Anazen333 - The Things I Think About

Entrapta deserved better

My posts are usually either detailed analysis or memes and shitposts.

I’ve re-watched the show and this will be an angry rant…  

With every viewing of the show, Entrapta’s arc makes me progressively angrier because I empathize with her so much.

She is introduced to the show as being a reclusive scientist, known throughout the Maker’s guild for her genius. Even her staff is weary of her. She spends all her time alone with her robot friends in her lab within her isolated castle.

The alliance interacts with her with the explicit purpose of recruiting her into their war effort. They want her for her ability to build weapons for them. That’s as deep as the relationship goes this far.

Entrapta has no stakes in the war, the Horde hadn’t attacked Dryl. She joins them because she wants to be their friend; she wants to help them in the only way she knows how, using her technological prowess to their benefit. Due to her isolation (and her being autistic), Entratpa struggles to understand interpersonal dynamics. Human interaction is a skill she has had little practical experience with. She understands the concepts, the rules of the game, so to speak, but she has seen it in play only as a third party rarely ever practicing it herself.

She’s invited to the Princess prom due to her princes status but she’s an outsider there too. No “friendly” princess seeks her out to hang out with her as a friend would. The only person who does so is Catra, and she does it for her own reasons…

With Glimmer abducted, the alliance mounts a half-baked rescue operation. Everything Entrapta did in this episode had a purpose, it looked like she kept getting distracted when in actuality, she was studying horde tech, rescuing Seahawk and furthering their mission and she had no time to explain herself (it also occurs to me that Entrapta might not explain herself because no one asked and no one ever understands her reasoning anyway) The princesses try to control her because she’s being “difficult”. They don’t care why she’s being difficult, they want her to conform.

Once they rescued Glimmer, they don’t even come back to check if Entrapta’s actually dead, or to get her remains and put them to rest respectfully. They allready have the princess they came for.  

Entrapta is all alone with her new robot friend Emily in the Frightzone vents, expecting that she’d get rescued because “no princess left behind” but rescue never actually comes.

Catra uses this new abandonment to convince her to switch sides. Entrapta didn’t jump ship because of her tech hyperfixation, she switched sides because Catra used her skill at pinpointing someone’s weak-spot and poking at it. 

Catra may not have been Shadow Weaver’s favorite ward (she was her scapegoat and punching bag, the poor girl) but she did learn from her and repeatedly put those skills to “good” use.

Once they find out she’s alive, the alliance wants to rescue her but she’s made new friends in the Horde and she think that they understand her fascination with science, friends that actually interact with her directly. She actually feels included here and as such, she’s not eager to return to the alliance’s side.

Entrapta befriends Catra and Scorpia but even in this trio, she is the third wheel. Catra is focused on herself, her ascension in The Horde and on her missing Adora. Scorpia is focused on Catra and on pinning for her.

Once Entrapta and Hordak start growing closer together, Catra stops talking to her. Perhaps she was hurt because Entrapta “broke her promise” to not go in Hordak’s sanctum, perhaps she was envious of her closeness to the Horde leader, or perhaps both, either way, the friendship is broken from Catra’s side. Entrapta still sees her as a friend and fights Hordak over the decision to send her to Beast Island. Despite his grouchiness, he considers her request and grants it.

As recompense for saving her life, Catra backstabs Entrapta when she tried to stop Catra from triggering a potentially world ending event and then sends her to the fate Entrapta saved her from: exile on Beast Island.

When faced with the choice between Catra and Entrapta, Scorpia choses Catra. Hordak is lied to so he doesn’t know to look for her, he believed she used him and is heartbroken about it.

You can actually pinpoint the moment his little heart breaks in this scene:

 Even so, he spends most of season 4 wanting to face her; he’d rather see her as an enemy than not see her at all.

After Catra proves herself a bad friend, (after months) Scorpia finally decides to rescue Entrapta and goes looking for help, deserting to the alliance. She has this little realization:

Adora is the only person that actually wants to go right away and rescue her. Bow wants to rescue her because they need her tech savvy and Glimmer says that they can rescue her after the war or something… (the Island she’s on is a death trap, she might not live that long for all they know)

she said this 

then this

She knows that this is a time sensitive issue but she wants to put it off  despite the urgency, if that doesn’t sound like friendship to you, then what does?  *sarcasm intensifies*

Contrast this with how the villain of the show reacted to the news of her being sent to Beast Island:

On Beast Island Bow gives her a longwinded speech about how she’s supposed to work harder at friendship. I know he’s projecting his own issues here but it still makes me so damn angry. Entrapta’s trying; she’s trying so hard, no one ever tries back! No one makes the effort to understand her (except that one clone but we’re not talking about him), she has to conform to their expectations, the reverse is never applicable.

Anyway, stuff happens and Glimmer is abducted again, by Horde Prime this time.

Then that whole “Lauch” episode happened. Entrapta is distrusted by the alliance more than Scorpia is. She is seen and cold and interested only in tech, she has to explain and redeem herself in their eyes after they treat her like rubbish. They don’t connect the fact that helping them with tech is how she shows her friendship. 

It’s the only thing she thinks she’s worth to them. She wants to be accepted by them so badly.

 Entrapta gets emotional over rescuing Glimmer! 

The person who when faced with the same prospect, said he’d do it later…

Even Catra’s apology to Entrapta for trying to kill her is a blank “I’m sorry”. Pls say what exactly you are sorry for Catra. Entrapta deserves that much. Bow received a better apology for far less of an offense.

All she ever does in the show is work towards furthering someone else’s goals, her own are always a second thought. As @cruelfeline​ pointed out, even a small scene with her discussing what happened with Hordak, her reaction to it and the gang focusing on Entrapta’s troubles for ONCE , even if it’s just offering her emotional support, would have meant so much.

Why is the show trying to tell me that Entrapta should work on being a better friend?

That’s a terrible message!

She doesn’t need to work harder on her friends, she NEEDS BETTER FRIENDS.

So many of us ND people end up being third wheels at best and we blame that on ourselves, we internalize the reasoning that our friendship fail because we’re weird and we’re not doing it right. That we’re the ones that have to try harder to be understood and that our concerns should come second.  That is a terrible thing to internalize, we are blaming ourselves constantly because we try to understand others and they never try to understand us back. 

With age, I’ve grown out of trying and being different so that other people would like me. They’d end up liking the mask I project, not me anyway. I’ve found people that understand me and that like me for who I am, but only after I’ve stopped trying to be “better” for others to accept me. With being honestly “weird” with those around me, I’ve been accepted far more than for trying to fit in. And I’ve realized that people that shun my otherness are not worth the effort to try and befriend in the first pace .

 That is what young autistics need to hear, not “git gud” at friendship.  You are not wrong, you are not defective or broken, you are you and you’re beautiful just the way you are. If other people don’t see that, then the failing is theirs. Don’t change, just look for people that see you. 

How I make mundane interactions more entertaining in my head :3

Was tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city . I love doing these!

Perks of Working at a University

Schedules are dictated by the school year - long holidays and summer hours are shorter

Lots of free/cheap events - because they’re catering to students who have little to no money

Get to commute through and work at a pretty campus - mine is, anyway

When school is canceled, work is canceled - yay snow days!

The Major Con of Working at a University (for me)

Encountering a man that checks off so many of my “Oh, no, he’s hot” boxes - Asian medical student who plays the violin with beautiful long fingers that is wearing glasses and a suit-!!!

Only to realize he’s probably ten years younger than me.

Leaving Fundamentalism...

...was hard for me. From birth, I was raised in a radically conservative family of Christians. But even at a young age, I didn’t feel connected to the beliefs I was spoon fed in every aspect of my life. 

I was made to feel guilty for not having blind faith. I was made to feel like I was a horrible person when doctrine was explained and it still didn’t make sense. I was made to feel shame for faking ‘my beliefs’. All for the sake of obeying my parents and being accepted by the only community I was allowed to be in.

But finally, after years of pressure and self doubt, I’m finally free.

There are still things I’m working on. I still am triggered and feel sick at the thought of entering a church or when I hear Christian music. I’m still trying to push aside the anti lgbtq+ thoughts I get automatically, even though I know the only reason I was against them was because I was told I was supposed to be - and without that harmful religion dictating my thoughts, there’s no reason why I should be against them.

And while I still have a ways to go towards a life where the trauma doesn’t affect me all the time, I can see the progress I’ve made already.

When I hear someone - like my family or random person - talk about Christianity, I now feel the same level of indifference towards it that I feel towards other religions with flawed beliefs/doctrine.

Yes, every now and then I still have that sense of dread that if I don’t believe in Christ that I’m going to suffer in hell for all eternity (such a wholesome thought that stems from a religion that says its based on universal love), but for the most part, now I can remember all those Bible stories and treat them the same as Greek myths. I can respect that someone’s Christian beliefs gives them comfort, but I don’t have to agree with them to be in a relationship with them. 

Finally, I’m free to be on the outside and look in with indifference.

Part 2

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I’M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!!!!!

PRAISE THE ALIEN LORDS SHE HAS RETURNED!!

And you know what that means……

RAZAYA REUNION!!!

Tagged by my bestie @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city for another fun tag game :3

soft: 7/20

baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night

dark academia: 10/20

neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story

edgy: 6/20

closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing (but not doing it) | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks

70s: 5/20

colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding

peppy casual: 7/20

collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

To the late diagnosed ASD community:

How many of you were misdiagnosed the first time?

How many of you felt that your assessor wasn’t taking you seriously?

What sort of tests did they do? What sort of questions did they ask? And did they make sense in relating to ASD, especially in adult women?

What did you do after the assessment when you were told everything seems normal? And that you were just experiencing mild forms of anxiety and showed slight traces of OCD?

What do I do when I've done so much research, heard so many stories from people in the ASD community and related to them so well, used their knowledge and experience to help me get through my daily life a litter easier, only to be told by a professional that I'm not Actually Autistic?

Just a random peeve of mine I discovered:

I think guys that are of average height but lanky with pianist hands, prominent cheekbones, soulful brown eyes, soft tenor voices, and who are studying Neural Engineering shouldn’t be allowed to work at the Genius Bar at Apple stores…at least not when they’re fixing on my malfunctioning iPad.

Seriously, it’s not fair that a guy I would have dreamed up to be the perfect love interest in one of my stories actually shows up in real life.