Aragon-irl - MARI

Today I bring you… A WHOLE PAGE OF THESE SILLY BILLIES‼️‼️

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

Oml- this issue was even BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT😭😭 (what are they smoking indeed??)

IM SORRY BUT WE WONT SURVIVE ON THE FOOD IN MIDDLE EARTH

Alright so, after looking at the food in Middle earth it does look amazing BUT I WONT BE ABLE TO EAT MY NOODLES OR RICE!! Like I love my po-tat-oes but I can only eat so many until I have had my fill for the week. And let me not even get started on seasoning, Middle earth is based on Europe with a lot of similarities and differences but one small problem with this..... we got OUR SPICES from ancient Egyptian, Chinese, and Indian cultures so what do you my dear readers think the food in Middle earth tastes like? Pepper is going to become hot and salt the new sweet BECAUSE SUGAR IS ALSO FROM ASIA....

But just imagen coming from our world tasting a dish from Lord Elrond or someone else that is an important person and smack talk them for calling pepper spicy. You are going to be standing there and ask if you can make something for yourself cus this shit was so bland and boring. (Spoiler you are going to invent spices right then and there and become super rich and famous, Smaug can go and cry in a corner cus u wont be needing his treasure)

idk if middle earth has valentine, probably not, but if they DONT imagine asking ur one to be your valentine and they just DONT GET WHAT YOU MEAN😭😭 Like what do you mean valentine? What is a valentine? Valentines day? What is that? Why are you making that face? Did I say something wrong?

After explaining what it is they just think it is the sweetes thing <3

OK BUT A MODERN FASHION GIRLY IN MIDDLE EARTH

Just imagen you packing for a trip or smt with all ur makeup, clothes and accessories then you all of a sudden when u just closed the bag u end up falling down in the middle of the road in front of either Thorin's company or the fellowship. They end up taking you with them cus somehow everyone is a gentleman and when its time to either celebrate or eat somewhere nice (Rivendell or Rohan for example) you wip out you makeup bag and the nicest/most flattering clothing pice you can find. THE WAY THEIR JAWS DROP WHEN THEY SEE YOU WHEN YOU "TRY" TO LOOK GOOD- BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, WONDERFUL,AMAZING, STUNNING!!!!

EVERYONE WONDERS AND YOU END UP TELLING THEM EVERYTHING FROM WHERE TO APPLY CONCEALER, BEST BLUSH PLACEMENT, HOW COLOR THEORY ALSO APPLY DO DRESSING YOURSELF, WHAT LOOKS BEST ON WHAT BODY TYPE AND ALL THE DIFFIRENT AESTHETICS :D

Yayyyyy

Boromir: "We can use this ring-"

(Name): You have literally spent less than 10 minutes with a ring you just thought was a legend and you think we can use it to save us?? Brother let us ask the hobbit what he had to face just to get to Rivendell *Turns to Frodo*

Frodo is such a good lad 🍵💝

UwU finally finished my entry for @lorbalith’s wonderful DTIYS challenge. Congratulations on over 9k on insta, and I hope you’ll reach 10k soon! ❤️✨

The Midwestern Princess