I Probably Will Now, Eventually, Nobby Leach Is Such A Blank Slate That I Don't Feel Any Pressure With

@thesoulspulse suggested in this post a while back that Vlad should have become Casper High's principal instead of Amity Park's mayor, and I completely agree. Would have been waaaaaay funnier and better preserved his status as a very personal threat/potential ally to Danny specifically. Plus, we could have gotten a really dramatic students vs faculty dodgeball game with Vlad vs Danny as the inciting force!!

Muggleborn Conspiracy of the Statute of Secrecy

Anyone think how weird it is that none of the Muggleborns question the Statute of Secrecy? 

Even if you think Rowling is correct that re-introducing magic to muggles would be a very bad idea there’s always that one special pick-me 11 yr. old who thinks they’ll be the one to change things. Having a special secret that no one knows about and living with a bunch of kids your age and no parents is fun in the short-term, but you can’t tell me these kids didn’t get frustrated with the no magic during the summer rule, the exclusion of their parents from magical events (muggle parents could also be targeted by trigger-happy aurors, so there’s the constant fear that your parents could be obliviated), the muggleborn discrimination, and even just the difference in culture could be jarring. 

That’s enough to make any kid frustrated and want to change things. So why don’t they? 

I have no ducking clue but I’m gonna find out. 

Muggleborns find out about the wizarding world before their first year at Hogwarts on their 11th birthday. Why not earlier? 

First, let’s look at it from the angle of moving to a new country vs being a tourist in one. You see the pamphlets and the guidebooks; they all talk about how amazing this place is. The travel agent (aka the Hogwarts professor) that’s been working with you had done all of the hard work for you. In both instances you probably see the destination through rose-tinted glasses in the beginning. But if you’re living there eventually the glasses come off and you start to get opinions about how to make it a better place and more accommodating for you. 

Telling Muggleborns earlier gives them time to get used to the new culture they’ve found themselves in, and the lack of school gives the parents more opportunity to explore it too. But by being introduced so close to the beginning of the school year, the introduction to the wizarding world becomes all about school and preparing for that aspect of this new culture. Everything else is secondary to that and it puts both the parents and the child at a disadvantage. It also makes this new world feel more temporary. For example, the difference between dual citizenship vs studying abroad on a temporary student visa (not an exact comparison but you get what I mean right?). All the parents know is that their kid needs to learn how to control their magic and they need to go to magic school to do that. The parents and the kid probably aren’t told what happens after, the kid at least is definitely not thinking about the long-term. 

When you tell the kids right before school starts and offer a professor to guide them through the world, the parents don’t exactly get time to adjust and learn with their kid. And before they get the chance to bond as a family over this crazy new world they’ve found themselves in, the kid is off to boarding school and whoops how the fuck are the parents going to explore now without A) magic B) being obliviated by uncaring Aurors C) a convenient magical guide or D) getting past the anti-muggle wards.  

Then once the kid comes back from school for the summer, it’s not a family experience anymore: it’s an us vs parents. The parents have missed out on the cultural immersion. The kid gets irritated because not only are they not allowed to do magic during the summer but their parents just seem so ignorant and oblivious now. They keep asking questions about the magical world the kid doesn’t want to talk about it bc they’ll have to explain every other word and it just reminds them that they’re not allowed to do magic did you make friends? mudbloods stick together but they can’t tell their parents about that part bc what if they try to kick up a fuss. The purebloods could kill them and no one would care did you try anything new? someone dosed them with a love potion for a day and was mad when they got upset about it. and how was school? what was the school like? the staircase is a death trap mom. There was a whole corridor sectioned off bc whatever was there could kills us dad. My friend told me you could get sent to the forbidden forest in the dead of night for detention while a unicorn killer was on the loose. I’m scared but I can’t tell you bc they won’t listen to you and if you’re too loud they’ll just obliviate you. 

The parents want to help but being away from them has made the child distance themselves from needing their parents help. I also imagine that all of the anti-muggle talk might’ve gotten to them a little bit. Kids aren’t saints, they like to believe that they know better and being surrounded by other kids who were also thinking the same thing did not help. And in this case, where they have something their parents will never have in a world their parents will never be able to enter without them I imagine some of them starting feeling a little superior Hermione. And the thing is they’re right in a way, the parents didn’t get to experience the culture, the discrimination, the people, the context. Muggleborn children themselves are kind of gatekeeping this knowledge to weaponize the parents ignorance for their own benefit. As the parents continuously stay ignorant, the children steadily feel more justified in their belief that they know best. They’re doing the Purebloods job for them. 

The Wizarding government is actually very clever for doing this. It’s sick but you can’t deny it’s effectiveness. 

If you tell the kid that they have magic earlier, then it gives the muggle parents time to adjust with their child and create a united front. It also gives them time to find other Muggleborn kids and parents experiencing the same thing. 

But if you tell them right before they legally have to go to school...the Wizarding World appears like this mystical solution to the Muggleborn parent’s problems after years of unexplained accidental magic. It also has the added benefit of weeding out the more extreme end of the anti-magic parents bc those that didn’t tolerate the accidental magic probably got rid of their kid one way or another so now the Wizarding World doesn’t have to worry about policing those parents or helping that kid from an abusive home! (it’s dark I know but this is a government we’re talking about. You can read worse in the news.) It definitely didn’t catch all of the abusive muggle parents, Harry Potter notwithstanding, but I digress. The parents that did keep their kid could develop a strained relationship with them due to accidental magic and the parents not believing the kids. Then there’s probably the lack of muggle friends due to said accidental magic in one way or another. The kid is feeling freakish but special, alone, scared, and frustrated that no one seems to know how they can do the things they do. The parents were at their wits end when magic came knocking and offered them a solution. 

This scenario didn’t happen to every Muggleborn but I imagine there were enough of them going through some variation of this and that’s enough for the Wizarding World. 

The Statute of Secrecy stays intact because Muggleborns aren’t introduced into the world early enough to question it beyond the surface level. And by the time they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into, they’ve deluded themselves into thinking things are better this way. 

And for the few that grow up still desiring the Statute’s abolishment, what are they going to do as a lone ranger standing against the wealthy pureblood elites? They can’t get anywhere of note without a Pureblood’s backing and breaking the Statute would result in mass chaos, it’s unprofitable, why would they endorse it? Not to mention, in the aftermath of Grindelwald any talk of that would be shut down quick. 

In the context of RadioStatic I find the idea of transfemme Vox to be really amusing, because you think Vox is the first good male relationship Alastor has had but NOPE!

SURPRISE FEMME!!!

Neither of them realized it but Alastor’s Gal Pal sensors were kicking off

and she felt so special about it too

AppleRadio hires IMP to get gifts for Charlie

Charlie's knowledge of Earth began and ended in Eden. After living in Hell her whole life, she couldn't even comprehend a world where humans did not kill and maim each other out in the open.

Sinners often discarded their morality, because if you were in Hell -you'd already hit rock-bottom. She wants to remind sinners of their humanity and give them a bit of Earth in Hell.

But she wouldn't even know where to begin, what to bring to Hell, how to avoid being burned at the stake- (did humans still do that??)

Luckily her dad and hotelier separately overheard her frustrations and discovered IMP.

Lucifer comes up with a quick ew sinner disguise and heads on down to hire them to bring back Earth stuff. Everything goes well, but the trouble arrives when he goes to pick up the stuff IMP had brought back.

Alastor had stopped by and requested the same thing, so Blitzo decided to kill 2 sinners with 1 trip and have them come pick up their shit at the same time.

--

Lucifer strolls into IMP's office with his very bad sinner disguise in place like he hadn't spent the last 3 days in his workshop with no sleep. And then stops in his tracks once he actually sees him. Fucking Alastor.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why it seems we both had the very same idea for our darling daughter!"

"First off, MY daughter! Second of all-"

IMP watches this thinking they're a divorced couple with a daughter who really hate each other.

They eventually leave get kicked out with their merchandise and present their spoils to Charlie.

She loves it. And maybe could they pretty please find this one other thing a resident missed on Earth-Oh! Actually, Baxter wanted to test Earth materials against Hells could they maybe-?

They each leave for IMP with 2 very long lists.

i personally need 'em to team up real bad

Hello. Welcome to the official brand tumblr of Martin Scorsese’s Goncharov (1973), a place for all things Goncharov.

Poster

Trailer I / Trailer II

Rotten Tomatoes

Winter comes to Naples.

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Goncharov Explanation

Goncharov Quick Guide

All original posts tagged with #unreality but all others will remain untagged since they are just reblogged, so please keep that in mind

Sometimes you gotta pick a cat up just to set them back down somewhere nearby. Remind them who calls the shots in your house. Oh you thought you were lying on the floor? Dead wrong fool you're standing on the couch cushion now staring up at me waiting for an explanation. You'll never get it. I'm gone. I'm walking away. I'm already in the next room before you can so much as mutter a confused "meow." later son. you're reexamining your place in the universe all by yourself. Consider my power in a empty living room

Jason: *picks up a hitchhiker*

After a few miles...

Hitchhiker: Aren't you afraid that I might be a serial killer?

Jason: Nah, the odds of two serial killers being in the same car is highly unlikely.

TMR Fic Idea

Galatea Merrythought was the dark arts professor during Tom Riddle’s school years, retiring when he graduated. 

In this fic, Merrythought becomes Riddle’s mentor and was the one to introduce him to the many creatures (vampires, werewolves, giants, etc) who would’ve made up Voldemort’s ranks. Instilling in him a sense of adventure and treasure hunting that gave him the knowledge to find the lost Diadem in the first place. 

Merrythought takes him on wild adventures that are only possible because she has an illegal time turner. 

Tom accidentally becomes friends and fellow adventurers with Muggleborn Hufflepuffs Nobby Leach and Margot Doope, and Ravenclaw underclassman Myrtle Warren.  

Nobby being a blunt, angry little gremlin who says what he thinks no matter what others may say about him. He has no patience for his bloodpurity spouting Pureblood classmates and will throwdown for his fellow Puffs anytime, anywhere. Despite his rude, brash personality, his fellow Muggleborns still find him a compelling leader. Now, Tom and Leach together...they’re practically unstoppable. 

Margot is a cold, logical upperclassman who would likely fit in with the Ravenclaw’s if not for her dedication to her work. She refuses to believe magic and muggle technological advances can’t be combined and experiments with both. They often explode in her face, but she refuses to give up. 

Myrtle is always popping up where you least expect her, and annoying the hell out of Tom. She’s far sharper than her boy-crazy tendencies would have you believe, but she usually arrives at the wrong conclusion and still somehow manages to be right. (Much to Tom’s frustration.) 

Basically the Muggleborn friend squad you never knew you wanted. This time with an extra helping of the ignored and overlooked Hogwarts Houses, aka the not-Gryffindors. :D  

A group of friends working together to figure out wixen culture, their identities, and their place in the world. 

Also they’re all LGBT+ of some kind. You’re Welcome. 

TL:DR

Tom Riddle Hogwarts AU where he gets a supportive professor and muggleborn friends who go on wacky adventures together and figure out how to be human. 

And yes Tom is still messed up, but so are they. It’s not gonna be all sun shine and roses. See my other tom riddle posts for reference. I’ll likely be addressing most if not all of them.