Imagine If Vaggie And Alastor Bond Together Over Their Hatred Of Men.

Based on this post bcs that legit made me laugh 

Tom Riddle AU - Adventure Time

I haven’t even watched Adventure Time but just by watching the clips on YouTube I can say with certainty that if Simon Petrikov had raised Tom Riddle there would have been no Voldemort. 

This man convinced an evil immortal alien that made even the Lord of Evil pause to view him as a father figure. Not to mention Marceline, the daughter of said Lord of Evil. Both informal adoptions happened while he was some kind of insane. Bro wasn’t even at his best and still managed to dad like a champ.

Simon takes one look at these ‘lost’ causes and doesn’t waste time asking “is anyone gonna raise that?” He’s already there reaching through broken glass for a teddy bear. 

So Tom “born from a love potion so he’s not able to feel love” Riddle doesn’t stand a chance. Also just the thought of Tom living it up in Ooo as the immortal older brother to Marceline just sounds cool. Wizard King Tom anyone? 

fwiw my take on that first scene where Jayce and Viktor meet is like. Viktor is the most powerful person in the room in that scene and he knows it and he is enjoying it a bit. He doesn't know fuckall about Jayce but I am certain he knows that this is the Kirammans' penthouse. If Heimerdinger didn't tell him then Grayson would have, because this isn't just a random break-in, this is the real estate of Piltover's 1% and a certain amount of discretion is expected.

So I think he'd assume Jayce is just some rich kid because who else hangs out with the Kirammans and he's put the whole thing in the category of "oh ho ho rich kid experiences a Consequence," and therefore I think he'd be neither particularly sympathetic toward Jayce nor particularly worried that he could face a life-derailing punishment for this. Like Heimerdinger, he probably expects Jayce to get off with a slap on the wrist--which he very well might have if he'd followed Heimerdinger's advice and kept his mouth shut about magic. (Of course then there would be no plot, because the mention of magic is what gets both Viktor and Mel interested in Jayce.)

It's not until he's flipping through Jayce's notebook that he's like wait just a goddamn minute and Jayce gets immediately reassigned to Gotta Know More About This Guy in his mind. I don't think he's even expecting to find Jayce at the penthouse later. He goes back to look at the board and/or to look for any more research materials that he may have missed. But then Jayce is there and he's about to off himself and Viktor is like wait you can't do that I have follow-up questions.

yeah so,

voldemort cowlick manifesto

Ace Radiostatic idea Vox finally figuring himself out and trying to figure out how to talk to Alastor especially now he's realized yes AL likes him romantically, or he hopes at least. And does not want to blow it again and while sitting in an overlords meeting just blurts out "I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU" to Alastor. Everyone else is just staring WTF. But Alastor communicates him via radio waves or Alastor can tell what he means. All the overlords think Alastor is going to kill him but instead "I'll be free at 8 pick me up then". Every single Overlord 'WTF HOW DID THAT WORK???'

The fastest and most blunt way to clear up a long-standing miscommunication but if it works it works, that'd be funny as hell to witness everyone's faces

During an Overlord Meeting

Random Overlord: So how'd you bag the King of Hell?

Alastor: Well I-

Lucifer: The first time we met he told me to go fuck myself and dropped a piano on my head

Other Overlords: ...

Lucifer: I've been charmed by his audacity ever since

When you summon the devil and he keeps you company at night.

Inaccurate. A good person resists the impulse to rob a house. Even though they keep an extra key under the doormat, leave their downstairs window open, have absolutely no security cameras-

snape: you know, i could rob a house easily if i wanted to. but i won’t, because i’m a good person.

dumbledore: a good person wouldn’t consider robbing a house in the first place!

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy