Stare. Dead Stare. It Didn’t Have An Ending Nor Did He Remember When It All Began. Flames Were Reflecting
Stare. Dead stare. It didn’t have an ending nor did he remember when it all began. Flames were reflecting in those dark iris of Anthony’s eyes, didn’t represent what he felt at all. Colors were dancing all across the room, while some gray bag of blood didn’t even move for the celebration of once again rising sun. His legs were shaking, so he finally stood up to close the window, just to realize it wasn’t cold that made him freeze. Ironic isn’t it,he thought, everything in this room reminded him of warmth of happiness that he might never feel again. In flame he saw escape, in flame he found ease. Desire to run didn’t leave him for a second, but he couldn’t even breathe properly, or maybe it was just а dirt on long-time abandoned carpet. Dust was flying all across the room just like Anthony’s memories did. Both turned his eyes red. It wasn’t the end of everything, maybe. But one thing was for sure ending, and it was his freedom, once and for all.
More Posts from Artsyflex and Others
My therapist- John Lennon saying and I oop- as George squeezes passed him in the 60s isn't real, it cant hurt you
John Lennon saying and i oop- as George squeezes passed him in the 60s-
7 Comfort Films
I was tagged by @academicsuggestions
Mamma Mia! (And Mamma Mia 2)
The Princess Diaries
Moonrise Kingdom
Clueless
Scream
Legally Blonde
All Harry Potter films
I tag @theladyvampira @darkacademaniac @dark-academiia and anyone else who wants to participate 🖤
“The ‘60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great.” - Abbie Hoffman.
I’m a background character in everyone’s life. I’m not important to anyone. I don’t even matter.
:)
Real Talk.
oh my god this is something out of life experience
For my wife, after a near-death experience on the eve of our anniversary
When I tell you I believe in love at first at sight, I mean that every time I look you are a different person. I mean that looking’s not the same as seeing—we’re not static. It’s an hypothesis the sun will rise tomorrow. Every day I see it, and worry is the thief of so much joy, but not of this— that I don’t take it for granted. And when I say “I love you” every time you take the car, I mean not only that we almost hit a moose the other day. I mean it’s easier to write a sex scene than a make-out session. I mean I can’t describe your breath into another mouth, it’s so familiar— and the passion that could make it last forever came from novelty or desperation. So I think about meteors when we kiss. I think of supernovas, blackholes, gamma ray bursts and all the things in space that could vaporize us— every mass extinction event except the Anthropocene because that’s too depressing. I think about there being no god and no heaven and no higher purpose when I look into your eyes and I don’t need them, I just need time to slow down. I’m sorry I haven’t written you more poems, my love, they’re not marketable I think. People like to read themselves into these things and, well you know I like to write them there. But it’s not for me to say— this ‘you’ is only yours. I’ve put nothing on a pedestal that wasn’t my own. And when I ask if you can take a sick day while the kid’s at school, I mean not only that I want to ravish you in every room; I mean it doesn’t matter if we hit those moose or not— I mean that I don’t want us to grow old together, I want to be there when that meteor hits, stopping time forever— I won’t go into that light without you. And when I say “I love you” and “sleep well”, I mean I hope to see you in the morning for the first time. I mean that I would walk a thousand miles in the night to toss a pebble at your bedroom window, lift a boombox and shout: I’ve known you for a century; let me in your life. * * * Written Novemeber 2020.
things that have changed since starving myself & becoming "the pretty girl" from a fat girl's pov:
it's not ok how everything has changed. people treat me like a person now. there is such thing as skinny privilege. I'm walking living proof. I was fat all throughout childhood up till my teens, very bullied, avoided, nobody fucking loved me.
it's a huge change to go through having to have so much personality to make up for being ugly just for some positive human contact to being the girl everyone wants to have a piece of. it's so much change to be constantly isolated so painfully just wanting to be loved & understood to me now being flooded with people.
I get so much attention, respect, free stuff, so many life opportunities have opened, there's so much more potential as if my life was worthless before.
it's scary how much my life has gone full 360 from having this eating disorder.
downside of this all is it's made the world scarier at the same time. I was hidden for so long, I sometimes find myself almost longing for my old superpower of being undesirable. Men randomly walk closer, talk more, are more sexually advancing and are more persistent.
Men have changed the most to my weightloss and it's scary. I cant leave my house alone (but good thing I have this eating disorder or else I would've never met my best friend who saved my ass & now I live with)
It's not fair to think my whole life would've been different if I was thin growing up. So much was taken away from me just from not being a pretty girl.
this little girl's whole life was determined by how pretty she was from the time she started kindergarten.
I had to start killing myself just for some love and attention and along the way I got the world. that's fucking sad. I now have to live with knowing my eating disorder moved my life forward and the fear of it all going away.
I'm Pro Recovery, I don't want anyone to read this and think "this will solve all my problems" cause that's bullshit. I'm sick. This is a disorder, in the long run it doesn't stay pretty. I've gone to residential and am consistently trying to recover, it's a never ending battle.
It's devastating knowing that being female my whole life from childhood to death is majorly affected by how pretty I am. children don't deserve that. Women don't deserve that.
The concept of the secret history classics class over zoom continues to occupy all my thoughts but unfortunately julian would just hold his class in person bc he has no regard for the health and safety of his students
i will draw flowers on my skin, your touch made me bloom and i didn’t have that for a while. early morning runs are now my favorite moments, just like time that ran so fast, when u were next to me. maybe i need you back, maybe i need to get over us. but honestly it doesn’t matter what i need to do, because all i want is you, but i’m not what will make you happy, and i’m not gonna be selfish on this one. my first love, my first real love, i thought it is going to hurt, but it doesn’t. a lessons is learnt but do i want to keep on moving? do i want to be in this hole, and feel not whole ever again? my letter that you will never receive. my true feeling that you will never acknowledge. i could give you time, all of the time on earth to think, i could wait my whole life, for you to come and kiss me on my death bed telling me that you decided to stay and love me like you should. just for a minute. just for a moment. i desire to be yours so badly, i gave up on meaning at all, i want to scream, but only whisper leaves my mouth, and it says “i still and will always fucking love you”. week, one fucking week to decide my whole destiny, please choose me, please be happy with me, please love me like i do. maybe it is too much to ask, maybe i am so stupid and clueless, but hope you will never leave me, just keep me closer to your body, and let me feel the heat. just one more time, just one more call, and one more hang out. fall in love with me. just once again. i need you. i crave for you. this is pathetic, maybe. but my need of you is just immaculate and i can’t hold it back.
