asklepius2

Latest Posts by asklepius2

IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST

OR ‘PEAKED’

BUT PIQUED

‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’

THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA

I don't like how the birthdays from stardew valley are set up in the real world. Like most of December is in the fall according to the solstice but Sebastian's birthday is winter 10 and we've decided it's December 10th.

Nah, let's give all the characters accurate birthdays in accordance with the seasons.

I'll set it up 2 ways:

1. Taking the earliest dates of each solstice and equinox that defines the seasons and dividing that by 28 (number of days in a stardew valley season) then multiplied that number by the NPC's bday (I'll explain the math later)

2. Taking the average amount of days in-between each IRL season and dividing that by 28

Earliest dates are as follows:

Spring March 19

Summer June 20

Autumn September 21

Winter December 20

The length of each season in this method is

91 days for spring

93 days for summer

90 days for fall

90 days for winter

The average days in between is 91.5 days.

Dividing by 28 we get

3.25 Spring

3.32142857 Summer

3.2142857 Autumn / Winter

3.267857142857143 Average

These numbers are the difference between our real world dates and stardew valley dates

Our season are about 90 days long, their's are 28 days so

1 day for stardew players is about 3 days for us.

Now that we have these numbers let's find out how each day correlates to each villager.

It will be in order of earliest birthday to latest and will follow this format

NPC-Season-ingame Bday-Bday(method 1)-Bday(method 2)

Kent- Spring 4- Apr 1

Lewis- Spring 7- Apr 10

Vincent- Spring 10- Apr 20

Haley- Spring 14- May 3

Pam- Spring 18- May 16

Shane- Spring 20- May 23

Pierre- Spring 26- Jun 11

Emily- Spring 27- Jun 14- Jun 15

Jas- Summer 4- Jul 3

Gus- Summer 8- Jul 16

Maru- Summer 10- Jul 23- Jul 22

Alex- Summer 13- Aug 2- Aug 1

Sam- Summer 17- Aug 15- Aug 14

Demetrius- Summer 19- Aug 22- Aug 21

Dwarf- Summer 22- Sep 1-Aug 30

Willy- Summer 24- Sep 7- Sep 6

Leo- Summer 26- Sep 14- Sep 12

Penny- Autumn 2- Sep 27

Elliott- Autumn 5- Oct 7

Jodi- Autumn 11- Oct 26

Abigail- Autumn 13- Nov 1- Nov 2

Sandy- Autumn 15- Nov 8- Nov 9

Marnie- Autumn 18- Nov 17- Nov 18

Robin- Autumn 21- Nov 27- Nov 28

George- Autumn 24- Dec 7- Dec 8

Krobus- Winter 1- Dec 23

Linus- Winter 3- Dec 29

Caroline- Winter 7- Jan 11

Sebastian- Winter 10- Jan 21

Harvey- Winter 14- Feb 2- Feb 3

Wizard- Winter 17- Feb 12- Feb 13

Evelyn- Winter 20- Feb 22- Feb 23

Leah- Winter 23- Mar 3- Mar 5

Clint- Winter 26- Mar 13- Mar 14

If there is only one date on the NPC that means both dates are the same

I'd like to thank @cloverbug83 for helping with the math.

TL:DR The dates in stardew valley are incorrect and I updated them according to IRL seasons.

2024 MANDATE

Do NOT. Do not. DO NOT buy fake leather

Pirate everything. Burn cds. Fight the cloud

PHYSICAL MEDIA

Tip food service workers crazy style

Smile at yr bus driver

Wear more eyeliner

Read superhero comic books

Paint more blood and gore

See saw xi in theaters

DIY OR DIE

Draw messy

LIVE MUSIC

remember that old panic at the disco is good truly

Tell people you love them

Stompy boots

My Chemical Romance

Assault a customer at your retail job

Write that weird fanfic

Watch every vampire movie ever made

Wear that crop top

Start a fire

Listen to music made by angry women

Remember that you are fucking alive and do whatever you want

you’re hearing it more and more

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

It's so weird it's called the 2023rd year of our lord when he died in 33, I dont think it's his year anymore

Senpai says you’re welcome

WHOA

This site has been going around Twitter trans accounts quite a bit lately, so just pointing out here too that it'll do fuck all, they're exploiting trans people at a time when hrt is particularly hard to access and please don't give them your money

November 3rd, 2022. 12:30 a.m.

Please

I'm so tired

I can't keep this up.

These aren't my lungs

My heart beats for others

But I'm not done

My tears smother.

I want death to come peacefully

Wrap me in cloth

And talk to me gracefully.

Whisper to me as I fall asleep

In the arms of someone who cares.

The weight on my shoulders makes me buckle

But the pressure on my chest makes me chuckle.

No one knows

Life is No's

To curl up and die

I float

One final night

No more lies.

To pass on to the joyous chatter of party goers

Is the sweetest release when laughter is the final overture.

I spread myself too thin and my limbs are being stolen from me

Who or where has what

And why is it how it has to be?

Just,

Please,

Leave me alone.

URGENT: Congress about to pass a mass censorship and surveillance bill under the guise of "protecting children"

May 13 2023

The Senate has been in a "do something!" mode regarding children's online safety. They're using this as an excuse to push for widespread internet censorship and surveillance. I already spoke about the EARN IT Act, which has a slimmer chance of passing with widespread opposition and a few senators saying they won't vote for it. The real threat is actually KOSA (s.1409), the Kid's Online Safety Act. It does two primary things:

First, KOSA pressures platforms to install filters that would wipe the net of anything deemed “inappropriate” for minors. This means instructing platforms to censor. We saw how these filters impacted websites firsthand with tumblr in 2018, with not only blocking all adult content but also sfw queer content such as suicide hotlines, art archives, wiping out entire blogs because they had queer fandom related posts, etc. Places that already use content filters have restricted important information about suicide prevention and LGBTQ+ support groups. KOSA would spread this kind of censorship to every corner of the internet. And who gets to decide what is and isn't harmful for minors? Oh don't worry, just every single state attorney general and the FTC, which is appointed by the president. You know, the same attorney generals that just banned gender-affirming healthcare under the guise that it "ruins mental health" of minors. This is why the Heritage Foundation was one of the first to sponsor the bill because they can use it to censor trans content, and Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee is it's co-author.

Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by forcing websites to use age verification and parental monitoring tools. Yup, that's right. Now every single person who wants to access the internet has to upload their govt ID online to third party apps that get hacked all the time. You queer in a red state? You undocumented? You an activist? Have fun getting all your online activity and metadata attached to your govt ID.  

Over 90+ human and LGBT rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the 2023 version won’t and can’t address the big problems with the bill. This bill has MASSIVE bipartisan support, and the authors Blumenthal and Blackburn (yes, that Blumenthal that's pushing the EARN IT Act, and who also sponsored the RESTRICT Act and SOPA/PIPA if you remember) are using the tragedy of mothers who lost their kids to online harassment and young adults who've been traumatized online to lobby for it, and got Dove the company to use a bunch of influencers to push for this under the guise it prevents eating disorders...I wish I was lying. There are already 30 co-sponsors.

HOW TO FIGHT KOSA

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES & THE COMMERCE COMMITTEE

This is a link to the Senate Commerce Committee phone numbers and a call script to read off of. (202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline

Opposition is getting drowned, and these upcoming weeks will be heavy for lobbying and they're using young people to do it. We NEED to show these senators that young people are actually opposed to this and don't want it.

2. Sign these petitions

Open Letter Against KOSA

Petition 1

Petition 2

Petition 3

Petition 4

Resistbot: Text PHJDYH to 50409

3. Spread the word.

The opposition is getting absolutely drowned online. Dove has nearly 100k signatures to push for KOSA. Influencers on tiktok are pushing for this without ever having read the bill. Fucking Lizzo is sponsoring it. If you have twitter, reddit, tiktok, are in any community, SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE.

Here is a linktree with all the above petitions for easy shargin: Link to linktree

dark green is a nice color. underrated

I long for the days of the wheel when I can see you again.

When the veil of unearthly delights are in sight.

I adore you my sweet, but I wish you could see it.

You watch through the mist of existence unable to touch mortality,

As my imagination of you makes me question morality.

I'll see you again my dear, it just may be sooner than you want.

Title: Maiden of The Mist

I'm going to start posting my own poetry here. I'm sorry, all will have Trigger warnings. You've been warned.

Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

[twitter]

Yeah, I'm into BDSM

Mother Matroska

Melancholy Italian boy call him depressed

Sad Italian boy call me wallowuigi

i. there's this phrase: bloom where you are planted.

ii. something i should maybe talk to my therapist about is that all of my daydreams involve me helping people. when i picture meeting celebrities, i'm usually just suggesting therapy to them. there's just not a lot left for me to get out of this world, i feel like - like with this time left i might as well use it for kindness.

iii. according to the gardening map, i was raised in Zone 6 of plant hardiness. i think that's kind of funny. i am good with plants, and keep too-many of them. i learned young about the colors of hydrangeas - how you cant tell the pH of the soil by it.

iv. they tore down both of the schools i attended as a kid. most of the forests we walked in have been turned into apartment complexes. there's nothing really left of the places i've been.

v. tumbleweeds are liminal things - they are carcasses that carry their seeds along with them. a plant that evolved to move. we have so much to learn about nature, and the way that happenstance creates miracles. can you imagine the beauty of that? i think so often about how the roots of a tree often take up the same shape and circumference of its branches. i think so much about carnivorous plants; those that eat with no stomach. about where plants store their "knowledge."

vi. i'm not going to write about who i was or what i did to myself before i left. only three things, which will make sense if you are the type of person i buried in that ditch. the first is that i ended up getting tattoos to cover it. the second is that setting boundaries still makes me uneasy. and the third is that i am constantly shocked at the fact i have actually made it to the place where i'm happy.

vii. there's this ongoing joke amongst those of us who keep plants: you don't really get a say in whether or not the plant wants to be dead. i'm excellent at orchids, but i kill every ivy i've ever met. i have been rotating one particular rescue plant around my apartment, trying to figure out what exactly is the right amount of sun for it. the truth is that sometimes things will never survive being kept.

viii. i used to daydream about joining the circus. about an alien abduction. i used to picture meeting celebrities and whispering please fucking get me out of this. did you know the quote originally came from a bishop? when i googled it, google told me the meaning is don't take what you have for granted. make the most of what you are given.

ix. sometimes i think about my 17 year old self. it's been happening a lot lately. i keep watching her through my memories, how she clawed herself raw, scratching at the walls. we got out, is the thing. i know we thought about staying. but oh, fuck dude: we could have never bloomed if we'd stayed planted.

horseman of pestilence

final of my horsemen of the apocalypse series

horseman of death

horseman of famine

horseman of war

One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 

It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!

So if you didn’t know that…now you do