assutee - Assutee

assutee

Assutee

25 posts

Latest Posts by assutee

assutee
3 weeks ago

I was at a job interview rn and I showed them my ID and suddenly they went silent and looked at me

"Woah.. ehm, did you have a nose job?"

No. No I didn't.

Can you believe EVERYONE I showed my ID picture before was like "Nah dude, you look fine!"??

LIES.. ALL LIES


Tags
assutee
3 weeks ago

This post was written by Sam Winchester

One must never underestimate an opponent who does not fear death. An enemy who values your death more than their own life is unpredictable - you cannot assume that there is anything they wouldn't dare to do. Risk a blow to distract you, run right into your sword in order to get their own into you, tackle you off a cliff to throw you both into your deaths. An enemy that does not seek to survive is ruthless, they will think in ways so alien to you, that you cannot anticipate what they might do. The best defense you can have is to never make enemies like this.

The same fear and respect should also apply to clowns. They do not fear shame or mockery, they have no honour to lose by becoming laughingstock. A clown will not hesitate to look ridiculous, if tackling you makes you both look stupid. A clown does not fear losing their dignity for as long as they can take yours down with them.

Do not make enemies with clowns.


Tags
assutee
1 month ago

Unpopular opinion, but I don't actually know why everyone thinks Will was down with cannibalism. When he threw up the ear Hannibal shoved down his throat, he was horrified. There was a night he brought fish for him, Jack, and Hannibal to eat and snarled about it being his turn to provide the meat. He and Hannibal weren't engaging in cannibalism every time they had dinner together; we saw them eat other types of meat including those birds. The only time Will knowingly engaged in cannibalism was the night he was trying to trick Hannibal into thinking he killed Freddie Lounds but actually brought some of Randall Tier. After that night, Will had nightmares about bursting out of the raven stag and turning into a wendigo. I think people need to be more accepting of the fact that they can ship Hannigram without taking Will so out of character. Cannibalism bothered Will. Killing innocent people bothered Will. He only enjoyed killing bad people. They even acknowledge on the show that it's doing bad things to bad people that makes Will feel good, but he still feels guilty for feeling good about it. Will wasn't okay with the things Hannibal did. He even tells Alana that they had this mutual agreement to continue ignoring the worst in each other in order to enjoy the best. For Will, the worst in Hannibal was that he was a serial killer who killed and ate his victims for being rude. For Hannibal, the worst thing about Will was that he was working with the FBI to investigate him. Will being in love with Hannibal and Will not being down with killing and cannibalizing innocent people are two things that can and do coexist.


Tags
assutee
1 month ago

Struggle as always

Me As A Writer

me as a writer

assutee
3 months ago

Whenever an artist who makes dark content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so dark and nasty' and whenever an artist who makes wholesome content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so aggressively wholesome' and it's like you know I think maybe you can't tell whether or not someone is a predator based on their artistic output.

assutee
5 months ago

Sure thing but y'all know that characters are supposed to be flawed in general AND they're in literal Hell where everything is more violent and sexual as on earth?

I love Stolas as a character BECAUSE he is an insufferable and selfish dick who thinks he can never be in the wrong. It's a really common personality trait and I like seeing it in Media. Today's "Assholes" can't be "assholes" anymore, because they all need to be "misunderstood" and I like that despite the tragic backstory you can still clearly tell he's in the wrong more often than not and that his backstory isn't an excuse but a reason - which everyone has.

Blitz is my favorite character BECAUSE he is absolutely incapable of overcoming his bad traits but he tries sometimes and when he does he fails and fails and fails and becomes more annoying to other people. He's hurting everyone - sometimes even accidentally and he doesn't realize it. He wants to overcome his trauma in all the wrong ways which heavily backfires and is stopping him from forming proper relationships. The two people who really owe him something (outside of adoption) just tolerate his bad behavior and are now - after the last episode - finally getting some growth of blitz in return.

I don't really care for Loona but for a traumatized, abandoned, literal DOG who just got adopted last second and having her entire life living in misery AND with a father figure with a character like Blitz it is understanding for me why she portraits her "love" to him in such a Stonewall-Way and treats him rather awful. She lived in the streets and her new family are mentally ill assassins, where was she supposed to get a healthy way to cope and communicate with people from? She still cares for him tho - both literally and figuratively.

And the phrase "no one wants to see characters doing their job" is literally just an opinion. Not a fact. Just because they think it's boring doesn't mean it really is. Different tastes exist for a reason.

Warp That Aesop Sums Up So Much Of Our Frustrations About The Series

Warp That Aesop Sums Up So Much Of Our Frustrations About The Series
Warp That Aesop Sums Up So Much Of Our Frustrations About The Series
Warp That Aesop Sums Up So Much Of Our Frustrations About The Series

I just love Helluva Boss' Warp that aesop page because it sums up everything wrong with this series, especially on Stolas' end. Seriously, this hits the nail on the head about the messages of the show and how much they dick suck Stolas and his shittiness.


Tags
assutee
5 months ago

Funniest shit I've seen in a good while

My humor is broken I guess

?
?

?

assutee
6 months ago

POV: When Aziraphale is extremely mad at Crowley so he writes down bad words bc he would never say them out loud to him

Practicing

Practicing


Tags
assutee
6 months ago

I know people normally brand Wade as The Funny One, but can we talk about how they'd be as a comedic duo? While flirting? While fighting?

People oftentimes tend to stereotype Logan as The Straight Man, the guy who keeps a serious face no matter what. And while sometimes that can be true, if you look at his characterization in the movies and comics, that isn't always the case. I think that because his humor is more subtle and down-to-earth than Wade's they tend to overlook it entirely.

Wade's humor is more obnoxious and in-your-face. He uses a cheerful, dramatic tone to cue you in that he's trying to be funny. He makes pop culture references and rambles on and makes constant, non-stop commentary. He's meant to be entertaining and funny because it's his brand to be insane and nonchalant even in the face of danger.

Logan, on the other hand, has this very blunt, sarcastic humor. The type that requires you to think a second to get it. He'd make little quips and jabs, but either with a straight face or barely there grin, so it's harder to tell he's joking. His tone of voice is more deep and gruff, which we don't typically associate with being humorous, but he does tease enemies and joke and throw their lines back in his face and goad them.

These two together would drive everyone up the wall.

Everyone (the X-men, the enemies, Wade's friends) assumed that their interactions would be Wade making crude, obnoxious jokes and Logan telling him to shut up or acting annoyed but... that doesn't happen? Instead, Logan quietly laughs at Wade's antics or, even more shockingly, joins in.

Logan gets Wade's humor—relishes in it, even. He would find Wade funny when he makes stupid jokes at all the wrong times because he does it too but nobody pays attention because it flies over their head or he's too intimidating for them to really register his words.

(The only reason Logan was more serious in the movie was that he was a grieving, broken man who thought he was responsible for the deaths of his family. He felt completely alone. And yet, even then, he played along to some extent with Wade's jokes and acted baffled rather than genuinely annoyed unless it was a super inappropriate moment. And you could tell he found Wade funny and liked him talking by the end of the movie.)

These two would be sitting across the table and Wade would make some stupid joke and Logan would add onto it, straight-faced.

Wade would gasp and clutch his chest dramatically at someone taking the Ketchup from him before he was done and whine, "How could you!? The betrayal! I thought I could trust you, this is a crime of the highest degree! I should have you canceled on Twitter for the atrocities you just committed."

And Logan would shake his head, stoicly, and reply, "It isn't cool to steal, man. It feels good in the moment but you hurt other people."

And everyone would sit there like what the fuck? Did Logan just... play along with Wade?

(Logan was biting his cheek to not grin at their confused faces and Wade was practically cackling to himself.)

It'd be even funnier when they're fighting villains together.

"Watch out, babygirl! Daddy's going to save you!" Deadpool would scream, as he lunges in to stab the enemy as they have Logan pinned to the ground.

"Well, 'Daddy' needs to do a better fucking job at it," Logan would grunt as he threw the guy off himself.

Logan would be snarky, because that's his personality and sense of humor, but he'd play along. He'd commit to the bit so hard that the enemies would stop attacking for a second just to look at each other like, "Are you seeing this???"

"Wolvie, what did I tell you about your greasy tits? If you wanted to be a prostitute you could at least tell me so we could start an Onlyfans and monetize it," Wade would say after Logan's shirt got shredded in a fight.

"I'm not giving you a fucking cent of my Onlyfans money," Logan would grunt as he continues fighting.

"That's unfair! I'd be the best photographer out there, you need to pay me my fair share! This is a worker's rights violation!"

"Yeah, well, I'm the pornstar. I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting, you aren't entitled to shit."

And everyone would be like???? Did The Wolverine have an Onlyfans? Since when? And where could they find it—

It'd be funny to see them tear down the self-esteem of a villain together as they fought them.

"You look like Simon Cowell got dipped in a vat of acid and then grew out a mullet and got it cut by a 5-year-old on America's Got Talent just because their mom died of cancer," Wade would laugh and point at their appearance.

"That's being generous. At least Simon Cowell was attractive. More like a fucking muppet," Logan would add on.

And then they'd fight over whose interpretation was correct while the villain just stood there and took out a mirror to look at themselves because?? They didn't think it was that bad?? (It was.)

It'd actually give them the edge in fights because they'd baffle the villains so much. They'd either make them pissed off at not being taken seriously and therefore more sloppy, or just make them insanely self-conscious. Win-win.

Eventually, word on the street got around that Wolverine and Deadpool were a brutal duo. Verbally. There'd be villains telling stories about how they were disrespected and maybe an emotional support club "Fought Deadpool and Wolverine and survived on the outside but died on the inside."

They'd be a peak comedy duo that would become notorious for their chemistry (both in their fighting style and commentary).

assutee
7 months ago

Guess I also have feminine urges then

assutee - Assutee
assutee
7 months ago

I feel less and less people are able to tell art and artist apart and I think it's kind of sad. Nothing else to add to the statement above.

It’s okay to care about things.

It’s Okay To Care About Things.

These past couple of days i’ve been noticing that a great part of our fandom is being relentlessly shamed for still loving Good Omens and not wanting it to get cancelled, and I thought i’d share my feelings about it, as I myself have been receiving hateful messages and comments because of it.

First and foremost: many people who judge don’t seem to be able to understand the power of fiction. Fiction is the art of translating reality through magical lenses and making it easier to deal with. It’s something that brings people hope, joy, comfort and brings them together even if they’re thousands of miles apart. Fiction is a shoulder to cry on, a portal to escape through and a friend to rely on. Fiction is magic in its own way, and it can (and has!) change the world in countless ways. Whether you have a happy, fulfilled and busy life or you are going through a rough patch, fiction is always there to help you navigate your own journey, and that’s why it means so much to so many people.

Secondly, it’s important that people fully understand that we do not necessarily associate our favorite pieces of fiction with the creators behind them. After JKR and all of the newly outed zionists, it’s becoming more and more clear that art can be appreciated for itself, and not tied to the person who brought it to life. Sometimes, shitty unforgivable people can make incredible things. And, as long as you don’t support or defend these people, it is okay for you to care about things important to you. It’s okay. You aren’t bad for loving something that has brought you comfort and joy.

Besides, there’s a certain power in taking things back. In looking at the person who made it and saying “this is mine now, and you are not going to ruin it for me”. And that is exactly why so many of us want this show to go on. We all want Gaiman fired. He himself has offered to step back because he is not his art and that story isn’t his anymore. It’s ours. Going on without him would only prove that, and it is okay to root for the show to survive after all that has happened. We are human, and humans need fiction. We need our little bit of magic, and that is perfectly okay.

And lastly, I would like to say that I believe in all the allegations. Even if there’s a chance of it being untrue, it’s not in my nature to doubt victims or to take someone’s side blindly just because I think they are good at their jobs. I believe his victims, I want him to pay for his crimes and I would never, ever support him. You can feel both things: despise for him and love for what he’s created alongside Terry Pratchett. You can want both things: for him to go to jail and for the show to go on in spite of him.

It’s okay to feel how you feel, to love what you love and to be vocal about it. It’s okay to advocate for your favorite show, only you know what it means to you and why. If you need to talk, I am here, I see you and I understand.

I promise we’ll be okay. 🩷✨🫶🏻

Edit: this is meant to comfort the people who are dealing with this situation as well, please refrain from commenting negative things, this is one of those “if you want to judge, do it silently” kind of things. It’s okay to stop enjoying things after stuff like that comes out, but it is also okay to still love them and care about them. Thanks! ✨

It’s Okay To Care About Things.
assutee
7 months ago

Okay so I've seen multiple posts about how Logan wanted to save Wade bc of Love and I really appreciate it but I have to be the bad guy and at least bring another option in the ring:

Logan is completely depressed for ages, haunted by voices of his family and closest friends he "let die". He hasn't slept well in ages and is an absolute alcoholic to be able to just get through the day. He has no friends or even a single soul who is simply friendly to him.

Logan wants to die.

But Logan can't die.

So of course Wade is the person to change all that and bring light and hope into his life and he definitely did want to save him for Wades family - bc he still believes he has nothing to go back for and if Wade dies he is back where he started and he just doesn't want that. Nobody wants that.

So he has two options, since both of them believe this is the end either way:

Let Wade die alone (with the risk he may not be able to stop it, despite the fact he didn't even reach it alone but let's be honest he hammered against the door before he could even see that)

OR

Die with him - bc he wants to swap places with him / he has to be the one who dies / he'd rather tried than do nothing or run away like always /

This is his only chance.

Seriously. He's been alive for so so long. He's through so much and he knows if it goes bad he HAS to live forever and most people know that's more like a curse than a blessing. He has the chance to end all that. To choose right then and there. And he made that decision.


Tags
assutee
8 months ago

Please, potato, I need positive feedback for my job application

assutee - Assutee
assutee
1 year ago
assutee - Assutee
assutee
1 year ago

I'm a firm believer that Aziracrow will make up, HOWEVER I think Aziraphale will NEVER hear the end of it.

*500 years later: Aziraphale doing something accidentally* "Oops, sorry"

*Crowley, mockingly* "I fOrGiVe yOu"

*Sigh* "Crowley, I said I was sorry! Will you let it go, please?"

*Crowley, dramatically falling back on his chair, still doing the mocking voice* "cOmE wItH mE tO hEaVeN"

assutee
1 year ago

Okay so I was giggling at my phone in a kind of dirty way, like you do when you see something nice, right?

My Boyfriend was right beside me and he looked at me blank and said: Okay, so it either was that guy in a corset or Crowley. What was it?

And i freaking LOST it let me tell you

For understanding: I love @innovacorsetry and tried to get him to buy one multiple times

BONUS:

"Or it was Crowley IN a corset. Just tell me what it was now, stop laughing!"


Tags
assutee
1 year ago

The end of Good Omens S2 explained:

The End Of Good Omens S2 Explained:
assutee
1 year ago

Can you imagine what kind of belated fear Hastur must have had, after realizing "Crowley" was in fact immune to holy water and the spray bottle could have actually killed him?

Just saying, I would be sick to my stomach


Tags
assutee
1 year ago

I just realized that I NEED Crowley to wear black sweatpants and a simple black Tee in season 3.

Like he's so devastated he has lost his style for a short moment.

Just Crowley in comfy cloathing bc he needs the comfort - now that Aziraphale can't give him that anymore.


Tags
assutee
1 year ago

Maybe Aziraphale asked Crowley if he was still a demon in rome bc he was sure Crowley did a too-good thing for hell in the whole Job Story and then already had faith he could become an angel again

Like he's too good of heart to be a demon, surely heaven noticed their mistake somehow


Tags
assutee
1 year ago

I made some drawings for art class and I thought I can bundle this with my for-now-obsession.

So here you got a drawing I'd like to think Aziraphale made for his diary on a rainy day alone in the bookshop:

I Made Some Drawings For Art Class And I Thought I Can Bundle This With My For-now-obsession.

Tags
assutee
1 year ago

SPOILERS GO2

So I had a dream:

*Azi and Crowley discussing/ fighting after all the stuff that happened and they can talk in peace*

*crowley expecting an apology etc and nearly screamed at azi*

Azi: "but.. It was my First"

Crowley: "Wot -" (are you talking about now again?!)

Azi: "It was my first kiss, Crowley"

*silence*

Azi: "And you pressed it on me. Without- (asking me?) Without love. Just.. just fear.

Crowley looks at him with an untitled expression, not sure what to say. In his eyes, he gave him all the love he could ever give.

Azi: "Fear of being abandoned. Of being alone. Like you felt you always were."

Crowley wants to say something and his mouth opens, behind his glasses building up a small tear-

Azi: "But I was there. You were never completely alone. And you know that. *He gets quiet* I did not deserve that.

I- *voice shaking* forgave you for kissing me.. like this - (in a hurry, without content and with nearly only desperation).

Crowley: "You didn't even listen to me back then, huh?"

*He takes off the sunglasses, first time in presence of the angel since the kiss. But he doesn't look at him. He's cleaning them with a small peace of fabric - looking down, eyebrows raised*

Crowley: "I wanted you to be with me. You didn't quite listen, did ya? I had already lost you! In your angel head you were already decorating your new Office in Heaven! I-"

*fastly puts sunglasses back on to look at Azi. Sees him there - finally listening. He seems to be able to understand it this time.

He takes them off again. Eye meets eye*

Crowley: "Maybe I was desperate. I mean- who wouldn't, if.. ugh.. if maybe the. The love of your life, perhaps - I couldn't let you go. After all I knew, heaven didn't want to treat you right! - you didn't know what happened in heaven, what happened to Gabriel!"

And then my dream faded, I am sorry.

But I feel like this was an healing experience after the ending of Season 2.


Tags
assutee
1 year ago

This is my last straw for real

A little hopeful moment which I missed on the first watch, but which I think is so important. Nina and Maggie come to have their talk with Crowley. Now, we all know that Crowley is Maggie—yes, sure, Nina is sarcastic and suave and cool and calls Maggie angel—but it’s obvious that Crowley is Maggie and Nina is Aziraphale. Crowley even admits it himself in the very beginning of this conversation when he tries to justify meddling to get Maggie and Nina together:

A Little Hopeful Moment Which I Missed On The First Watch, But Which I Think Is So Important. Nina And

“Nina needed rescuing.” Yeah, you know who else always “needs rescuing”? Anyway, moving on.

Nina says she just got out of a relationship and it would be a disaster to get into another one right away. And then this happens:

A Little Hopeful Moment Which I Missed On The First Watch, But Which I Think Is So Important. Nina And

Nina says she hopes Maggie will still be around, but she knows she can’t ask Maggie to just wait while she figures out her own baggage. There's no guarantee. And then Maggie interjects—

A Little Hopeful Moment Which I Missed On The First Watch, But Which I Think Is So Important. Nina And

The parallel between Maggie/Nina and Crowley/Aziraphale is so intentional as to feel heavy handed. So what does it mean that we get this exchange in at this particular moment in the script—buried within the conversation which is the catalyst for Crowley confessing his feelings, occurring in the lull immediately before the spectacular dissolution of everything the first two seasons were building towards?

“We could have been us,” Crowley says. Crowley walks out of the bookshop. Crowley turns off their song in his car. Whatever tentative blooming thing has been building between him and Aziraphale for six thousand years appears to be very clearly over. Aziraphale presses the kiss to his lips and knows there is no guarantee they will ever have a chance to be together. There's no guarantee that Crowley will ever want to forgive him, that he will keep on waiting for him.

But.

There is.

assutee
1 year ago

You turned my crying into laughing

Hey guys, do you know if in the Spanish dub Aziraphale stays with Crowley?

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags