Reminds Me Of The Time I Met A Guy Who Got Stopped By The Police With A Car Full Of Baby Alligators.

First of all this is beautiful.

Second of all my first thought was “oh hey it’s Bruise-ifer” and I am going to joke hell now, ok bye.

Some fallen lucifer :( this was greatly inspired by the song 'Saints' by Echos - and by inspired I mean I listen to only that song while I was making this because it just fit the mood for me.

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

Also MFW I send a brief to my supervisor and get back an all-caps email saying “I TOLD YOU TO STOP PUTTING COMMAS OUTSIDE THE QUOTATION MARKS DON’T DO THAT AGAIN”

Me, seeing fucking spelling errors in my shit that has already been reblogged:

🤣 Honestly. Its always basic shit to. I type too fast.

You have no idea how much I enjoyed this post.

I want Mammon to come work on my dad’s old Barracuda with me, and then get a speeding ticket in it because fuck the police. If he can ride one of our Triumphs, I will accept his proposal regardless of how many backup singers he can get.

Maybe it doesn't help you, but I asked my Car Friend his opinions on the car inspo and he basically said the same things you did, including the mustang front, but he said "corvette vents" on the side instead of mentioning Porsche

😯 That's very helpful actually. Everytime I look at Mammon's car, I just cannot place the vents. The Porsche mention was more so directed at the body line/style of it starting from about the door back. BUT Corvette vents!! The vents on the side are very similar to the vents on the 1963 Z06 (I had to do a bit of research to see if any specific model of Corvette had extremely similar vents- and check it out below! It should be the 3rd car here lol)

It definitely has to have drawn inspiration from quite a few cars! And at least two of them, the Corvette Z06 and the late 60's Mustang Fastback, are from the 1960's. The Nissan Fairlady Z is from the 80's.

Now, I got to thinking because of this ask, and comparing all three of our possible inspirations to the original... and I had an idea. The rear quarter panel above the rear tires... they bump up into a real pretty curve and then go back down to meet at the back piece where the tail lights are. I'm not really seeing that in any of the three we have. But, ya wanna know what it started looking like? Ferrari has produced some cars with a similar bodystyle. The 4th car below is a 1974 Ferrari Dino 246 GTS, and it shows some serious curves that I dare say are present on the rear quarter panel at least! The front quarter panel curve seems to follow more closely with the Corvette, curving down into a Mustang front end. Now, just to point out because I like writing out details, the rear half of the Ferrari is little bit longer than the car I'm so insistent on placing. Which is interesting because Ferrari is known for their mid and rear engine vehicles. The 1974 Dino 246 GTS is a mid-engine vehicle, so even with the longer rear, it's still a bit short and more similar to Mammon's car. But, Mammon's car has a shorter rear end overall, looking like it's too short to support a rear engine or even a mid-engine. This info, combined with the longer front end really says it's gotta be a front engine vehicle. This is just some small trivia I'm writing down because it might help lol

At the end of the day, all I'm saying is that it draws some serious inspiration from beautiful cars and that Mammon's taste in vehicles really fits him perfectly. We've got some heavy classic car elements going on in my opinion, and usually classic cars are already highly valued. With two of these inspos seemingly being higher end sports cars *the Corvette and the Ferrari*, combined with possibly some gorgeous muscle *the Mustang*, and of course maybe the more affordable sports car (compared to a Ferrari and Corvette, cause hot damn those are some expensive cars) *the Nissan*, you can definitely say this car was an expensive purchase. Between the possible value of the car as potentially a collectors/classic car, and probably the price he paid for it, this car is 100% Mammon in my opinion.

It's definitely gorgeous and if it was real I'd 110% jump at the chance to get my hands on it, both to drive and to possibly work on it under the hood.

(Images, in order:

Mammon's car

80's Nissan Fairlady Z

Late 60's Mustang Fastback

1963 Corvette Z06

1974 Ferrari Dino 246 GTS)

Y’all need to see this Best Boy! I wonder if he would let me go for a ride 0w0

First brother to be my little pony-ed!

His cutiemark is just a dollar and a few bits, you can guess the talent. (☞͡͡°͜ʖ͡͡°)☞

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

If Elliot Page isn’t Sexiest Man Alive 2021 I will cut a bitch.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

And if you’re really worried about stress eating or being unhealthy during the pandemic, you can do better things than shit yourself silly after drinking whatever diet tea you saw on Instagram. Besides the fact that they don’t work, a lot of diet programs you find on social media will either harm you (because they’re extremely restrictive or call for taking some unregulated supplement containing hell knows what) or your wallet (because when you order a program they’ll steal your credit card number or sign you up for some autoship mess).

Go for a walk, do some yoga, play with a dog, make something healthy but tasty, like an omelet with veggies or pancakes with fruit (yeah, I love breakfast food, come at me bro). Doing these things might not even make you lose weight, but they will make you feel good.

Or engage in my favorite form of self care, dousing yourself in Vaseline and sliming around the floor while you play at being a slug.

You don’t owe it to anybody, at any time, and especially not during a global pandemic, to be a certain size or shape. You are making it through an unprecedented disaster and that makes you a certified fucking badass.

I love you all and I support you in doing whatever you gotta do, you rock star.

Diet companies will be hitting hard this year. Be prepared to hear repeated sentiments of “It’s time to get rid of that Quarantine 15” and “In these hard times, commit to taking care of yourself with healthy living and weight loss.”

This rhetoric is going to be everywhere. And due to the nature of modern advertising, the vast majority of it will be coming from people online who just look like they’re trying to share some good advice with the followers that they love so much. You’ll barely be able to see the money getting thrown at them from the weight loss industry.

Don’t reward them for using these manipulation techniques - Buying their products and losing weight isn’t going to make your year any better, or erase the stress of the pandemic, or be the first step in self-care.

Please please please see these ads for what they are - A way of preying on your insecurity and trauma in order to make money.

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

All their tiddies are bigger than mine ;_; but they could maybe wear one of my big sleep shirts for failed political campaigns that I get from thrift stores?

Mammon in a Perot/Choate 1996 shirt would be on brand af, I guess.

(also literally every time my husband - a foot taller and 120 lbs heavier than me - buys me clothes, he insists on going to the register by himself and asking the cashier how they think he’d look in the outfit. Send help plz)

You remember that trend where your favorite character wears your clothes?

He's trying to cover his tiddies, I don't know if that's clear