Yellow: How Old Were You Guys When You Found Out Santa Wasn't Real?

Green: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Purple: Thanks, it’s the trauma.

Chosen: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Dark, wearing shades: Rule one of destroying the world.

Dark: *does finger guns* You gotta look good while doing it.

Purple: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Blue: >:O language

Red: Yeah watch your fucking language

Yellow: Okay, who taught Red the fuck word?!

Green: 'The fuck word'.

Second: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Green: Oh my god they censored it

Purple: Say fuck, Second.

Red: Do it, Second. Say fuck.

Chosen: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Dark: Hey, Chosen.

Chosen: GODDAMNIT!

Red: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Chosen: It's April Fools Day.

Chosen: Trust no one and nothing.

Chosen: Just like any other day.

Blue: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

Chosen: I would never say that my Dark is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… Dark is a bitch and I love them.

Dark: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give The Dark Lord lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!