Req'd By @cows-wearing-sweaters

How cool would it be if we were totally gay and into each other?

you gay as fuck, not me

😎

I would never succumb (advisor mumbles in my ear) oh… it can be a sex thing? Well.. maybe I would succumb a little..

Maidens only desire the finest of knights. Like Guinevere, they lust after gallant Lancelot even when wed to the noble and kind Arthur. It's over, nay, it never began for us few who can not hope to rival their mythic Lancelot in physique nor fair face.

Today, I approached a fine lady on the road. She was clearly of noble lineage, or so it seemed by her clothing and soft features. I shared a few words with her and offered to allow her to ride my horse. Suddenly, her face twisted, and she objected, "Sir, I am all-ready promised to another."

Another! Who must this be, another Lancelot, no doubt! Tall and handsome with noble blood.

Once again, maidens have left me despondent. There is no romance for those of us whose faces are malformed like ogres. For they are as their nature wills it: wanton harlots in the presence of Lancelot, and barren virgins in the face of us virtuous yet physically cursed men.

I highly recommend trying to check on him in-person if you can; when I've gotten depressed and mentally unwell I usually self isolate + avoid interaction as much as possible and this could last for days or weeks. This is basically the opposite of what you actually need in that state. I assume the same is happening here. Some people might say it's disrespectful or whatever idk idc like people who are not doing well mentally need help and support; checking in on someone isn't the same as destroying boundaries.

So when your friend doesn't respond to 2 texts sent on 2 different days, when is a reasonable time to assume they either got a new phone number or they don't want to talk to you.

"It's too repetitive" It's my baby

OH SHIT HUMAN AFTER ALL IS 20 TODAY????? EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOO RIGHT FUCKING NOW

a masked fighter has won the ultimate heavenly battle tournament using 'cruel genie' style martial arts

while i’m here ig i’ll post this one too

I'm being completely fucking honest, it wasn't me this time. I think it's someone who likes motorcyclists as much as you do, because I have never experienced "the Spiral" when it comes to watching "silly motorcyclist dancing videos."

i can recommend looking at a few (max like 10 to prevent the Spiral) silly motorcyclist dancing videos to refresh the eyes, purify the heart, embolden the brain, and also water your crops (but also seriously wish you feel better)

Oh that "I'm going to search 7 chests at tilted towers" post was a joke following a trend of posts I've already seen, I'm doing alright! But I will watch silly motorcyclist dance videos just for fun, it's good for morale.

how do merchants even know your goods are stolen anyways. like if i find a nice shiny amethyst on the ground its perfectly good to sell to whatever merchant will buy miscellaneous objects but if i just so happen to find the amethyst in some nords satchel they can tell i obtained it through nefarious ways ?? but if i kill the same nord and THEN take the amethyst from his inventory its totally not theft and okay to sell to merchants ??? are they pro crime or not

when people say "I like your name" hehe thank you I made it