Handle Yourself With The Care And Love That You Yearn, You Do Not Deserve To Be Beat Up Over An Event

You have every right to heal and move past an event

You know at times we do overlook the simplicity of a word, and that further leads you to letting it hold the weight of the life on your shoulders. Mistake, not disappointment, failure, agony, disgrace- you know the rest you’ve said it to yourself time and time again without a doubt. Yes you have. Now think about it again, mis-take. You. Missed. A. Take. No more, no less.

I made a mistake a year and a half back, it wasn’t the kind of lie where you hide a bag of chips behind somebody’s back. It was the kind of lie that broke somebody’s trust in you. Eventually it starts to grow on you etching all the way through the small of your back, upto your spine and jamming into your skull, ultimately making you believe that you MUST NOT ever live this down.

You see a reminder is a receipt of your actions and consequences in an event, but what you might not see is that the ink on that paper dries with time, it will go away, there will be a time where you’ll pick it up and you’ll see absolutely nothing,no trace.

You are going to have endless opportunities to beat yourself up over something, but allow yourself to keep it to the short stuff, maybe a brain freeze, or when you miss your bus, a paper cut, biting your tongue when you’re too excited to speak even, so technically it’s all word v0m1t.Now I’m not here to snatch that away from you, you do that all you want, but what about that one time, that split second where you know the night is colder than usual, that split second where you’re more restless than ever, that split second where you’re twisting and turning and the air around you seems to be holding a grip on your breath, and you so desperately wish the night were warmer, if only a little, where you KNOW you’ve got nothing but yourself to hold onto?

Why would you abandon yourself? We know we’ve spoken to ourselves before, we know we’ve sat with ourselves before, but did you make an effort to reach out to that echo inside of you and hold it tight to keep it safe and sound from all the intrusive thoughts peeking through? To keep yourself warm?

Surely you’ve heard “You know what you did back there, and don’t you forget it. This time won’t be any different. I just KNOW you’re going to make the same mistake again, and if you’re too stubborn to risk it again? Who am I to stop you” but what about “you did what you did under the heat of your impulse, neither of us could’ve controlled it. It has been a while and you allowed yourself to let the event sink in with time, you were afraid, and I’m not saying what you did was right or wrong, it was understandable because you were afraid. Give yourself that validation to forgive yourself” you are LEARNING and LEARNING and you LEARN and you LEARN

And maybe that will be your taking your from it, no trophy, no award, no nothing, but your accountability, and your taking, now that’s some fancy stuff right there. I did not deserve to be beat up over an event that happened years back, but I was allowed to be afraid and to let myself feel the pressure, I was allowed to find a way, to BUILD a way out. You are allowed to channel your faith on a belief that pats you on the back and kisses your forehead because that was a very hard time, but you DO get to push through, you do not need permission. You have a RIGHT to.

You get to have just as much liberty as anybody out there who decides to put themselves forth and move forward, always

I don’t think anyone’s told you just how spotless a place your head is to plant a sprout, let me do you the honours

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

it’s ok to admit that it’s one of those moments where you’re going to have to hold yourself tight

The other day I was staring at the moon and it really got me thinking , do I have a charming personality -?? For her to get flustered and hide behind those clouds , the pink hue around her gave me an answer , October clearly had its fair share of goofiness with me

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

People I believe to be chaotic academia

Van Gogh

Listen to the man speak:

• I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process

• I would rather die of passion than of boredom

• I feel there's nothing more truly artistic than to love people

(He is my spirit animal and I don't accept any comments about it, it's not arguable)

HE PROBABLY LOST PART OF HIS EAR IN A SWORD FIGHT WITH GAUGING???

He painted this:

He looked like this:

JRR Tolkien

• Man came up with The Lord of The Rings during WAR

• And it's ALL a catholic analogy??? He was like "let's invent an entire universe just to yk write my thoughts about my faith (he was a hardcore catholic) and all the traumas of war" instead of just going to therapy?? If this is not chaotic academia I'm done.

• He got beef with Disney bc he already knew they were shady and wouldn't let them make a movie out of TLOTR, he said that he sincerely hated Disney movies

... I recognize his talent, but he has always seemed hopelessly corrupted. Although in most of the 'images' that come from his studies there are admirable or charming passages, the effect of all of them is unpleasant to me. Some have made me nauseous ...

Disney's name is not mentioned in that letter, but it refers to a trickster man who is willing to let the less experienced down, believed to have been in reference to Mary Poppins and the controversy over the PL Travers book adaptation. — Javier Flores for IGN

• Literally invented a language. Literally. Like. For real.

Saint Lawrence

• Guy was grilled alive and said "I'm well done on this side. Turn me over!" and now he's the patron saint of barbecues, cooks, chefs and comedians.

Do you really need any other reason

It is said that Lawrence gave the church’s treasures to the poor and the sick before his arrest

"One of the seven deacons of the city of Rome under Pope Sixtus II who were martyred in the persecution of the Christians that the Roman Emperor Valerian ordered in 258"

And I believe that anyone who has faith is a rebel, so great for him, mostly when being persecuted and discriminated — So Chaotic Academia

I won't stop romanticizing religion freedom? Religion is chaotic academia and you won't ever change my mind

Apparently very smart and sassy but also very kind so

Sherlock Holmes

• ??? Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you.

• Messy af

• and a genius

• I was broken when I was told he didn't exist

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know >>>>

Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.

Da Vinci

• the definition of why do one thing

• again, messy af:

• crazy man vibes

• painter, anatomist, architect, paleontologist, artist, botanist, scientist, writer, sculptor, philosopher, engineer, inventor, musician, poet and urban planner

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

"I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

"Just as food eaten without appetite is a tedious nourishment, so does study without zeal damage the memory by not assimilating what it absorbs."

"Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master."

the screen of my laptop literally lights up every time I plug in the charger I could’ve sworn I heard it SING “so this is love mmm alas the light of my life has come home” EVEN THE KEYBOARD HEATS UP AND THE COOLER JUST LOSES ITS COLLECTIVE SHIT and I have to coo in her keys saying “down girl, easy.”

The door to the summer garden (2020)

You can encourage someone to believe that they can stand right back up, but not that they must always be standing regardless of how hard they’ve been hit. You need rest just as much as you need to take a stand. You have it in you to counter an issue even after something has not turned out well, but you also have to remember to sit down every once in a while because you’re not supposed to be standing all the time to fight a battle. You’re not supposed to be on guard with a sword for a hand to come at anything that goes your way. You could be sleeping, confiding in someone, baking, drawing, crying, and you’re still fighting it all the time, it isn’t the action that defines your strength, it’s your will from within that keeps you going and rooting the belief that you can, and you very much will once you’ve got your gold fish bars up and you’ve fed your cats and taken a power nap and had that bath and that milkshake and you get my point :) it doesn’t have to be so rough and tough on the exterior all the time. The clouds could be someone’s cushioned haven, but they’re still capable enough of bringing upon a storm, so what if they’re having their own time in a picnic with some rainbows and perhaps a little drizzling here and there? Let them be!