Heart (n)

250116

2/100 days of productivity

song of the day: me gustas tu- manu chao

very tiring day today, i regret not taking an afternoon nap. but quite productive! i came back from my 8:30 pm lab to find the power out which was quite fun. gone were my plans of crashing right on my bed and i proceeded to drag myself to the library. it is now 10:30 pm and apparently the power is back so i'll crawl up the hill back home once i finish up my chemistry notes!

research: halfway through editing my article. only one body paragraph left to rewrite.

academic: did calculus until my brain exploded. physics was very fun and the fire alarm fortunately did not go off this time. my ta for my 2 hour long calculus tutorial is not so endearingly clueless so needless to say i will not be attending calculus tutorials anymore.

self care: actually didn't do too much today and i am very very tired. but i am in surprisingly good spirits considering everything that has happened today! i really like this "library": it is actually the basement of our math building, nicknamed "the dungeon", but i love the atmosphere. photo attached below!

250202

17/100 days of productivity

song of the day: two- bbno$

over 8 hours of studying for chemistry today! i did so many practice problems my brain is barely working now. just finishing up a physics discussion assignment because i completely forgot about it... oops. made a little list of concepts to review tomorrow.

my ceiling light has been out for the past 3 days and my room is literally freezing... good thing i went apartment hunting for an hour instead of studying today.

tomorrow: going to an 11 hour conference but i think i'll leave early to study for my midterm.

Love at first meow

I yearn for so much.

Winter is cold for those who do not have warm memories

250108

song of the day: metamodernity- vansire

very chilly day today. my life flashed before my eyes too many times to count. why is my campus on an icy hill.

research: finished citations for my article and submitted it for editing. started the outline for my next article. bugged my team about finding our introduction for our paper (it has been over a month). sent out a few emails to profs.

academics: finished some online lab training courses for my upcoming synthetic biology lab workshops. am very excited!

selfcare: learned a little bit about game design. i know next to nothing about coding but i have to learn it eventually. ordered myself a very nice and comforting hot meal.

tomorrow's goal: i need to start doing reading assignments before i fall behind. i'll try to finish my pre labs before labs start next week.

notes: i didn't post for the past few days as i was quite stressed about my program. i was debating transferring to engineering, even transferring to another school. but i've figured it out so it's all good now.

250119

4/100 days of productivity

song of the day: L no theme- hideki taniuchi

stayed in bed until 3 pm recovering from last night. eventually got up to send out some emails and work on my physics problem set. finished my physics pre lecture readings. debating switching professors for my summer research but i'll have to speak with both. i guess today wasn't that productive but i had to distract myself and at least i got something done. i'll save the rest for tomorrow.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

250130

14/100 days of productivity

finished lab report, started my chemistry midterm review