I Yearn For So Much.

250127

11/100 days of productivity

song of the day: lune noire-isolde lasoen

pretty okay day today. starting to lose my motivation a little bit but i have midterms coming up. i have a chemistry one next week and i am very behind on content which is... unfortunate.

academic: finished my chemistry lab and my lab report. finished my calculus problem set. halfway finished my physics problem set. finished my chemistry quiz with a friend. attended an engineering symposium and got free pizza.

research: did some research into egg albumen adhesives. apparently our wet lab is using it as a control so i'll have to add the protocol to our paper. it was very interesting though.

selfcare: got myself a nice turkey apple brie sandwich today. i had no idea the sandwiches at my school's sandwich and soup bar were that good. it was so yummy i will be buying it again. sadly they close at 2 but i want to try other sandwiches.

tomorrow: i have to submit my appliation for a summer research position since it's due in 3 days. my school is having a club fair so i will be getting free stuff.

heart (n)

a hollowed thing. the size of a fist. made up of multiple layers of tissue, each peeling away as their part is played. the center of the circulatory system, the controller of life. essential. beats sharing, taking. made of glass-blown sculptural imperfection. a tapestry. woven stories, of spools of thread. stained in all the wrong places. an actor, one that cannot lie. a symphony of movement. yet to be tuned, a hesitant metronome. moderato, a drum hit 2.5 billion times, the ending note being all that the audience remembers.

sound the drum and let the act begin

moments

"My work, which I’ve done for a long time, was not pursued in order to gain the praise I now enjoy, but chiefly from a craving after knowledge, which I notice resides in me more than most other men” - Leeuwenhoek, 1716

250108

song of the day: metamodernity- vansire

very chilly day today. my life flashed before my eyes too many times to count. why is my campus on an icy hill.

research: finished citations for my article and submitted it for editing. started the outline for my next article. bugged my team about finding our introduction for our paper (it has been over a month). sent out a few emails to profs.

academics: finished some online lab training courses for my upcoming synthetic biology lab workshops. am very excited!

selfcare: learned a little bit about game design. i know next to nothing about coding but i have to learn it eventually. ordered myself a very nice and comforting hot meal.

tomorrow's goal: i need to start doing reading assignments before i fall behind. i'll try to finish my pre labs before labs start next week.

notes: i didn't post for the past few days as i was quite stressed about my program. i was debating transferring to engineering, even transferring to another school. but i've figured it out so it's all good now.

this is me by the way

Finished the Viktor piece in time for his birthday!

birth.

just read a modern au jayvik fic where viktor had a tumblr account and it kind of changed my brain chemistry. i have decided to post here from now on, documenting my life and goals. and also in part to practice my writing. i figured that having this to document things is loads better than venting to chatgpt, even if only one person sees my posts. if i end up gaining a following, or if even one person is reading this, i appreciate you and thank you. may we all forge on through the journey called life and define and evolve to be the best version of ourselves together.

i simply adore the softness of winter. (i will be going back to icy uphill roads on campus in a week)

traveling across all of time and space with your eldritch horror boyfriend