Bagel Date 🥯

why y'all so obsessed with helping a man grow? go grow a plant sis

There’s something to be said, that even after twenty years, Penelope looks out the window, sees a storm, and says, ah yes, that must be my darling husband, pissing off the gods.

Epic AU

Odysseus: How many suitors are there? Servant: 128. Though, twenty of them formed a guard, after Antinous turned out to be a dick. Odysseus: *Thinking* Servant: Ten are away with the prince, the other ten are keeping guard over Penelope. Odysseus: Why? Servant: They're being bodyguards Odysseus: No, why did they come if they're not seeking the Queen's hand? Servant: Oh, they're trying to convince the Prince to marry their daughters. *Meanwhile* Guard #1: *Watching Telemachus with one of his friends* I'm starting to think the Prince might be swinging the other way. Guard #2: That's alright, I've got a son.

miles morales voice can you please take my itsy bitsy ass seriously

i've learnt that i can become homesick for people too

you go to college and no one wants to play warrior cats anymore. bitch we need to take back sunningrocks.

errands for mom

MY BABY BOY NEEDS LOVE AND ATTENTION

do you think mocking catholicism is funny

yes. next question

Some of you might think im just a sex obsessed freak. Well i am. Youre following a pervert. Have a nice day.