Had The Worst Conversation With A Leftist Who Turned Out To Be A History Professor Which Makes Even Worse.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inqusition!

Spanish Inquisition (1478 Colorized)

The last of us is so unrealistic, you're supposed to get cool ice powers duh.

Happy Pride fr

What if the Unknown is actually a health inspector to make sure the chocolate factory is up to code and has to hide in the walls, and willy wonka slanders his name because the health inspectors will shut down his factory for multiple health and safety violations.

Immediately after this, (and once Quincey was out of earshot), there was the expected huffing and puffing and I Am the Master of This Castle and These Mountains et cetera, et cetera.

Jonathan tried to ride it out in nodding noncommittal silence.

Mina, devoid of even a fraction of a fuck to give, agreed yes, of course he was. But out of curiosity, when was the last time he attended to anything to do with his title or its duties in the last, say, twenty years? She seems to recall someone of more maturity stepping in to manage every iota of the work while the Master of the Castle was busy with the terribly trying labor of, let her check her notes, strutting around being impressed with himself. Is it not so?

Dracula, doubly pissed, ready to erupt and go full Monster Mode, slipped into a fuming villain monologue--

And his voice cracked.

Jonathan was stone-faced, but white-knuckling his armrest. Mina's psychic laughter could shake the Carpathians. Quincey popped his head in to ask what's the matter, did something happen? Notably, with a pubescent pitch not that many octaves removed from the Count's.

That night was full of thunder and the next family dinner saw the Count grousing that he had no appetite tonight. Or the next. Not until he was iron grey, for some reason.

Jonathan, meanwhile, found his shaving kit mysteriously returned. Plus enough shaving lather to last a decade.

Consider this a cap to this bit of nonsense. Scruffy Winter Mode Jonathan has to get back to his clean-shaven self somehow.

Final apologies to @ibrithir-was-here, thank you for putting up with the shenanigans

(Note: If you haven't jumped on the Blood of My Blood AU, you're missing out. One of the tastiest Dracula Bad Ending stories-in-progress I've ever come across.)

Wait... That's not how the plot goes--

Aughra has slept with all the Skeksis, A L L. O f T H E M!!!!

ppl keep talking about Aughra x SkekMal but

while obviously that’s a thing,

what about Aughra x SkekOk?

she felt free to clean her eye in his bath, and when she saw *cough* certain details through that eye, she scoffed, “nothing has changed.”

Guys what if I made an MLP infection AU based off of bootleg toys /nsrs

They look like giant Burritos.

If you’re having a bad day, remember that in 16th century Baltic Germans dressed like this:

The heir would do that and you know it.