I Feel Like I Need A Change Of Environment. I Love My Mother, I Like My Room, It's Lovely, Spacious But

A bot just messaged me, advertising a sketchy dating site. I might have attracted the wrong energy lol

What do I have to do to attract a yandere?? Do I have to summon them with a ritual, bring a sacrifice??

Just realized that one of the main reasons I binge is because I have nothing else to look forward to than food in my life. I don't even fucking enjoy it, but I have nothing else.

I am one unnecessary and out of nowhere comment about my eating away from completely blowing off at my parents.

I'm so miserable all the time. Being alone, just in my room used to be my fun time, my comfort time, the time I lived for. But now I'm just miserable.

I'm less miserable in school then at after it ends. My days consist of wishing the current moment to end. But the near future is never any less horrible since im stuck in a circle of agony. And I can't get out.

This is supposed to be the best time of my life. But I feel like this, how tf is life gonna be like in the future. Worse obvs cause I haven't gotten better since I was like 11.

I wish my parents didn't love, wish I wasn't aware that me killing myself would destroy them. Wish I could just end me existence, at the end of the day that's what I want the most.

Funny how this is supposed to be the best time of my life, but I spend 97% of it being miserable, crying and hoping something would change, knowing that nothing ever will and that it will only get worse from now.

The fact that the thought of skipping the whole schoolday tomorrow just to go buy food and eat all day even comes to my mind, even though I have eaten more than I need today, is absolutely crazy.

Starting to cry as soon you stop into your home or room for no reason <<<<

I sat behind her in class and I saw a kpop stage vid on her recommended page 😳

What the fuck is wrong with my brain. I met the ppl in my uni course yesterday, one girl caught my eye, we spoke once.....and now my brain is cutting to lowkey romantic fantasies about her.

The fact that I acc have to resist the thought about skipping school just go and buy food is wild, cause the school in question is a short, nice and actually useful.

I've been starting to actually feel bored. My brain can't really even maladaptive daydream anymore, so my brain is just empty, nothing to look forward to, literally nothing. Except my death in like 80 years (I hope my parents live long), just waiting to wait and hurt more.