atp im convinced im made to be isolated from others. when i dont have particularly friends i have no problem going to classes and going thru my days without much distress. i have no problems socialising during group tasks and i make small talk but thats all. but if i get talking to a person in particular, outside of classwork, thru messages it quickly becomes too much and it causes me distress.
I wish there was a way for me to get interact with him. For me to even talk to him once. I have so little knowledge, so little perception of him in actuality, but my mind keeps thinking about him. So it's always just craving more to think about.
I want to die. My life isn't even that bad right now, days go by fine. But being in my body and mind is like the ultimate prison sentence, I want out. I wish to carve all my organs out and then my brain and lay it on a cold surface.
Not denying it anymore. I am manipulative! I am problematic! Love me!!
For my next obsession, I think it would be better if it was mutual.
My graduation is in a few days and I look so fucking fat in the dress. I want to stab myself in the stomach thru that ugly piece of trash. I also looked deeply miserable and sickly whilst trying it on today, which would at least look pretty if i was skinny, but since im not, it just looks disgusting. Now I'll have to work 3 days whilst starving. Whilst there's also 6 different stress sources chewing on me.
Does anybody know any simple love spells?
I went to practice driving w my dad for the first time and when I came home it turned out we had a lot of bananas that were gonna go bad soon so I made bananabread out of over 30 bananas. Tried out like 5 different recipes. Only bad thing is I got work early tomorrow and I slept little last night aswell so tomorrow might be a hard one.