My Brain Is My Biggest Enemy. I'm Randomly Sitting In School, Not Even Hungry And Then Out Of A Sudden

I am one unnecessary and out of nowhere comment about my eating away from completely blowing off at my parents.

I feel like I'm one gained kg away from taking an hammer to my Jaw so I couldn't eat solid foods again.

I took a nap during the day and now I can't sleep. I'm so bored and just want to sleep, but I Literally can not fall asleep.

When ur eye make up turned out so nice and it stayed the whole day and would've stayed another if you hadn't started crying randomly when you planned to go to sleep early.

Do I actually like him or do I wish someone would make me feel literally anyhting else else other than sonder, hopelessness , anger, dispear, misery or just emptiness??

I guess we'll never know.

I cant cope with having to go to work. Maybe if I could do some physical work outside, but only places available are customer service. I can't cope with having to work as a server or a cashier till I get my degree. How do people do it, why do people do it. Why do they live.

atp im convinced im made to be isolated from others. when i dont have particularly friends i have no problem going to classes and going thru my days without much distress. i have no problems socialising during group tasks and i make small talk but thats all. but if i get talking to a person in particular, outside of classwork, thru messages it quickly becomes too much and it causes me distress.

Saw a girl with the tiniest waist and a butch gf at work today. Idk if I even like girls like that, but have never wanted to be someone so bad in a while.

NOOOO!!! A GIRL IVE BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH OVER THE MONTHS JUST TOLD ME SHE HAS AN ED. NOW MY BRAIN WILL AUTOMATICALLY START SEEING HER AS COMPETITION, START HYPERANALYZING EVERYTHING I AND SHE DO AND SAY AND ITLL START TO SPITE HER FOR BEING SKINNIER THAN ME.

Ngl him watching me from afar, keeping track of who I talk with, clenching his fists in jealousy, finding out as much information as he can abt me and yearning for so much more and finally ploting his way into my life would be so cute.