I Swear I'm Trying To Change Whatever's Wrong With Me.
I swear I'm trying to change whatever's wrong with me.
It gets hard when the happier I am the less ok I feel.
When the more I let myself hug my friends the more being touched makes me want to hurl.
The more I care about everyone else, the less I care about myself.
The less I let them hate themselves the more I hate myself.
I try to work outside in but It feels more like turning myself inside out.
Why is it so hard for me to like myself half as much as I love everyone else?
Why is it so difficult to care about myself yet so easy to take care of everyone else?
Why do I feel like I'm giving myself away
Why do I feel like they hate me
Why do I feel so hopeless
Why do I feel so lost
Why can't I feel anything...?
Please, for the love of god, let me smile and breathe at the same time
Let me actually feel all those emotions I was promised
Someone make me less selfish.
More Posts from Buttonstheturtle and Others
A kinda cute/kinda creepy digital thing a did with my Oc: Monti😁
She only has a mouth, but wears a magic/tech. Hairbow that helps her show emotions!
Dat nurse 'bout to get a whole-ass redesign.
Be ready.💉👩⚕️🐇
Drew a bunny girl again…
I seem to like designing rabbit-based characters.
Just by going off of the fact that I have a lot of them:
-Lucy -Raina -Jinger -Aster E.B. -Mo(temp. name) -Crowin(only male rabbit based OC) -Ms Nursey(this one, also a temp. name)
Also, at least half of these are aliens of some sort or another, 🐰🌙👽
What was I doing again?
Friend: *kills hinself*
My fucking, shit-brain: death? You like death?? You want some dreams of death??? Have some nightmares of people being mauled or run over! Have nightmares of your past friends and old teachers chasing you while tying to kill you!! Have a nightmare of your mom planing to kill you!!!
You LOVE death right?
Me: I'd rather die from exhaustion then sleep.
Brain: not good enough? Wanna imagine your nephew being murdering by someone gouging his eyes out?? Wanna imagine him falling down some stairs and smashing his head open??? I can do that! I'll even make you think about him being kidnapped!! Or maybe even just him suffocating in his sleep!!!
DONT YOU JUST L O V E DEATH???
Ugghhh
Aaaaaaaah, I used up 4 pages of my journal last next while feeling shitty.
Regrrrrreeeeeettt thaaaaaaat sooooo muuuuuccchhhhh, uggggghhhhhhhhhhh
Whatever,, though, because scribbling mimicked scratching, so I did that instead, scribbling, I mean.
Drawing I did of myself earlier today! As you can see, my url includes two of my many obsessions: buttons and turtles!🐢
I don't think I've posted a drawing of these two yet! Lemme just- fix that real quick! This is Selina Kingsley and Franklin Amdras-Simel! As you can see: my babies are growing up and I love them very much(despite the fact they don't actually exist)!
Atlas is very sleepy and I love him.
Look at this funky dude, I love him-
Found a funky little dude at a flea market the other day
Me too!
im dropping out of school to become a full time piece of shit
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buttonstheturtle reblogged this · 7 years ago -
buttonstheturtle reblogged this · 7 years ago
21, he/they, ace- not very interesting and rarely post(let alone anything good)
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