I Hate My Diagnosis.

Just finished rewatching TVPM and TVPS and FUCK, did I almost cry!

"Cause you are the part of me that makes me better wherever I go... so I will try not to cry, but no one needs to say goodbye---!"

"BACK TO WITCHES AND WIZARDS AND MAGICAL BEASTS!

TO GOBLINS AND GHOSTS AND TO MAGICAL FEASTS!

ITS ALL THAT I LOVE, AND ITS ALL THAT I NEED; AT HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS!

BACK TO SPELLS AND ENCHANTMENTS,TO POTIONS AND FRIENDS,

TO GRYFFINDOR, HUFFLEPUFF, RAVENCLAW, SLTHERIN!

BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE OUR STORY BEGINS!

AT HOGWARTS

HOGWARTS!"

So, tranfering stuff from my old phone ended up making some bombin' ass edits to a few shit photos I took over a year ago, enjoy the strange improvements👌

-Buttons!🐢

At least my nephew likes my cooking. I made mashed potatoes!

Look at this funky dude, I love him-

Found a funky little dude at a flea market the other day

Why did I make this as a post...???

Oh shit I have therapy today!

Ps: friend(you know who you are) if you ever want to hang out feel free to just text me!

I'd love to hang out sometime and I don't have anything else to do, anyways, so you don't need to worry that I might be busy! I love you!

I started listening to WTNV...

And I just need to ask two quick questions:

1. How is Cecil not dead/why haven't any of the things he's not supposed to talk about (management, the shape in the park, etc.) killed him yet????

2. Does Carlos not listen to the radio or is he very much aware that Cecil is completely infatuated with him and just kinda goes with it, 'cause that's a mood??? (I think I've seen people saying they get married? And I'm like?? Cecil dreams actually coming true??? What????)

I should probably point out that I've only listened to the first 6 episodes...

Gonna get my haircut tomorrow!!! Really excited!

I'm lying.

To you,

To myself,

Maybe everybody...

What if I'm lying to myself?

What if everything I am isn't true?

What if I'm just acting?

What if I don't really love you?

What if it doesn't matter-

How badly I want to?

What if I'm a liar?

And don't even belong here?

What if I'm wrong?

And have been tricking everyone?

What if I've been manipulative?

And stringing everyone along?

What if all that I am-

Isn't even real?

What if I'm just fooling you?

And that isn't how I feel?

What if I've been grasping-

At something that isn't there?

What if I've been faking?

And I don't really care?

Cause zoning out

And talking loud

Are all that seems to fit.

What if that's why being gay

And being scared

And being nice

And being aware

And trying to be kind

Never really made sense

When I'm just going to die.

And I thought writing this would

Make me feel a little better

But inside it feels like peeling off

Almost every layer

And finding nothing inside

Of me

But a skeleton, blood, and guts

What if I'm just a liar?

And that's all I ever was?

Because I can't do this by my own renown

And saying I'm not gay

Feels like I'm letting myself down.

Feels like greeting a stranger.

Feels like the opposite

Of letting everyone I care about

D

O

W

N.

And what if that's who I should be?

What's if unlike me-

That's who they should see!

Perfect

Perfect

Perfect

Don't let anybody down-

You have to hate yourself to be happy!

While just wearing a frown

I feel myself getting down

From this pedestal I built

Maybe this-

A liar

A fake

A disappointment

A mistake

What if...

What if that's all that I can hope to me?

I just hope I won't get worse.

1, 2, 3.

1. Started: preschool

Left: 6 weeks into 4th

2. Started: 6th grade

Left: halfway into 9th

3. Started(late): 9th(repeat)/10th

Leaving: after attending the 1st week we have back from winter break.

I'll be leaving soon.

Hopefully to get my GED, and

Hopefully then: college

Maybe get a degree-

In art

Or in psychology.

Hopefully

I find a job

And learn to drive-

Or at least ride a bike.

But

No matter what-

I'll be leaving.

...

I'm sorry.

Pictures of an egg I painted on Easter a while ago! I realised that I hadn't posted these so I thought I'd do that😁