As Uncommon Majors

THE SIGNS AS DRAGONS

Aries: Black dragon that is obsessed with death and destruction, quick to anger. Active mostly at night, has poison breath and usually lives in swamp areas. Has slimy scales and appears skeletal and corpse like. A sign of death and appears when a sick person is about to pass.

Taurus: Pale yellow dragon. Herbivore, but will not hesitate to kill an evil human. They are the primary protector of women and children. Can be the size of a Golden Retriever, are useful in the household and are peaceful. Breathes a universal medicine that smells like lemons and loves people and shiny objects.

Gemini: Green forest dragon. Highly intelligent dragon, can communicate with humans. Similar to the snake in Garden of Eden, it is cunning and malevolent. Breathes chlorine gas and has horns atop his head to be able to disguise themselves.

Cancer: Silver dragon. The most sensitive dragon and the savior of the wounded, homeless, and helpless. They have mercury blood and breath, making it poisonous to inhale and touch, but their scales are often used in healing creams that they create.

Leo: Holographic dragon that is blinding to the eye, this is their primary defensive trait. They spend lots of time luxuriating on their own and live with a few others of their kind. Known for attacking other dragons and has arsenic laced breath.

Virgo: White snow dragon. Intelligent but hermit dragon, very afraid of human. Has frostbite breath. Blends in with snow and preys on larger mammals and lone humans. Dislikes include sunlight. Their scales are water repellant.

Libra: Bronze dragons. Obsessed with humans and their culture. Lives close to the ocean and has extremely hot, lava like breath. Known for killing tyrants and criminals, similar to the Blue Dragon. Has a human-like sense of good and evil.

Scorpio: Purple exotic dragon. First bred in Asia, these dragons are the most mysterious. Scales regularly shed and are used in making perfumes and sex oils. Breathes a sedative gas to knock out people, then torture and eat them. They are beautiful, but if you see them, you will be dead very soon.

Sagittarius: Gold dragons. Lives in villages and is a defender of the common good. Has been known to eat criminals or bad town leaders. Sometimes leaves villages to go on quests to help others. Has catfish whiskers and each of their scales is worth millions of dollars. Breathes blue fire.

Capricorn: Red dragon that guards jewelry, gold, and other precious gems. Carnivorous and has a forked, long tongue like a snake. Found by volcanoes and medieval castles. Villages sacrifice young virgins to them. Breathes fire. Can be ridden into battle by someone worthy.

Aquarius: Blue desert dragon. Tends to attack humans that are greedy, vain, or have committed a heinous crime. Causes sandstorms by flapping their enormous wings. Breathes fire and dust particles. Although it lives in the desert, it spends its time admiring its reflection at an oasis.

Pisces: Water, shapeshifting dragon. Can be as long as 100 meters, or as small as a nurse shark as needed. Spends lots of time lurking on the ocean floor and admiring the way the water catches the sunlight. Breathes boiling water and scales are freezing to the touch. Peaceful, eats mostly krill. Responsible for the foam that is often found on shorelines.

type of humor

aries: deadpan

taurus: knock knock jokes

gemini: self-deprecating

cancer: juvenile 

leo: hyberbolic

virgo: morbid

libra: highbrow

scorpio: sarcasm 

sagittarius: puns

capricorn: memes

aquarius: stand-up

pisces: situational irony

The signs as weird things I've seen on google

Aries: I think I just had a poop child. I legit think I lost 4 kilos.

Taurus: Are there people who are sexually attracted to Pokémon?

Gemini: I hate it when I'm studying and a velociraptor throws bananas at me.

Cancer: I just went outside and heard someone boo. Update: it was my wife.

Leo: NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER.

Virgo: Can Jesus microwave a burrito?

Libra: What are these strawberries doing on my nipples I need them for my fruit salad.

Scorpio: I like to tape my thumbs together and pretend I'm a dinosaur- what did you expect? Some freaky bondage? Nah my mum doesn't approve of that soz.

Capricorn: What do I do if a ginger kid bites me?

Sagittarius: What would a chair look like if your knees were bend the other way?

Aquarius: Why can't I own a dwarf Chinese person?

Pisces: Sometimes when I'm alone I pretend I'm a carrot.

Aries ~ Goddess of Dawn, Illumination and Awakening Taurus ~ Goddess of Earth Gemini ~ Goddess of Learning Cancer ~ Goddess of Lunar Mysteries Leo ~ Goddess of Sacred Love Virgo ~ Goddess of Healing and Curatives Libra ~ Goddess of Divine Feminine Power Scorpio ~ Goddess of the Dead Sagittarius ~ Goddess of Prophecy and Mythology Capricorn ~ Goddess of Divine Law and Order Aquarius ~ Goddess of the Cosmos and Astrology Pisces ~ Goddess of the Night

-C.

[art: Vaughn Pinpin]

Reblog if you honestly have NEVER sent anon hate.

It pains me that only 14,000 people can honestly reblog this

THE SIGNS AS GREEK GODDESSES

Aries: Athena, Goddess of War

Taurus: Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty

Gemini: Hebe, Goddess of Youth

Cancer: Selene, Goddess and Titan of the Moon

Leo: Hera, Queen of Goddesses

Virgo: Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest

Libra: Themis, Goddess of Divine Justice

Scorpio: Persephone, Goddess of the Underworld

Sagittarius: Artemis, Goddess of Hunt and Nature

Capricorn: Nike, Goddess of Victory

Aquarius: Hectate, Goddess of Magic and Witchcraft

Pisces: Eos, Goddess of Dawn and Hope

greek mythology fancasting: richard madden as boreas

Currently trying to find a song, heard it on Home and Away and I really like it but no luck finding it online. I know a good chunk of the opening lyrics, but when I type them in online it comes up empty. Can anyone help?

Ways the signs die in the Sims

Aries: Tried building a fire and got burned alive

Taurus: Stayed too long at the sauna

Gemini: Smashed by a vending machine

Cancer: Died of hysterical laughter

Leo: Got rejected and died of embarrassment

Virgo: Electrocuted while trying to repair the TV

Libra: Killed by flies after letting the dishes pile up

Scorpio: Tried doing the watery grave trick and drowned

Sagittarius: Exhaustion from too much physical activity

Capricorn: Killed by a Cow Plant while milking it

Aquarius: Poked around in a tomb and got mummy-cursed

Pisces: Had a satellite fall on them while stargazing

Please don't copy to other sites without permission. I done this piece as while ago at Christmas, only just feel comfortable sharing it. Please let me know what you think