Samelia Pondchester

things the signs do when they're home alone

aries: sings at the top of their lungs into a hairbrush

taurus: just chills w/ a blanket and a good movie

gemini: invites the squad over for a party

cancer: bakes ALL THE THINGS

leo: wears a blanket around the house like a cape

virgo: organizes/cleans up everything with no interferences

libra: tries out makeup tutorials and tries on outfits

scorpio: summons satan probably

sagittarius: makes a big blanket fort

capricorn: gets work done in peace

aquarius: digs out a telescope and tries to communicate with aliens

pisces: travels to another dimension for a few hours

The Signs As Emotions You Feel But Cant Explain

Aries: Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone. Taurus: Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable. Gemini: Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place. Cancer: Liberosis: The desire to care less about things. Leo: Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self. Virgo: Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time. Libra: Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head. Scorpio: Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet. Sagittarius: Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like Capricorn: Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own. Aquarius: Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore. Pisces: Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Source for Words

In a Crowded Arkham Cafeteria

Harley: I can’t find my puddin’ :(

Riddler: Hang on one sec

Riddler: *clears his throat and shouts out loud*

Riddler: RIDDLES ARE MUCH BETTER AND MORE INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING THAN JOKES!

Joker: *in the distance* The fuck did you just say?!

Riddler: Found him.

THE SIGNS AS CAVEMEN

Aries: Me Tarzan. Probably first to try to kill a wooly mammoth. Or ride a T-rex into battle.

Taurus: Sat around giving orders. Would try to ration food for others, but would ultimately eat the most themselves.

Gemini: First to invent language, develop a writing system.

Cancer: Momma of the tribe. Overprotective, and a matriarch.

Leo: Would skin cheetahs and other large animals to wear at all times. Leader of the pack.

Virgo: Would observe the world around them and attempt to take note of it. Probably first person to chart the stars.

Libra: Came up with a judicial system and language system with Gemini.

Scorpio: Most violent hunter, even as a female.

Sagittarius: Speaks in grunts, probably first person ever to have ADHD.

Capricorn: Would plot hunting strategies.

Aquarius: Resident cave artist.

Pisces: First person to discover fire, and incidentally, first person to get struck by lightning or eaten by a large animal.

The signs as learning types

Aries: Musical 

Taurus: Naturalistic 

Gemini: Fuck You 

Cancer: Intrapersonal 

Leo: Verbal-Linguistic 

Virgo: Interpersonal 

Libra: Bodily-Kinesthetic 

Scorpio: Murder

Sagittarius: Visual-Spatial 

Capricorn: Logical-Mathematical 

Aquarius: Intrapersonal

Pisces: Crying

The Signs as Mythical Creatures

Taurus: Earth Dragon Gemini: Deep sea mermaid Cancer: Unicorn Leo: Fire Dragon Virgo: Forrest Nymph Libra: Fairy Scorpio: Siren  Sagittarius: Pegasus  Capricorn: Phoenix Aquarius: Shallow water Mermaid Pisces: Pixie Aries: Centaur 

Zodiac Signs as Monsters!

♈ – Aries (The Ram) March 21 - April 19

♉ – Taurus (The bull) April 20 - May 20

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Lying Styles and Fibs Each Zodiac Sign is Notoriously Known For

Nobody is perfect and we can all agree that everyone has their weak spots. While some of us have a great poker face like the natural storyteller Gemini or the straight forward Aries, who prefers to be honest, it’s best to acquaint ourselves with our flaws. If you are a tad irritated by a loved one and their style of fibbing, keep reading to confirm your speculations. 

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THE SIGNS AS WEIRD LAWS IN THE U.S.

Aries: It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (Ohio)

Taurus: It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. (Indiana)

Gemini: It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (Pennsylvania)

Cancer: Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (Arizona)

Leo: Prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates. (California)

Virgo: It is illegal to sell one’s eye. (Texas)

Libra: It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he/she got hurt in your house.(Michigan)

Scorpio: It is against the law to have sex with a corpse. (Illinois)

Sagittarius: Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol. (Massachusetts)

Capricorn: The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (New York)

Aquarius: It is illegal not to drink milk. (Utah)

Pisces: A person must be at least eighteen years old to play a pinball machine. (South Carolina)

Sadness expressions of the Zodiac Signs

Aries : Rage, impulsivity and failure to get worked up about the things they normally do, oppositional but with less verve and energy

Taurus : Isolation, binge eating and lethargy, a sense of ‘me against the world’, less patience, easier to enrage

Gemini : Silence, nerves, over thinking, easily distractible and seems ‘elsewhere’; they are fairly intolerable to sadness they tend to detach/dissociate from feelings after a short while

Cancer : Teariness, neediness, isolation, binge eating, crying after insignificant events, stomach aches, a feeling of separation from everyone around them

Leo : Obvious displays of stress, they become like a wound up string and as if they are on the brink of a nervous break down. Short tempered and needy (only around close friends/family) and become martyred

Virgo: Isolation, heightened compulsions (cleaning, washing hands more etc;), unresponsive in conversations, at time blunt and more oppositional Libra : General feeling of instability/moodiness, reduced urge to socialize/be with friends, hopelessness, a feeling of being disliked/rejected by everyone, you can sense them ‘trying’ to be happy and keep composed

Scorpio : Isolation, opposition, hostility and violent mood swings. Intense melancholy with at times delusions and paranoia. Thoughts even scary to them, a sense of ‘me against the world’.

Sagittarius : Lethargy, escapism (substance use etc;), uncharacteristically more serious and tense, less tolerance, feelings of worry when thinking into the future

Capricorn : Demotivation, lethargy, hopelessness, over thinking, they seem tense and ‘overly alert’, hyper vigilant, force themselves to ‘go through the motions’, nothing impresses them

Aquarius : Uneasy, harder to ‘reach’; as if they are far away. Silence, isolation, detachment, even though they try to appear happy. Distracted

Pisces : Teariness, anxiety, isolation, when they feel sadness they tend to feel ‘all at once’, nerves, obsessive/ruminating thinking, remembering everything bad that ever happened to them, crying over insignificant events

More Fun Zodiac Facts Here