Okay But A Fumbling, Awkward And Rambling Slightly Older (Bill Hader) Richie Trying To Hit On A Slightly

Imagine if Eddie decides to go to a masseuse for his back and shoulders from work and the only person working that day is a goofy flirty guy named Richie.

At first Eddie thinks this guy won't do a good job until he finds the right spots that have have moaning and whining and Richie is like "Jeez, Eds, we haven't even gone on a date yet"

Okay but imagine adult!reddie babysitting one of their friend's kid and they take them to a carnival or whatever and Eddie sees how great Richie would be as a dad and maybe he doesn't need to worry so much if they were to adopt their own...

Can you imagine being a fan of Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier the comedian, who made jokes about women and his dick but then went on hiatus and came back with the paparazzi showing images of him being affectionate towards another man and then they get married and Richie looks incredibly happy and all of the sudden you're a bigger fan?!

Absolutely from the driver's seat Richie would turn the passenger seat heating on for Eddie just so he could say "Ooh, gotta warm up my snacc."

he may seem like a terrible, terrible prick, you know, but he's actually really fun

Can someone write a modern!AU of Reddie as twitch streamers and how naturally their audience ships them and they either are already together secretly or not, or get together??????

Sure I've read fics where Richie started out as a 'bully' with Bowers... but what if Eddie moved to Derry and is a distant cousin of Henry and absolutely h a t e s that people treat him differently, like he'll set Henry on them, but at least there's the cute guy who likes to play at the arcade with him

comfrey definitely had to endure greg talking about tom for the entirety of their 2.5 dates

missing them lowest key