"Why Do You Ask?"

One of my favorite responses in my Social Interaction Toolkit is:

"Why do you ask?"

Allistic people tend to ask one question when they actually mean something quite different (this is one of many ways in which allistic people are strange and exotic). So when I don't want to hazard guessing, my default response is to cheerfully respond to ambiguous questions with "Why do you ask?"

Usually if I do it casually, people don't notice I didn't answer the original question, and instead move on to their Actual Question. (Also works if you just prefer to give noncommittal answers.) Very very basic example but:

Person: "Are you busy/what are you doing this weekend?"

You (too tired to guess-and-then-calculate-an-emotional-slash-external-response based on if this is a prelude to a social invitation, an acquaintance asking for a favor, a coworker asking to trade shifts, boss wanting you to work overtime, etc): *vague but friendly smile* Why do you ask?

Person: Well I wanted to know if....

Very useful shortcut/cheatcode

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cingedash - Photosynthesis > Sleep
Photosynthesis > Sleep

Cinder | They/Them | Demisexual and demiromantic | Personal blog so don’t expect any form of consistency

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