I Really Need A Fucking Break, Or A Gun

I don’t know if people actually read my posts anymore but I apologize to those who do

she nothing on my nothing til i nothing. celibacy

when intense sadness is a regular part of your life, you stop caring entirely about how it makes you come across to people. i’m literally sitting in class sobbing like it’s normal. people are staring, but it’s just hard to care anymore. like yeah, i’m losing my shit due to the horrors. look away bro

i wish and i wish and i wish but it will never make things return to the way they used to be. i can wish all i want, but it will never be enough. i wish for the same thing every time: to be special to someone again. i know i shouldn’t tell you because now it won’t come true, but i think i was doomed anyway.

That one was too edgy for the blr my bad

Did a tarot reading the other day and it basically said my love life is doomed. I know at the end of the day it’s just cards but there was this one part that hurt me so bad I haven’t stopped thinking about it. When I pulled for the far future it said that if I have a family it will be doomed and I will repeat the same patterns my parents did.

I don’t know why it’s stuck in my head. It’s such a silly thing to get emotional over. But what if I do want a family and I just end up hurting them? What if I build a life just for it to crumble because of my self destructive tendencies? I come from a long line of people who didn’t know how to love each other, why would I be any different?

I feel like there is absolutely nothing in store for me.

I wish my friends knew just how beautiful they are

15 January, 1926 The Letters of Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf (1924-1941)

Inhale warmth

Exhale ecstasy