Hello, My Name Is Jawad From Gaza 🍉

i like to imagine that the rest of the gods on olympus were all watching ody turn poseidon into swiss cheese, with a variety of emotions throughout them.

zeus: *impressed but slightly very worried* maybe i let him cook for too long on that island.

zeus: oh well rather poseidon than me

hera: *mainly nonchalant but hiding a tiny smile behind her chalice*

hera: *after hearing next to my wife* that is what you call a man who loves his wife *side eyes zeus*

zeus: *sweats*

hephaestus: *kind of impressed* well he avenged his crew *shrugs*

ares: *in awe* athena didn't lie about the bloodshed!

ares: *hears poseidon beg for mercy* *odysseus doesn't give him that*

ares: *now in love with ody* THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MORTAL EVER

aphrodite: *just blinking in disbelief* he's not wasting anymore time to get home i guess?

hermes: *is proud but also in slight shock* thats a mindset change alright...

hermes: *gasps* i need to tell athena!

hermes: *grins* but first-

hermes: guess ~ i ~ should be the one to take poor dear uncle to the infirmary! *giggles at the drama he's about to cause there*

apollo: *sighs* let me get another bed made up

apollo: *heads off to his olympus infirmary*

Calypso: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Odysseus: You know who else is beautiful?

Calypso (blushing): Who?

Odysseus: Penelope.

😭 This just fits perfectly.

If you don’t get it, Athena was born from Zeus (her father).

Hephaestus split Zeus’ head open with an ax and Athena sprung out, fully grown and wearing armor.

The joke is: Athena thinks babies are born from men because that’s how she was born.

Odysseus: *hands baby Telemachus to Athena*

Athena: Wow, he's heavy.

Athena, touching Ody's forehead: I hope the labour wasn't too hard for you?

Odysseus:

Odysseus: It was fine.

Penelope: *sniggering*

Odysseus, to Penelope: Please can I just tell her the truth now?

Penelope: Nope.

Chat im cooking i have college courses and backups in mind

Plan A - The initial plan, Medtech.

Plan B - In case of failure in Plan A, Architecture.

Plan C - In case of failure in both Plan A AND Plan B, Accounting.

Fuck guys im so far away from college but here i am, being a lil worrywart

Reblog to make prev fall asleep feeling loved and wanted

Well….the kid aint wrong

Bruce: If a stranger came up to you and said 'I'm your dad's friend, he told me to pick you up' what would you say?

Tiny!Jason: I'd say 'You're lying, my dad doesn't have any friends!'

Bruce:

Dick, in the corner: *tearing up* I'm so proud...

As an eldest daughter,

I want to cry and I will because God this is me

Eldest Daughter by Isabela Pless 😭 (on spotify btw)

I’ve been reading nothing but Nightwing angst the past week. Those fics that have Dick crumbling under the weight of his eldest daughter syndrome and then the rest of the family has to take care of him *chefs kiss*

Mood

You can’t be dead if you were never truly alive 🙃

Are you dead?

Bold of you to assume I was ever alive.

dont hit men!!!!

dont hit women!!!

dont hit people!!!!

unless theyre into that in which case make sure you have a safeword

I wish Amazon treated their workers better but you have to admit that it’s kinda funny

((pay us more amazon))