THIS

Please stop Bart from thinking he doesn’t have to be mad at Barry just because he’s the flash. Endorse the kid sucker punching him for being rude. He does it to Wally, why not his grandpa too?

Bart was canonically trapped in a video game for over half of his life, and he has a reaction time faster than the speed of light. There ain’t no way these people are beating him.

for science

You can’t spell Ken without Kent and you can’t spell Barbie without Bart. So, in this ted talk-

Ahh yes. The mortals ‘got ya bitch’ to gods ‘bitch you thought’ and then came the ‘begone thot’ war.

did humans invent math or did we discover it

does math even exist

Brief explanation of all of Bart’s deaths.

Hi, back by unpopular demand, ME! (Updated this cause Bart has died YET AGAIN in the timespan of this post and now, also I forgot one. So yes, Bart has died a total of five times now.💀) this is Jaybart rantpost part 2.

So, as I said in the last post, I'd explain Bart's three (Now 5) separate deaths. So without further ado, lets get on with angst!

Smallsville sacrifice: Bart actually ends up sacrificing himself for Clark Kents sake and many more in Smallsville, Giving up his speed to the Black Flash or the "grim reaper" of the speedforce. Nasty lookin guy, all black and withered. Hard to miss. He gives up his speed since his is the only one that's "pure" as Reaper Flash says, afterwards being struck by a Zeus load of lightning. After the light died down, the only thing left was a lightning bolt insignia on the ground where Bart stood. His last words were "smell ya later." (Have I mentioned how much I love him?)

Thad Thawne and the rouges: (I love Thad and I need you to understand that he's not entirely at fault for his actions, no thad hate under this roof.) Anyway, Thad was able to convince, with much bargaining, the Rouges to aid his defeating of his Twin Clone, Bart. Bart looked much older, and had taken the name Flash after everyone else "mysteriously" lost their speed and Wally was gone. So a plan was made, a fight took place, Bart was defeated and later on the Rouges weren't too thrilled about it. Just read the comic, I promise it's great. Right after he died Wally returned as Flash and soon Bart was ressurected but as a teenager again?? And then he took back his title Impulse. Don't ask.

Killed Clone: Okay, so this one is a little bit different from those cause he does technically die, but it's not by normal conventional means so let me explain. Bart has many powers that are unique from the speedforce like his speed sympathy; the ability to feel when another person in the speedforce is in trouble. One of these powers is his speed scouts. He can draw energy from the speedforce to duplicate himself with multiple carbon copies, like Naruto. Anyway, all of them are connected. If one thinks, that thought is communicated between all of them. If one is hurt, they all feel it. So after he was using them in a battle, one of his speed scouts was killed, right in front of him. He was able to feel them die, and feel himself dying even though his pain was falsified and the shock sent him into a coma that later on killed him. After he was ressurected... again, he swore to never use his speed scouts again.

White Flash: In an end-of-the-world scenerio, Barry Allen has to face the speedforce and try to speed his way to save the planet, but he wasn't fast enough. (A common reoccurring theme in Flash comics) so mama speed sent Bart as her massiah to deliver them victory. I'll share with you a quote cause it's better at explaining this than I am: “Grandpa! No time to explain. I can feel it... feel the speedforce all around me... feel it in me... now that I’ve caught up with you, I can Help. This is what I’m meant to do— it’s not enough, what you’re doing now. You’re going to need every bit you can get... every bit that’s in this weird reality... the speedforce sent me around the universe... I collected it for you... took it from Max, Wally, Jay, everyone..! I’ve come through time and space and this universe to become the speedforce’s ultamate messenger, so I could tell you this: run, grandpa. Run and save our world.” Basically he gives up all his speed and the others, sacrificing himself (AGAIN) for the greater good so that Barry might have a chance in saving their time. He turns into the White Flash right before his molecules were torn apart and he ceases, now one with the speedforce.

(SPOILERS FOR FLASH: FUTURE STATE): Bart, Max, and Barry were all looking for ways to bring Wally back from being basically possessed by Famine- yes, the one from the four horsemen. He was apparently inprisoned in the speedforce and took away all the others speed. They found a way to save him, but it was guarded by villains. Bart uses the prisma goggles and gadgets he stole. He rode into the room on a rainbow- try telling me that's not gay. you Can't. Anywho, he stole it from the calculator man, who then shot him with a laser seconds before Max electricuted him. Sad day to have to explain such a badass character was killed by someone named calculator man. At least it wasn't calendar man...

What do you mean "curing" his autism. I don't remember that in the comics????

They don’t outright say it, cause that’d just be stupid of them, but you know the scene right before Bart becomes Kid Flash, when Deathstroke/Jericho shot him in the knee point blanc so he had that prosthetic put in? They basically used that as a coverup to change his character basics and rewrite his character. 

It was messy and sure, trauma does a lot to people, but come on. Immediately afterwards he took on the Kid Flash mantle, something he’s said on multiple occasions that he’d NEVER do. He read the entire San Fransico Library and memorised it all, something he’s never had the patience or attention span to do before, and no a traumatic event like that wouldn’t focus him. If anything he’d become more paranoid and ready to jump the gun, figuratively and literally. And then he becomes such a serious character? Like??? That’s not how neurodivergent people/characters work. He cracks jokes from time to time since he’s supposed to be the “class clown” character on the team-- also supposed to be untrue. 

Inaccurate Batfam quotes #14

Batfam on a rollar coaster:

Dick: Screaming in joy

Jason: Screaming in fear

Tim: Bored af

Damian: Pouting but secretly enjoying it

Bruce: Sitting stiff, internally screaming

Alfred: Sipping tea somehow without spilling

Only intellectuals will understand

Destiel Christmas

Sam: *puts tinsel on Dean*

Sam: Making you a Christmas tree...

Dean: What? Why?!

Sam: Because the angel tops. *smirks and continues putting tinsel on him*

Cas: *spits out drink* WHAT?!

(literally thought about this a few minutes ago)