Reid : Unfortunately, I Do Always Have Something Smart To Say.

Emily : This party kinda suck, lets go

JJ : ...Emily. This is your own funeral.

Emily : In my defense, your honor, I simply do not vibe with the law

Emily : I have an excellent memory ! Name one time I forgot something.

Morgan : You left me in a Walmart parking lot like, three weeks ago.

Emily : I did that on purpose, try again.

Therapist, on a meeting with Reid : And what do we do when we are sad ?

Reid : Get a new PhD.

Therapist : No-

Morgan : Flirt with cute girls.

Therapist : ...What ? Wait, where did you come from ?

Garcia : Buy way too much cute stuff to forget.

Hotch : Work way too much.

Rossi : Hyper focus and be paranoid about killers.

Therapist, clearly not ready for this, or for people popping out of nowhere : Wait-

Emily : Fake death while getting high.

JJ : Close up and be completely silent.

Therapist :

Therapist, throwing their files on the ground : ...Nope. I quit.

Reid : I am smartest, wisest person of this group.

Rossi : Kid, is your hand stuck in this vending machine ?

Reid : I paid for my bag of candy, I'm getting my bag of candy.

Emily, having a rampage : SAY THAT AGAIN-

JJ : Those red flags be heart shaped tho

Emily : Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve

Reid : You mean cards ?

Emily, slowly sliding a knife out of her sleeve : No, I do not.

Morgan : What do you think Emily will do for a distraction ?

Rossi : Probably throw a rock or make some noise. Something easy.

Car explodes, a fire start, Emily is running around screaming.

Rossi : ..Or that.

Morgan : Hey JJ, nice shirt !

JJ : Aw, thanks !

Morgan, smiling : But it would looked better lying on Emily's bedroom floor.

JJ :

Emily : DAMNIT stop hitting on JJ on my behalf !

Reid smiling at his phone, watching Bluey with headphones on

Emily, walking behind him : What are you watching ?

Reid, full panic mod, slamming his phone screen on his desk : P*RN. ADULT THINGS. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME EMILY