Emily : In My Defense, Your Honor, I Simply Do Not Vibe With The Law

Spencer : Can I be frank with you guys ?

Emily : I don't know how changing your name is going to help

Penelope : Can I still be Penelope ?

Morgan : Ssshhht let Frank speak.

Spencer :

Spencer : I hate you all

Emily : I like to think of myself as a "free spirit". It's way more classier than "out of fucking control".

Emily, picking a fight with Strauss : With all due respect, which is none-

Therapist : And remember, you are your own worst enemy.

Reid, somehow proud : Undefeated dude

Unsub, wanting to mentally torture Reid : One of these glasses of water is poisoned, you have to drink one-

Reid : drinks one without hesitation

Unsub : Wha- How did you know it was the safe one ?!

Reid, visibly sad and disappointed : ..I kinda hoped it wasn't.

Hotch : I have an issue

The entire team, being the issue : Oh no, what's going on ?

Hotch, finding a bunch of knives every time Emily is somewhere : What's that ??

Emily : That's my emotional support knife collection. To help me deal with people.

Hotch : ...We should be tracking YOU down.

Hotch : Did you buy eggs like I asked ?

Garcia : Even better.

Hotch : What did you-

Garcia, holding up a chicken : Her name is Fluffy !

The BAU on the jet, returning home after a difficult case :

Morgan : You've been on the phone since we left, what are you doing ?

Reid : I'm trying to cancel my liFE SUBSCRIPTION

Emily : I have an excellent memory ! Name one time I forgot something.

Morgan : You left me in a Walmart parking lot like, three weeks ago.

Emily : I did that on purpose, try again.