This Is What I've Eaten Through The Week Or So. I Kinda Slowed Down But I'm Back Now.

Mississippi kite.

I take all my pictures myself.

White tailed deer. All photos are mine and were taken at a respectful distance. Remember that predators will leave if you're too much work but prey animals will end you for looking at them wrong.

A white tailed doe with her fawn and yearling.

I absolutely loved watching them grow over the years. Unfortunately the young buck in this photo was struck by truck and passed.

what I've been eating the last couple days.

Tomato soup with egg noodle. Coconut water with pulp and sparkling water. What I didn't photograph was the two pieces of homemade cake. The three chocolate chip cookies. The random pieces of bread and the four marshmallows I eat straight out of the bag. And the concerning amount of pasta I've eaten all week. I need to go shopping so I've just been scrounging. I did eat a bit more sugar then I probably should have but I refuse to feel bad about it. I'm enjoying getting my appetite back after being sick.

I've been out of commission so to the stomach flu. But I'm back now. I apologize for my absence.

It's not much but this is what I've eaten since the 25th. I also had a bowl of soup that I forgot to photograph.

I'll be posting more often now that I'm feeling better.

your ed is just as valid if you don’t enjoy hunger. valid if you aren’t a white teenage girl. valid if you aren’t uw. valid if you eat junk and sweets. valid if you don’t purge. valid if you don’t exercise. valid if you do high res. valid if you don’t fast. valid if you have never passed out. valid if you enjoy the taste of food. valid if you don’t like diet coke. valid if your suffering isn’t all perfectly aesthetic and dainty and serene.

I just realized that I'm super late to the intro post.

I suck at doing these.

You can call me Felix or real what ever comes to mind. I personally don't have a preference.

I use (He/they) pronouns. In in my mid twenties and broke as a joke.

I've had a eating disorder for most of my life and I started my recovery journey because it was actually killing me.

I love photograph and reading and I welcome any and all D.Ms and message no matter what kind as long as they're respectful.

The comedian.

I had a lot more planned for this but the platform I was using kept crashing. Please enjoy and comments are appreciated. Y/n is a journalist who investigates criminals.

Y/n swore he'd leave Gotham one day. Move back to his no name town and leave his journaling career behind. Whether he'd make it back alive was a whole different story. He left work after dark, being behind on a group project. He was required to meet the deadline on time. His boss made it clear that if he failed to do so, it would cost him his job. One y/n couldn't afford to lose. Bidding the janitor farewell as he left. Dreading the walk back to his apartment. The air cold and unwelcoming. It was a short walk but Gotham's reputation wasn't for nothing. It was dangerous even in the day time. And if the wealthiest family in Gotham could be murdered in a back alley, it could be anyone. He kept his head down, hands in his pockets. Avoiding the large groups of men gathering in the street. Whatever they were doing was non of his business. Making his way through the safest route to home. A dingy, poorly lit back alley reeking of piss and week old trash. Quickly dodging the smelly puddles and broken glass, noting the foot steps following him.

Y/n was sweating up a storm knowing he wasn't far from his apartment. He could run but anyone knowing where he lived would invite even more trouble. Taking a deep breath turning to face whoever was following him. His courage died at the sight. He was met with a tall imposing man. His broad shoulders and thick arms showcasing his strong muscles. Black hair greasy and unwashed. But he definitely wasn't the common junkie y/n was used to seeing. The sinking feeling in the pit of Y/n's stomach only grew when the man didn't immediately demand his wallet or even his watch. This wasn't a random mugging. Y/n took a step back, his legs felt like jelly. The stranger rasped out a rough chuckle. The click of the man's pocket knife had y/n turning on his heel and into a dead sprint. It wasn't his first rodeo. He had spent too much of his time running for his life in this awful city. But this was the first time someone targeted him specifically. His wallet yes but never his life. Scrabbling around the corner and towards the front of his apartment complex. The man slid and slammed into a abandoned trash can. He recovered too quickly for y/n comfort but it gave him enough time to book it up the small set of stairs. Y/n ripped the door key from his coat pocket and blindly jammed it into the door.

Looking back at the man who was charging full speed at him. A yelp of fear leaped from his throat as he yanked his key free from the now open door and shot inside. Slamming the door closed behind him the second humanly possible. The automatic lock saving his life. Having no time to relax as a loud bang rang through the quiet building as his attacker slammed against the door. "You can hide in there forever! I'll be waiting! Do you hear me, you crossed the wrong man this time!" Y/n slid down the door frozen in fear as he listened. Panting from sprint. Nausea suddenly hit him like a train holding onto his own knees for dear life waiting for it to pass. A sudden thump near the stairs could have scared him to death if his heart was any weaker. Seeing his floor mate standing by the stairs, a wooden bat clutched tightly in his hand. His brows knitted together and a frown etched into his face. The worried look in his eyes pulled at y/n's heart stings. He would have thought Jack was angry with him if he didn't know any better. He must've woken the poor man slamming the door. His dark brown hair that y/n was used to seeing combed and styled laid flat from sleep. His bangs grown out from the lack of maintenance were brushed away from his face. Dark circles under his eyes induced by stress were exaggerated by his warm green eyes. Neither of them said a word simply waiting. Y/n was the first to interrupt the silence. Rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that, I'll be quieter next time." Jack gave him a bewildered look. They had been floor mates for sometime. Though they had never really spoken much besides a greeting in the halls when they passed each other and light conversation in the lobby y/n had developed a childish crush on the man. The straight, married man with a baby on the way. After another moment of silence Jack finally spoke. His curiosity laced with worry. "What was that about?" A simple question but one y/n couldn't answer. Replaying the whole thing over in his head

trying to make sense of it. With heavy sigh he shook his head. "I was just attacked by a man welding a knife." Laughing nervously trying to avoid the gravity of the whole situation. Jack tensed up upon hearing the news. The souring company was enough to get y/n moving. Peeling himself off the floor brushing past Jack with a quiet good night and went straight into his apartment. Tossing his shoes in a corner and flopping onto his uncomfortable bed. Going straight to sleep. Jack followed him up the stairs the bat held loosely in his non dominant hand. Y/n's shoulders slumped and and his head low as he slipped soundlessly into his apartment. Jack stood staring at the door longer then he'd like to admit. He blew his chance to speak with y/n again.

But given the circumstance he doubted much would come from his effort anyways. Jack ran his hand through his hair for the hundredth time that night. He had been going over a overwhelming amount of unpaid bills. His career as comedian was failing miserably. He was struggling with booking but that wasn't the problem, no one laughed. Not once. He needed to find some way to make ends meat. Regardless of how. The following week was quite for Y/n. He would go to work, rush home, eat dinner alone, and sleep. The endless cycle of his life. It wasn't until Saturday when Y/n had come home late again did that change. No sooner did Y/n pop his leftover chicken fried rice in the microwave was there someone knocking on his door. Turning his head towards the noise he face scrunched in confusion. He had no plans and no friends. Who was knocking on his door?

Glancing lovingly at his food before heading for the door. Dodging the squeaky floor boards as he went. Looking through the peephole. And to his surprise and horror it was Jack and he was bleeding. Quickly unlocking multiple locks on his door before swinging it open. As confused as Y/n was he could just leave him to deal with whatever happened by himself. "Go to the bathroom and wait for me." Y/n pointed to his bathroom next to his bedroom. His voice calm but firm. And that's exactly what Jack did. His hands holding his nose as blood seeped through his fingers. Y/n hastily walk into his kitchen grabbing the pair of scissors off the microwave along with a couple soft wash cloths a drawer. With limited space he had to get a bit creative with storage. In the bathroom he saw Jack sitting on his toilet lid looking at the floor.

Turning the sink on hot as he began his inspecting Jack's wounds waiting for the water to heat up. Open cuts and bruising on both his knuckle. A solid bruise on his left cheek and a nasty cut across the bridge of his nose. Y/n grabbed his med kit from under the sink. Checking the water temp before dropping the plug in sink leaving him with a basin of water to work with. Y/n turned to look at Jack meeting his eyes. Taking note of how red they were. Thankfully the wound on his nose had stopped bleeding. Leaving behind a clean cut that would no doubt scar. Nodding to himself as he opened his med kit. He might be a little rusty but he could handle this. First applying the hand sanitizer to prevent cross contamination. Submerging one of the cloths in the sink then ringing the excess "I'm going to be as gentle as I can but this is going to hurt. Hold onto something okay."

He soften his voice trying to be comforting. Jack nodded in return bracing himself. Y/n held onto Jack's jaw to prevent him from moving as he cleaned the blood from his face. Careful around the open wound on his nose. The blood cleaned from his face Y/n noticed how red and warm Jack's cheeks had become. He hoped that it wasn't a fever. Setting the now stained red cloth down, replacing it with the clean one. Soaking up the lukewarm water ringing out the excess. He turned back to his floor mate, knowing the worst part was next. Cleaning the actual cut. "Jack, I need you to close your eyes for me okay. I'll be quick." He listened without question and closed his eyes. But the secoed the cloth made contact with his skin one of Jack's hands shot out grabbing a hold of his hip. The feeling of his thin fingers holding onto him

was kinda cute if he was honest. He was quick to lessen how much he had to irritate the wound. Applying some antiseptic balm to the wound before cutting some self adhering bandage to size. Carefully placing it on the wound. Jack's grip tighten during the bandaging process. "All done." He couldn't help but frown. He felt horrible for causing him more pain.

"I'm going to wash your knuckles and then you can go get changed." Jack answer with a simple okay. Admittedly a little breathless. Y/n let the water out of the sink before flip on the water back on. Grabbing Jack's hands holding them under the lukewarm water washing the blood and grime down the drain. Apologizing for any pain or discomfort was feeling. Applying the balm to his knuckles before grabbing a roll of gauze. Wrapping it around slowly, making sure it wasn't too tight as he went. Trying to ignore the way Jack was looking him. Tying off the last hand with a relieved sigh. It had taken a hour but he was finished. Y/n guided him out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.

Leaving him standing by the bed as he walked to his dresser. Fishing through his shirt until he found one that looked like it would fit. They may share almost identical height Jack was much thinner. The lack of nutrients and proper care was obvious. Grabbing a cream long sleeve and black sweats that hadn't fit in years. Turning to see Jack inspecting his room. It wasn't much to look at really. A stiff mattress and half eaten dresser, small end table and a window that didn't open with a old sheet tacked over it to block out the sun. But it was something. "It's not much but if you're comfortable with it, you can wear these and I'll wash the ones you're wearing." Y/n place the clothes on the bed and walked out. On the hunt for some pain medication.

Jack watched him leave before looking at the clothes. His face still on fire from his own embarrassment. His heart still racing from the bathroom. The gentleness, the feeling of his hands on his skin, the warmth they left behind. Brushing away his thoughts before they had a chance to spiral. He began talking off his shoes sitting them in the same corner as the other ones before talking off his blooded clothes and dressing in the fresh ones. They smelt like Y/n and were decently baggy. But they were comfortable. And after the night he had that's all he could ask for. A knock on the door frame announced y/n's return who was holding up a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water. "If you want to, you can stay and watch some TV. Jack stood speechless for a moment. Y/n's smile faded a bit worried he might have overstepped. He quickly added "You don't have to of course." Jack picked up his dirty clothes off the floor before answering. " I'd love to."

Don't forget to drink water and eat something.

I would like to apologize for my long absence. It wasn't my intention to be away for such a time. April 12th.

I had some decaffeinated tea on the right and some homemade chia seeds pudding with half a banana.

Not the ideal meal but I was incredibly busy.

By the way if you enjoy drinking tea especially loose leaf tea I highly recommend you try this brand. It's my new personal favorite.

I feel like this flower deserves its own post. I've never seen a flower look so cartoonish before.

I just want to thank everyone who interacts with my posts. I truly do appreciate everyone.

I had honeyed bread and two wild berry poptarts for breakfast.

Walked a mile to and from to my local store and bought a smoothie, energy and a bag of licorice.

I don't recommend the licorice I only eat a few. The energy drink was delicious. The smoothie was okay.

I made me and a friend dinner. Steamed egg with spinach and carrots on the side. Plus one piece of ham.

I finished the day with a bowl of cereal and yogurt.