daffodils-and-bluebells

Latest Posts by daffodils-and-bluebells

This happened awhile ago but I'm bored so I'll share it with you all.

Some months back while I was walking down the highway in the pouring rain just for something to do.

And an ambulance drove past me which isn't a strange occurrence because of the state I live in. There's a lot of violence and drugs use here.

And I stopped on the shoulder to let the ambulance pass without worrying about me jumping in front of it because that has actually happened. And I don't know what possessed me to do this but I waved at them. And I watched in horror as the driver's face went pale and his face just dropped while he was looking at me.

About twenty or thirty feet down the road towards the hospital they slowed down and turned off the emergency lights.

For those who don't know that means the patient has passed in the ambulance and they're too far from the hospital to continuing resuscitating you. It happens the most with D. N. R patients.

And this paramedic has had some kind of grudge against me since then because everything he passes me. I get the rudest looks for him.

Pardon the back ground. I had already walked a couple miles and I was passing through a trailer park.

Not the best outfit and I lost my belt at the time.

5/12/2025.

Getting scrutinized by a police helicopter while listening to the apparition by sleep token was not on my bingo card.

A guy that I'm fairly familiar with kept reving his engine up and down the road while I was trying to journal and after about the fifth pass he finally got the highway patrol's attention.

So after getting pulled over he waited until the cop was halfway to his car, this man peeled out and flew down the highway.

And I wish I was joking but seven cars went after him. Quiet a few sheriffs but a few highway patrol's. And then I don't know if he crashed or he caused the crash but two cars collided right by a school and a ambulance and fire truck was sent out there.

A police helicopter was issued to help find the guy and it flew so low to inspect me I got hit with some rotor wash which felt quiet nice because I was cooking in the humidity. So that's fine.

5/12/2025

A bagel with mixed berry cream cheese. And a single chicken strip. I eat its two brothers before I took this picture. Red bell pepper with some sauce. A doughnut I was given and some salami. Paired with some mango tea.

Im well aware that my eating has slowed down and so has my nutritional intake. But I have food plans for tomorrow. I just didn't have time to eat because I spent two hours filling out important medical documents while my nephew was tearing the house apart and everyone needed to be in the kitchen for something shaking the table I was writing on and that on top of my hand tremor made it nearly impossible to get anything done.

It's just my family stressing me out too much to function properly. And that's not even the craziest part. I'll share that in another post.

Some pictures I took of the sun hitting deferent things.

reblog to heal the person you reblogged this from

I just realized that I'm super late to the intro post.

I suck at doing these.

You can call me Felix or real what ever comes to mind. I personally don't have a preference.

I use (He/they) pronouns. In in my mid twenties and broke as a joke.

I've had a eating disorder for most of my life and I started my recovery journey because it was actually killing me.

I love photograph and reading and I welcome any and all D.Ms and message no matter what kind as long as they're respectful.

TW.

I had a cosmic brownie, a strawberry shortcake and barbecue onion rings. I got back from the store and I survived my mother. I'm fully aware that I'm not eating healthy and I'm trying to get back on track. I have plans for more healthy meals tomorrow.

It was a long day of her acting like it was her first day of modern society and kept saying embarrassing and out of pocket things. Plus she kept nearly running in to me and shoulder checking me all because she was mad at my father. I'm preparing to move out but for now I'm still here mostly out of obligation to my siblings.

Plus she called me fat and hinted at me eating too much and that's why this tiny bag of cereal wasn't going as far. I personally will not be touching it after that.

The urge to binge those delicious chicken tenders hit me like a train but I know I'll regret it and the. want to purge. I'm just going to lay down and hopefully fall asleep.

your ed is just as valid if you don’t enjoy hunger. valid if you aren’t a white teenage girl. valid if you aren’t uw. valid if you eat junk and sweets. valid if you don’t purge. valid if you don’t exercise. valid if you do high res. valid if you don’t fast. valid if you have never passed out. valid if you enjoy the taste of food. valid if you don’t like diet coke. valid if your suffering isn’t all perfectly aesthetic and dainty and serene.

A relapse doesn’t erase the progress you made by staying clean.

If you’ve been clean for a day, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a week, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a month, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for longer, I’m proud of you.

If you relapsed after being clean for a while, I’m proud of you for staying clean however long you did. A relapse isn’t the end of the world. I’m still proud of you for everything you did to try to stay clean.

If you have tried to stay clean and failed, I’m proud of you for trying. It’s hard, I know. Don’t give up. I’m proud of you.

No matter what, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for everything. I’m proud of you for being alive right now. Don’t say you don’t deserve this, because you do. You very much do.

Thank you for existing.

This adorable little tree snake and paw print I saw.

im very proud of myself.

I saved a baby bird yesterday. Found it below the nest and I called a wildlife preserve and the guy on the phone helped me figure out how to handle it. After we had a good laugh about it trying to bite me. I scoped it up in my coat to keep it warm because it was missing a ton of feathers. The bird had been throwing dud eggs out for a while and I guess the baby wanted to join.

What I photograph on my walk. May 9th.

My first two walls after being sick for over a month. I'm not a hundred percent but I'm getting there.

what I've been eating the last couple days.

Tomato soup with egg noodle. Coconut water with pulp and sparkling water. What I didn't photograph was the two pieces of homemade cake. The three chocolate chip cookies. The random pieces of bread and the four marshmallows I eat straight out of the bag. And the concerning amount of pasta I've eaten all week. I need to go shopping so I've just been scrounging. I did eat a bit more sugar then I probably should have but I refuse to feel bad about it. I'm enjoying getting my appetite back after being sick.

It's okay to eat 'more than you need.' Maybe you are extra hungry! Maybe there is a fun event and you are sharing in social joy! Maybe you just wanted something because it made your day better. You are allowed to enjoy food and not think of it in terms of numbers.

i love u if ur disability/mental illness/etc makes you do things that are "gross" to others.

bedrotting, wetting, having messy rooms, not bathing, i love you. its okay and i love you.

two truths:

healing is hard

healing is worth it

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love!! Let's not forget how much our body fights for to keep us alive everyday, even when we're abusing and neglecting it. Even when we punish ourselves, our body is still there and alive; breathing and continuing to live. Because what it wants is not punishment, but to keep going on, survive & live.

This is a bit of a rambling post I apologize just scroll past it if you want.

I just spent the entire day in the a hospital. Getting poked and prodded by people because I haven't been able to breathe for two weeks. On and off wheezing almost fainting the whole nine yards.

And I had to go by myself with my narcissistic father who complained and snapped at me the whole time. I tried getting multiple of my siblings to go with me because I go to every appointment they go to. Everyone said no and my mother was watching my nephew and couldn't go.

Well turns out I could possibly have a pulmonary embolism in my lung. For those who don't know that a very dangerous blood clot that can kill me.

So I'm sitting in the ER tore between crying like a big baby and acceptance and my father was complaining about the bill of anything not covered by my insurance.

So we went from a urgent care to the ER. And some how my father managed to convince to ER staff that me not being able to breathe was allergies. Anyways I apologize to anyone who reads this I just really needed to get that out.

Hello everyone. I wanted to show you what I've been eating for the past week or so.

Some toast I didn't finish, hibiscus tea, some pasta with tomato sauce with extra onion and garlic, stale bread but it still tastes fine, steamed eggs with spinach, and cherry blossoms tea.

I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to say I appreciate everyone who likes or interacts with my posts. It means a lot.

The duality of bread. I cooked them at the same time but one didn't rise.

Small rant!!

If someone SH's for attention it doesn't mean you can start just...IGNORING THAT PERSON'S ISSUES?!?!?! IF SOMEONE SH'S FOR ATTENTION IT'S STILL SH AND JUST AS BAD AS SOMEONE SH'ING BECAUSE THEY FEEL DEPRESSED. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING A METER ON HOW BAD SH IS BASED ON THE REASON. IF SOMEONE DOES IT FOR ATTENTION, THE ROOT CAUSE IS STILL A MENTAL ILLNESS/SOMETHING IS DEF STILL WRONG AND THEY DESERVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF CARE AND LOVE AS PEOPLE WHO SH FOR OTHER REASONS.

SH IS SH. NO MATTER THE REASON OF DOING IT. AND EVERYONE WHO DOES IT DESERVES TO BE SEEN AND DESERVES HELP AND LOVE AND CARE.

Here's some lentil soup I made and a update. I don't have pneumonia thankfully. But I do have acute bronchitis and I'm on antibiotics and an inhaler. This soup is delicious also.

I wanted to show you the babies around my neighborhood. While I wait for my doctor appointment. I think I contracted pneumonia from my nephew.

I got a new ring about a month back or so and I wanted to know what everyone thought. It's the one on my index finger.

Ignore the nail polish, my girl friend wanted to match and her man didn't want to. I don't think he likes me very much but the feeling is mutual.

Here's some things I photograph today.

I'm proud of myself. I was quite productive today.

Homemade sauce and meatballs with store bought noodles. Lemon water and candied lemon peels.

April 16th. My deepest apologies. There has been a death and I have set up drafts to post for me.

I made different soups and a begal with cottage cheese and some cereal. Most of these pictures have to been taken one the 10th and 11th.

I would like to apologize for my long absence. It wasn't my intention to be away for such a time. April 12th.

I had some decaffeinated tea on the right and some homemade chia seeds pudding with half a banana.

Not the ideal meal but I was incredibly busy.

By the way if you enjoy drinking tea especially loose leaf tea I highly recommend you try this brand. It's my new personal favorite.

March 7th.

I'm alive and my whole house is sick again. But I made food.

March 5th.

I have leftover pot roast. some cheerio cereal, more rose tea and some fruit.