April 16th. My Deepest Apologies. There Has Been A Death And I Have Set Up Drafts To Post For Me.

March 4th.

I had rose tea, a spinach salad. Some pot roast with carrots and potatoes with a side of stuffing. And lastly butter noodles with soy sauce.

5/12/2025.

Getting scrutinized by a police helicopter while listening to the apparition by sleep token was not on my bingo card.

A guy that I'm fairly familiar with kept reving his engine up and down the road while I was trying to journal and after about the fifth pass he finally got the highway patrol's attention.

So after getting pulled over he waited until the cop was halfway to his car, this man peeled out and flew down the highway.

And I wish I was joking but seven cars went after him. Quiet a few sheriffs but a few highway patrol's. And then I don't know if he crashed or he caused the crash but two cars collided right by a school and a ambulance and fire truck was sent out there.

A police helicopter was issued to help find the guy and it flew so low to inspect me I got hit with some rotor wash which felt quiet nice because I was cooking in the humidity. So that's fine.

TW.

I had a cosmic brownie, a strawberry shortcake and barbecue onion rings. I got back from the store and I survived my mother. I'm fully aware that I'm not eating healthy and I'm trying to get back on track. I have plans for more healthy meals tomorrow.

It was a long day of her acting like it was her first day of modern society and kept saying embarrassing and out of pocket things. Plus she kept nearly running in to me and shoulder checking me all because she was mad at my father. I'm preparing to move out but for now I'm still here mostly out of obligation to my siblings.

Plus she called me fat and hinted at me eating too much and that's why this tiny bag of cereal wasn't going as far. I personally will not be touching it after that.

The urge to binge those delicious chicken tenders hit me like a train but I know I'll regret it and the. want to purge. I'm just going to lay down and hopefully fall asleep.

Mississippi kite.

I take all my pictures myself.

A relapse doesn’t erase the progress you made by staying clean.

If you’ve been clean for a day, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a week, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a month, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for longer, I’m proud of you.

If you relapsed after being clean for a while, I’m proud of you for staying clean however long you did. A relapse isn’t the end of the world. I’m still proud of you for everything you did to try to stay clean.

If you have tried to stay clean and failed, I’m proud of you for trying. It’s hard, I know. Don’t give up. I’m proud of you.

No matter what, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for everything. I’m proud of you for being alive right now. Don’t say you don’t deserve this, because you do. You very much do.

Thank you for existing.

I've been out of commission so to the stomach flu. But I'm back now. I apologize for my absence.

It's not much but this is what I've eaten since the 25th. I also had a bowl of soup that I forgot to photograph.

I'll be posting more often now that I'm feeling better.

im very proud of myself.

I saved a baby bird yesterday. Found it below the nest and I called a wildlife preserve and the guy on the phone helped me figure out how to handle it. After we had a good laugh about it trying to bite me. I scoped it up in my coat to keep it warm because it was missing a ton of feathers. The bird had been throwing dud eggs out for a while and I guess the baby wanted to join.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love.

Your body deserves care, rest and love!! Let's not forget how much our body fights for to keep us alive everyday, even when we're abusing and neglecting it. Even when we punish ourselves, our body is still there and alive; breathing and continuing to live. Because what it wants is not punishment, but to keep going on, survive & live.

Today I made some steak accidently well done with some steamed eggs. Late I made potato cubes fried in low oil. Par with some lovely orange tea.

i love u if ur disability/mental illness/etc makes you do things that are "gross" to others.

bedrotting, wetting, having messy rooms, not bathing, i love you. its okay and i love you.