At The Beginning Of The Month,John/@starman-john-tracy Came Down To Earth For A While, Handing Control

This is the funniest thing I have read all week 😂😂😂

Somewhere in Panem with the victors the 74th year

Katniss climbing the tree

Gloss: Really Haymitch, this is the girl that got an 11 as a training score??

Cato falls

Haymitch: At least she got up the fuckin tree.

Cashmere: It’s fine someone else will get her.

None if the carriers climbing

Enobaria: You gotta be kidding me.

Johanna and Finnick join on the couch

Johanna: Even Finnick’s kids could climb a fucking tree,

Finnick hiding laughter

Brutus: At least our kids made it past the blood bath, can’t say the same for either of yours.

Johanna: I bet you wish they’d kept one of mine around right about now.

Gloss: its fine, she’s a sitting duck, they can just shoot her, its not like she can dodge it, or move.

Glimmer misses shot

Haymitch: Did that girl ever hit any target with her arrow? Because mine did.

Cashmere: We told her to grab a short distance weapon, she has no aim.

Enobaria: that’s embarrassing, for the careers. Cato will get her, he doesn’t miss.

Cato fires arrow and misses

Brutus: Oh my god, I can’t watch this, im getting second hand embarrassment.

Haymitch: Can none of your kids climb a tree???

Cashmere: I guess not.

Marvel throws spear and misses

Finnick: None of them can aim either, this is just sad

Peeta: lets wait her out, she has to come down at some point.

Haymitch laughing hysterically,

Some time later

Katniss starting to cut down tracker jackers

Gloss: Did all our kids seriously fall asleep,

Cashmere rubbing her temples: Yea, they did

Johanna: Who sleeps that heavily in the arena??? Shes making so much noise how are they not awake?

Enobaria: She’s gonna die from those jackers before that nest falls,

Nest falls and careers scatter

Brutus: I need another drink,

Glimmer dies

Johanna: HAH HOW DOES IT FEEL HAVING YOUR CAREER BE TAKEN OUT BY THE DISTRICT 12 GIRL!

Cashmere: no comment,

Some more time later

Katniss plots with rue to blow up food

Gloss: they aren’t gonna fall for that.

They fall for it

Haymitch: you were saying?

Enobaria: This year sucks

Katniss kills Marvel

Johanna (drunk) : HAH BOTH OF YOUR TRIBUTES TAKEN OUT BY THE 12 GIRL!

Gloss: Ok im leaving now.

Cashmere: yea i think im also gonna head out…

Johanna (drunk): LOOSERS HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Finnick: ok Jo, come on, that’s enough for you,

Takes her alcohol

Johanna: no fairrrr, you never take Haymitch’s alcohol

Haymitch: he knows not to mess with me

Finnick: Every time you get drunk, you end up in a fist fight, or breaking something, or both, Haymitch just passes out.

Johanna: OH WHAT YOU WANNA FIGHT LETS FIGHT!

Finnick picks Jo up and carries her to the elevator as she continues screaming and fighting

Haymitch to Brutus and Enobaria: Haha, your tributes arent as cool as mineeee,

Brutus: at least our girl doesn’t look like she wants to vomit getting close to her supposed lover.

Finnick returns

Enobaria: that was fast?

Finnick: I locked her in her bathroom,

Haymitch: Didn’t she just break down the door last time?

Finnick: I handcuffed one of her hands to the pipes and the other to the door.

Elevator doors open revealing Johanna, drenched in water, still handcuffed to a pipe, and the door.

Finnick: I give up. *sits down*

Brutus: what the fuck is wrong with you.

Both Finnick and Jo simultaneously: A lot.

Top Gun Headcanons #6

The event Goose is referring to, when he tells Maverick he must have carnal knowledge "of a lady this time" was the night before they were deployed on the Enterprise.

Maverick had been boasting about being able to pick up a date anywhere so, when they walked into the bar to find it apparently full of exclusively men (and mostly navy men at that), Goose bet Maverick $20 that he wouldn't be able to find some to go home with that night.

What Goose had apparently underestimated, was just how persistent Mav could be when presented with a challenge. Totally unphased, he struck up a conversation with a taller man sitting at the bar. Mav steadily, not so subtly, began flirting with him and he good-natured flirted back, until Maverick began to proposition him for real.

That was about the point when Goose realised that his dumbass of a pilot was actually serious, and pulled him away, marching him back home before he could get any of them into trouble.

The next morning, they were greeted with something of a surprise... Boarding the Enterprise, they were introduced to other members of their squadron and, typically of Pete Mitchell's propensity for shenanigans, there was the man from last night.

Goose felt about ready to expire with embarrassment on Mav's behalf. Pete just groaned, letting his head fall into his hand. The stranger, however, thought it was hilarious and just burst out laughing. He introduced himself as Cougar, and the man beside him (his RIO) as Merlin.

"Goose. Maverick." Nick responded, giving his pilot a long-suffering look.

Pete just groaned, again. Cougar laughed. "Well, I'm sorry to have to break your heart then, Maverick," He teased, "But, I'm married."

Mav opened his mouth and then shut it again. "You're- You- Why- Why the hell were you flirting with me, then?" He managed to get out, semi-outraged.

Cougar shrugged and nodded at Goose. "I heard your friend here make you a bet. Figured it wouldn't hurt to humour you a little, help a brother out y'know."

A grin began to spread it's way across Maverick's face. He threw an arm round his new acquaintance. "You know, Cougar, I think you and I are going to be very good friends."

Cougar laughed. "Count on it."

Thunderfam, what's an obscure ship you have that you can't really explain?

I'll go first.

Remember Kate from Grandma Tourismo?

This girl:

She's sweet and resourceful and instantly makes friends with Grandma Tracy. And she runs a hat shop in the desert.

Well, the ship in question is her and Virgil.

Even though, despite being in the same episode they don't interact at all.

But, my twelve year old brain thought it was an excellent idea so now you may pry Kate x Virgil from my cold dead hands.

Bob: Truth or dare?

Phoenix: Dare.

Bob: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Phoenix: Hey Bagman?

Hangman, blushing: Yeah?

Phoenix: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Rooster.

so I was talking to nibenhu about John loving Star Trek and we decided (x) the massive nerd would totally have a uniform tucked away somewhere and oops my hand slipped…

Mav + Slider: *running away from something/someone*

Carole: Should we help them?

Ice: *running after Mav + Slider*

Goose: Nah, I think they're okay

They were not

(somewhere in the Navy...)

Iceman: MAVERICK!!!!!!

Mav: I have always wanted to be a pilot! Since I was six years old.

Ice: And before that?

Mav: I wanted to be an aeroplane.

*Phoenix hangs up on Hangman mid-sentence*

Hangman: She hung up on me! Some people just can't take a joke.

Rooster: *without looking up* It helps when they're actually funny.

Miss Kayo 🖤