Do You Ever Wonder How Many People Have Had A Crush On You And Never Told You.

trans men be like hot and shit like they're just hot as fuck like what the fuck man why are you being so hot god damn

Yknow, my highest weight was 118lb. I was 7th grade.

My lowest was 87lb, with my mother shoving down diet pills because she was too fat and we had to "support her through trying times".

I spent alot of my childhood pushing my body to its limits. I have torn muscles and broken bones without flinching, pushing past the pains. I was "invincible". "Invincible" meant that I wouldn't die. That I would get out of the hellhole my mother called "our home".

Its been almost 4 years since I last lived with my mother. 4 years of watching the scales. 4 years experiencing the passage of time. Surprisingly, it was forgiving. It was soft, gentle, a lovers kiss after a rough day. A father's hug after a heartbreak. A comfort. True comfort.

I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've gained some of it back. I lost the majority of my muscle, I gained a bit of it, and now it's actively shedding.

And as i sit here, full from the Thanksgiving feast. I've realized one thing.

My body is how it should be. All things get better.

And man my girlfriend makes bombastic banana pudding pie.

they make me violently ill

"Having friends in your head must be so fun!!"

Okay, say it's fun when someone that isn't you takes over your body and decides to do something horrid? Not necessarily a crime, but say, broke up with your lover(s), or cut you off from your entire family.

We're all mentally unstable, at any moment one of us can just decide to commit and it's the end.

It's not fun. It's scary.

Especially because not all of us are "friends", many of us simply get along because we are stuck together.

—Kluk

Why is art so difficult? Art block shouldn't be real, we are all made by skillful hands and minds anyways. This isn't fair 😔

My father, arguably, abused me because he has anxiety. It made it nearly impossible for him to regulate his anger when things got even slightly out of control, and he did and said a lot of horrible things while mid-panic attack.

I'm gonna go ahead and call that "Anxiety Abuse". Everyone with anxiety could do that to me, so I think it's fair for me to say people with anxiety are dangerous across the board. They all have the potential to abuse me because of the way they're hardwired, because of the way their brains worked. They're not the same as me. They're less than human. They're scary.

Now, my dad's been in therapy and on meds for anxiety for years, been working very, very hard at it since I can remember. He still has anxiety and shows symptoms sometimes, but he doesn't abuse me any more.

But, y'know what? He's still evil. Everyone with anxiety is still evil. They could hurt me, so it's only fair that I assume each and every one of them will hurt me, and treat them accordingly. If people with anxiety or people with friends with anxiety challenge me on this belief, it's because they are either also evil or are trapped in an abusive relationship. It's my job to inform everyone who knows anyone with anxiety of this so that they can get themselves to safety, so that everyone with anxiety can have no one in the world, so that they are alone, so that they have no support, because that makes me feel a little safer.

Does this sound fucking ridiculous? It's because it is. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a disorder, like any other, that can cause distressing behaviour and that people can recover from. If you choose to treat Narcissists as inherently evil, you are actively preventing that recovery.

The little things in life remind me of you the most.

I taste you in my overly expensive pumpkin spice lattes

The soft patters of the rain ring of your calm laughter

Days where we cloudgazed, nights were never truly appreciated

I brush past strangers, scents overwhelm my senses

I cling onto what little I have of you

The limited time we had.

Sometimes I let my mind drift to what ifs

If you weren't concerned with conceited reputations

Looks from passerbys that do not matter

Actions that should've never occured

If I was into men

Letting go of what happened

Truths that echo through the chambers of my mind

Then I wake up from light slumbers and hold your sweater a little tighter

I miss you.

She shouldn't have had to cry in my arms for forty minutes- fearing for my life. Fearful for what you would do.

All I wanted was peace. Why do those that we care about have to suffer? What gratification do you gain from this?

You've tied my hands, I have no other choice. I pray that the outcome is sufficient enough for the both of us.