HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BIRTHDAY BOY!!!

(take these in any direction)

popular interview styles, stuff like:

the buzzfeed puppy interview or 73 questions, or if your feeling chaotic, celebrity skin care routines or something else entirely…

(Please excuse how long this took. I ended up watching a lot of these interviews so I could get the format down. It is very chaotic. Anyway—)

SO THERE’S THIS FUNKY LITTLE AURA TO EVERY BRUCE WAYNE INTERVIEW

And that aura is a trembling little chihuahua in a sweater. Let’s begin :)

There are multiple compilations of Bruce Wayne looking uncomfortable or awkward in interviews. It’s become a meme in Gotham.

He doesn’t know how not to be awkward. Let’s put it that way.

They always have to double mic him because he mumbles so much.

99% of the time, he looks like would rather be anywhere but in that chair.

So why do them? Two reasons:

1. to promote any charity or other humanitarian project that Wayne Enterprises is leading

2. he lost a bet to Alfred

The first reason is just business ofc, but interviewers will STILL always try to get something out of him. (It never works.)

“So Mr. Wayne, the public’s dying to know. Are you dating anyone?” Bruce, frantically eyeing his notecards: “The turtles are going extinct.”

The second one is much funnier because Alfred takes the liberty of signing him up for the most interesting one he can find.

LIKE???

WIRED: “Autocomplete Interview”

The first of this betting tradition gone wrong.

He’s just so pure in this one

“Did Bruce Wayne adopt a son?” “Yes! His name is Richard, Dick for short, and he is the light of my life.”

“Does Bruce Wayne run Wayne Enterprises?” “Yes, but I tend to put most of my time into Wayne Tech and the Wayne Foundation.”

“How much does Bruce Wayne tip?” “I usually just ask if they have any debt they need help with or what their rent is. It’s really no bother. I like to help :)”

“How did Bruce Wayne become rich?” “I inherited a lot of money at a young age. *whispering* Please don’t ask me for financial advice.”

“Where does Bruce Wayne live?” Gotham City, New Jersey! Lovely place…just don’t look at the crime rate.”

“Are Bruce Wayne and Batman dating?” “….What the fuck?”

“Is Bruce Wayne vegetarian?” “Yes. I don’t like killing things :(“

“Bruce Wayne…parents.” “…this isn’t a question-“

VOGUE: “24 Hours with Bruce Wayne”

Alfred was SO WRONG FOR THIS ONE

“So this is my living room…I really like black.”

There’s a little counter in the corner of the video for how much he spends in a day (99% is just tipping and donating)

They attend meetings with him for the latest charity campaign.

They ask him questions while he’s being styled for a photoshoot.

The juicy bits come when night falls

He keeps trying to get away so he can do Batman things

“Oh would you look at the time! I’m going to bed.” “Isn’t your room that way?” “Wow! You’re right! I completely forgot.”

He insists that the news stays on in the background while they film the late night portion

*bat screeches in the distance* “Those darn…mice.”

Police sirens can be heard in the distance, and Bruce just so happens to go to the bathroom for an hour.

Alfred (bless him, he feels horrible for organizing this) does his Absolute Best to distract the crew

“Master Wayne, there’s a foreign investor on the phone.”

“Master Wayne, why don’t you help me prepare a late night snack for our guests?”

“Master Wayne, your son would like you to read him another bedtime story.”

“Master Wayne, your friends here seem a bit tired. Why don’t you all take a break?”

When Bruce comes back, he has this weird black residue clumped in his eyelashes. Also, he has a fresh bruise on his face? “I slipped in the shower.”

BuzzFeed: “Thirst Tweets”

(Do you really think I wouldn’t include this? Have you met me?)

Bruce thought he was doing the Puppy Interview. He was too scared to correct them.

He tries to be polite the whole time, but he’s just…so flustered.

As usual, it starts out pretty tame and wholesome

“I just wanna boop him on the nose and snuggle him in a blanket and make him hot chocolate.” “Thank you :) I do like hot chocolate.”

“Bruce Wayne is so babygirl I just wanna ball him up and chew him like bubblegum” “I don’t think I understand the first part?”

“Why aren’t we talking about how gorgeous Bruce Wayne? Nobody talks enough about how gorgeous Bruce Wayne is. He is gorgeous. Bruce Wayne. Did you know how gorgeous Bruce Wayne is?” Bruce just hides his face behind his hands and mumbles, “Thanks.”

Then it gets worse :)

“Bruce Wayne could literally snap me in half and use me as a glow stick” Slightly concerned, “I don’t want to snap anyone in half.”

“Yes, the rumors are true. I am a sl- can I read that? A [redacted] for Bruce Wayne.” “Are you sure I’m allowed to say that?”

“Bruce Wayne can suffocate me and I’d resurrect just to say thank you” “Wait no, but that’s bad. Please don’t thank me :(”

“I would eat Bruce Wayne’s ass so hard. I would do anything he asked of me” “I…I will not be asking that. What-”

“I want to suck the soul out of Bruce Wayne’s [redacted] like a gogurt.” “…is this…a public twitter account??”

“I wanna bend- …oh.” “I wanna bend Bruce Wayne over, pull his hair, make him arch his back and wreck…him like an iron fist going through a wet sheet of paper.” *blushing furiously* “…That’s a really vivid metaphor.”

BBC 1: “Kids Ask Difficult Questions”

Underrated, honestly

I have a lot feelings about this one.

As usual, their starting line is, “Of course, if you refuse any of these questions, it means you hate children.” Bruce looks terribly distraught at that notion and tries to be honest as possible

Starts with cute stuff, and he MELTS at the kids’ cute voices

“Hi, Bruce Wayne! My name’s Katelyn, and my favorite fruit is pineapple. What’s the best birthday party you ever had?” “I don’t really like parties, but my son, Dick, and I went to the zoo for my 30th birthday :) We had a lot of fun.”

“My name’s Patrick. I’m eight, and I love legos. Have you ever worked with anybody you didn’t like?” *nods furiously* “I work with a lot of people I don’t like.”

“Who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?” *makes a face* “Batman, obviously.”

“My name’s Emily, and I love arts and crafts. What’s the last lie you’ve told?” “…I don’t hate children. I promise you, I don’t-”

“Hi Bruce! My name’s Jack, and I’m 7 year olds. How much money do you have, and can I borrow some for the book fair?” *producing his wallet out of habit* “Too much! Is like £100 enough?”

“Hi Bruce! My name’s Kitty, and I’m 8 years old :) What’s your biggest regret in life?” “I have so many regrets. *long pause* My emo phase.” “Oh, really? When was that.” “…two years ago.”

The last one breaks your heart oh god

“Hi Bruce, my name’s Darna, and I’m six. My mum told me about what happened when you were a kid. My friend’s mum just passed away, and I want to ask: What should I do to make her happy again?” Bruce gets really quiet for a moment then gently talks about grief in a kid-friendly manner. He talks about how, sometimes, it’s okay to be sad, but with the help of others, their friend can hopefully process it and move forward. “Encourage them to talk to someone if it they are still having a bad time. Thank you for trying to help your friend, Darna.”

Wayne Health just so happens to offer free grief counseling in their London and Manchester offices that same year.

First We Feast: “HOT ONES”

He suffers, and he suffers BAD

Like yes, he’s pretty good with spices (cuz he’s trained in a lot of places where spicy food is the Norm TM so he had to assimilate pretty quickly)

But he is also exactly the kind of person who would accidentally touch his face

He’s doing pretty well, barely flinching at the halfway point. Sean Evans is pretty impressed when Da Bomb is next, and Bruce barely reacts.

“How are you doing?” “Pretty good, I think? I mean, that one surprised me, but I’m fine.” “You are tearing up a little bit.” “Oh, really?” *rubs eyes without thinking*

The room goes dead quiet.

Bruce: “…[REDACTED].”

THE PAIN

Bruce freaks out and pours ice water over his eyes to flush out the heat.

It does. Not. work!!

The crew frantically tries to help but it’s too late and he’s got ice cold water all down his face and shirt now

Also he can no longer feel his eyes.

In the end, he just quietly suffers through the rest while looking like a drowned cat

Sean, worried: “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt too bad? You took that…surprisingly well.”

Bruce, in excruciating pain, tears running down his face: “I’m fine.”

Anthony Padilla: “I SPENT A DAY WITH THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD”

Down-to-earth is how I’d describe this one

Anthony is just magical

He is great at matching his interviewee’s energy. It’s probably the most proper interview with Bruce Wayne that doesn’t end in disaster.

How does he do it?

Gossip.

“Now, would you say this feud Lex Luthor has started is mutual or one-sided?” “Definitely one-sided.” “Really? Do you have an idea as to why he keeps trying to slander you?” “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t consider him the most honest guy.” “What makes you say that?” “He’s made a lot of empty promises to Metropolis about improving the economy.” “*gasp* What kind of promises?” “It’s been how many years since he promised to donate $10 million to Metropolis public schools?” “Not the children!” “I KNOW!!”

“What are your thoughts on Gotham City’s famous vigilante, Batman, and his particular brand of justice?” “I think that Batman is doing the best he can for Gotham.” “Do you approve or disapprove of any of his practices?” “I don’t like when he was so violent :/“

“So I heard that you’ve become a sort of meme in Gotham.” “Oh no.” “For this segment, we’ll be going through some of the most viral photos of you on the internet. And there are a lot.” “Oh god.” “Why don’t you explain this photo and the context behind it?” *dying inside*

“Which would you say is your favorite charity to work with?” “Well, I have a lot of favorites! There is the Gotham City Disaster Relief Fund, The Real Change Foundation with Mayor Real, Food for Thought which provides free school lunches across the country. The Wayne Foundation is donating to just about everything under the sun. The Children’s Recreation Project gives money to rec centers in underdeveloped neighborhoods-“

Bruce is so relaxed by the end. A complete breath of fresh air

Anthony Padilla, bless him, is really gentle about the topic of Bruce’s parents. They only cover it for like one question, then move on, but the question is, “How has the death of your parents influenced your perspective on the world today?”

Bruce goes into a monologue about how he now has a much more personal perspective on both politics and greed. He’s made it his quest to lower the crime rate in Gotham City through his positive influence on the community: supporting the Justice system, connecting with local communities, closing the wealth gap by personally donating to homeless shelters, soup kitchens, crisis centers, and educational funds. “I used to believe that seeking retribution would take away the grief that I feel. But after the flood two years ago, and Gotham City experienced this sort of collective loss, I realized that what we need is hope for a better tomorrow. And love is always stronger than hatred.”

It’s really sweet :(

Buzzfeed: “PUPPY INTERVIEW”

This was Alfred’s apology for Hot Ones

Bruce is literally vibrating with excitement

“Where’s the puppy?” “They’re coming.” “…There’s more than one?!”

He gets trampled by them

He literally can’t breathe for a minute from how happy he is.

You know when you’re voice goes higher up in pitch the more excited you get? They literally can’t hear him. Only the dogs can.

He talks to them like they understand him, like he uses a baby voice, but it’s a completely normal conversation, but for some reason they always understand him

“Come here. Wanna sit in my lap?” “That one’s actually a bit timid.” *puppy gently tumbles into his lap* “…okay.”

*puppy yapping over Bruce’s answer* “Shhhhh…inside voice, please.” Puppy immediately quiets down to the surprise of the whole staff

What I’m trying to say is Disney Princess Bruce Wayne, OKAY??

He’s just laying on the floor the whole time while they climb all over him

“I’m sorry, what was the question?”

Watching one gnaw on his finger like a chew toy “Oh, you’re so big and strong.”

“I forgot the question. Can you repeat that?”

“And what’s your name?” “I’m gonna call you Princess :D”

They are ripping his sweater to shreds. (It costs more than a car, but does he give a shit? NO.)

Actually trying to answer the question for once: “I think I would maybe go into…” *puppy licks his face* “*tearing up* oh my god”

One of them falls asleep in his HANDS

The older dogs come in later (all courtesy of a nearby shelter) and he is so kind and gentle with them :(

They’re queuing up the next question, and Bruce literally falls asleep with a big fluffy senior dog on his chest.

(They have to wake him up. He is very groggy for the rest of the interview, but it just makes his baby voice cuter.)

“Can I adopt all of them?” Alfred, off screen: “No.” “Why not?”

He’s pouting up a goddamn storm when he is told that he can’t adopt Princess

Until, “There’s a kitten interview??!!?!? Can I do that too?”

Hence the first time ever that Bruce volunteers to be interviewed

OKAY THAT’S ALL I HAVE THIS WAS A LOT OF WORK SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ISTG I READ YOUR GUYS’ TAGS LIKE THE MORNING PAPER

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk :DDDD

Okay, we've got height headcanons, face headcanons...but you know what we need? Name headcanons.

Okay, yes, I know, the ninja already have names. But their names originate from Earth cultures and Earth languages, which, uh, don't exist in Ninjago. Like!! The name 'Lloyd' is Welsh, but Wales isnt a place on the Ninjago map! And 'Zane' is German - but again, Germany doesn't exist in this fictional fantasy world either. How can Zane's name be German if Germany is nowhere on the Ninjago map?

Realistically I know this is because this show has painfully messy worldbuilding and they gave all the main characters simple European names that their young American audience would be able to easily identify and pronounce. BUT I love to overthink things so that's what I'm gonna do.

Logic would dictate that although their names have specific cultural contexts within our world, they have different contexts and origins within the world of the story. Their names would logically have some kind of different meaning in relation to the cultures, languages, and dialects that exist within Ninjago itself.

This is already canon, to some extent. The name 'Nya' already has a canon in-universe origin, with her being named after a legendary Merlopian hero - from this we can assume the name Nyad and its derivative Nya are Merlopian in origin. Which suggests the idea that the same is true for all the other characters as well, we just haven't gotten the chance to get backstories for their names yet. And there is so much untapped potential in exploring what their names could mean in-universe.

Here, I'll start with my own personal headcanons about the subject:

Most names in this series come from 'Classical Ninjargon', the ancient dialect that was spoken in the time of the FSM but gradually evolved into Modern Ninjargon, which is the dialect commonly spoken by the characters to this day. However, a lot of words, terms, and names still rely in some part on their classical roots.

'Kai' isn't really a name, so much as it is a noun. It's commonly used in the names of towns and villages. For example, Jamanakai Village. 'Kai' means 'shelter' - or, more specifically, 'a form of barrier or protection that defends against cold weather.' It's not a very common name to give to children, though, but it appears in the names of villages and settlements all across Ninjago. It seems fitting, considering the kind of person Kai is. His parents gave him that name as a reference to its more specific meaning. Shelter from the cold. During the Serpentine War, Ray and Maya's dreams of starting a family were what gave them comfort and kept them going. Kai wasnt just named as a shelter from the cold, but a shelter from despair as well.

Nya's name has its obvious origins - she was named after Nyad, the storybook hero who befriended whales and defeated Wojira. Nyad was also Merlopian, where her name means 'courage'. Likewise, Nya's name has similar connotations. Of course, Maya hadn't known that meaning when she named her child, as Merlopia was just a myth and its language much the same. She did know of the fairytale, though, and Maya's own mother had told her that story as a child, so she wanted to give her daughter a name that was meaningful in that same way.

'Jay' comes from a regional dialect of Classical Ninjargon that became prevalent in the Sea of Sands. The name itself originates from the term 'jairu', meaning "blessed storm." Some historians speculate the name goes back further than that, with the term 'jairu' originally meaning "Wojira's favor"...but there is much debate about that. Both Jay and Jairu are pretty popular names in the Sea of Sands. Jay was an unexpected but highly valued gift to Ed and Edna, just as a rainstorm is in a desert.

'Cole' was originally the word for earth/dirt, but over the centuries its frequent use in Classical poetry led to it acquiring a myriad of more specific meanings - 'solid foundation', 'stable ground', 'dependable and reliable', 'steady and unshaken amidst conflict', etc. The word itself has a lot of very poetic, very vivid interpretations, and when most people name their children 'cole', thats what they're referencing. But not Lily. No, she knew the name historically meant 'earth', and she wanted his name to be a pun. It was 100% intentional

'Zane' isnt so much a name as it is a colloquial term, from the Birchwood region. Even though the word has Classical roots, it still remains widely used in that region. The word 'zane', a noun, is in reference to the constant, unmelting snowcover that blankets the region year-round. In Classical Ninjargon the term means, "endlessly persevering" - but over time it became repurposed as their term for their endless snow. Dr. Julien always thought the snow was beautiful, and named his son after its remarkable endurance

Lloyd's name has an interesting history to it. In the time of the Stone Wars, when the FSM initially split Ninjago and sealed away the Overlord, the people of that era celebrated the occasion by turning it into a holiday. They called it "belloid", which Classically means "victory over darkness." Eventually a new tradition emerged where children who were born on the holiday were named after it - and so the name "lloyd" came to be. And although the holiday evolved and is now more commonly known as Festival Day (yes, thats a canon holiday), with its history and origins fading out of public awareness, the tradition still persists. But heres the catch: Lloyd wasnt born on that holiday. His dad's reasons for naming him Lloyd were twofold. First, because he made a promise to himself to resist the venom's corruption for the sake of his son, and the name "victory over darkness" served as a testament to that promise. And second, because 'lloyd' sounds like 'lord', and giving his child a pun name sounds exactly like something Garm would do

And of course, since the ninjas' rise to fame, they have inspired some increasingly popular baby names. 'Lloyd' has been the baby name of the year for four years in a row now, which is something the others tease him relentlessly for.

i updated it due to current happenings

edit: FUCKING REBLOG IT. LIKES DONT MEAN SHIT!

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

U.S. congressman ralph norman stating he hopes bats go extinct, just earlier this week as he voted against endangered species protections.

His office, where you can have statements or messages passed on to him:

(202) 225-5501

Oh damn Macklemore is speaking at the Free Palestine rally

Felt that it’s important to share videos like this too.

"Ah, Sundays." Aizawa sighed contently. "Where school's not in session and I can relax and catch up on my shows." His ears picked up the sound of someone running up to his door. He sighed. "And right on cue," Shouta went to answer the door. "A loud blond comes to ruin my peace."

"Eraserhead!" Mt. Lady in an odd state of undress, "You gotta help me! Deku found me banging his mom!"

Shouta could feel the oncoming headache. "And why are you here?" He seethed.

"I wanna keep banging his mom."

"Right, why did I expect anything different." Shouta rubbed his temples. "Guest room's the third door on the right."

"Thanks, Eraserhead!" Mt. Lady said as she rushed down the hall.

Shouta closed the door before it was knocked on again. He opened the door to find his friend, Kayama Nemuri, the Pro Hero Midnight. "You better not also be fucking Midoriya's mother."

"Shouta!" Kayama gasped, "I would never!" She paused. "Now, Bakugou's mother…"

"Bakugou Mitsuki is married." Shouta frowned.

"Oh, Masaru's well aware." Nemuri winked.

"Disgusting. Hide under my couch."

"You got it!"

Shouta tried to close the door, but caught sight of Miruko rushing at his apartment, so he simply opened the door wider. "Please tell me you're not boning one of my student's mothers." He drawled.

"Nope!" Miruko grinned.

Shouta quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm boning Todoroki Fuyumi!" Miruko guffawed.

"Bathroom's the door on the left." Shouta sighed, pointing a thumb down the hall.

"Nice, you're a bro!" Miruko grinned, before running down the hall.

Shouta sighed before closing his door, only for three of his students to crash through his window, only one of them characteristically angry. The other two were uncharacteristically angry.

"Problem children-" Shouta began before they all started screaming over one another.

"Mt. Lady-"

"Midnight-"

"Miruko-"

"My mom-"

"MY FOLKS-"

"My sister-"

The door slammed open behind Shouta, and Fukukado Emi, the bane of his existence, strode in. "Eraser!" She announced, "I'm back from the home for troubled women!"

"Checking in, I hope." Shouta muttered.

"Nope! I was meeting troubled women!" Fukukado laughed. "And let me tell you about this real beaut of a babe I met in room 319-"

"Wait," Todoroki stopped her, "Did this woman have white hair and brown eyes?"

"Yep!" Fukukado replied happily, "How'd you know about lil' Rei? You her brother?"

Todoroki inhaled through his nose, then turned to Shouta. "Aizawa-sensei, permission to blow up the apartment?"

"Fuck it, go nuts."

"Thank you."

There was a cold snap, a flare of fire, and the apartment exploded.

And then it exploded again.

And once more, for good measure.