@depressivecouple Some Great Advice From A Kind User, Had To Post💗

Experience is Wisdom

Shame is often the companion of weakness, because lying on the floor it is difficult to preserve dignity. Suddenly I sense how others have to feel at such moments. You want understanding, not advice. For a long time, I was just looking at the nice feelings. I want to walk through life in a good mood. What am I supposed to do with sadness and fear? I denied myself and my feelings.

Where does this emptiness come from? What can I do to make myself feel better? How long will the darkness last? The difficult thing about depression is that there is often no satisfactory answer. At least not fast. But how do I encounter something that has no reference? No beginning, no end?

Things to know when you love someone suffering from depression

“When the depression holds you down, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water that paralyzes you with its weight and even the simplest tasks are difficult at once. You feel lazy, mentally and physically, and nothing can free you from it.”

Outsiders often find it difficult to understand what happens in people suffering from depression. To this day, some prejudices and myths about the disease persist, which makes it difficult not only for those affected, but also for the people close to them.

The worst thing is fear It’s not just the fear that it will never be over. Or that it could get worse. It is also the fear that friendships or relationships will break with it. That people turn away because they simply don’t understand the situation. Because they can’t understand that appointments sometimes have to be cancelled at the last minute because it’s just not a good day. If you love or are friends with a depressed person, you should let him know as often as possible that this fear is unfounded.

It’s a real disease. Depressions are considered mental illness, but that doesn’t make them any less bad and no less noticeable. They are not visible, and perhaps not tangible, but that does not mean that they are not there. In fact, they can be proven. If the brain lacks chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline or norepinephrine, this triggers a mental imbalance.

The simplest things can be a big challenge For a person with depression, it can be a challenge to get out of bed. To take a shower. To drive to work. Those who have never suffered from depression cannot understand this. That’s why you just have to trust that the person is telling you the truth and not trying to compare your reality with his or her reality.

There’s not always a logical reason Depression is deceitful. Affected people can have a good day and suddenly the depression pulls them into the abyss. There does not always have to be an understandable reason for this. Sometimes sadness can hardly be explained, the pain can hardly be put into words. Don’t try to find a reason you can relate to. Try to accept the situation.

Depression doesn’t disappear when you “pull yourself together” Sayings like “Get a grip on yourself” or “get over it” are incredibly hurtful for people with depression. They reinforce their sense of disappointment. Of course, they try to overcome the disease. But just like any other disease, it doesn’t work overnight. It’s a fight, not just a decision.

You probably don’t know how bad it really is People with depression often try to hide the real abysses of their condition. Often they don’t want to admit to themselves how bad they feel and that they need help. If you love a person with depression, it is quite possible that he has not told you how gloomy it really is in him. Maybe because he wants to protect you both and your relationship.

Your loved one doesn’t want to be a burden on you People who fight against depression don’t want to be a burden on others. They don’t want to transfer their negative mood to others. Depressive do not seek attention or compassion - on the contrary. What they crave the most is to be treated like everyone else.

There is more than one reality When someone is obviously going through a difficult time, it is a natural impulse to describe his own experiences to make it clear that one can understand his or her suffering. But in most cases you can’t do that. Your reality has nothing to do with his or her reality. Most of all, you can help by listening.

Their depression has nothing to do with you If you love a person with depression, it is important to understand that his or her state of mind has nothing to do with you. That can be very difficult sometimes. If your partner is in a bad mood, the fear that it could be because of yourself is obvious. But it is important to understand that a person’s depression basically has nothing to do with anyone but him-/herself - not you.

It’s okay if you’re dissatisfied Loving someone who suffers from depression is a challenge. They need your love and attention, they need to know that you support them. But that doesn’t mean that your feelings and moods count less. If you’re dissatisfied, you can say the same thing. This is the only way to find out what works best for both of you.

Missing you so much

Everything feels so heavy without him

what am I supposed to do

Cant trust them. I dont know them. Something is missing. Cant even trust myself.

It feels like I cant go on any longer like this

I dont like the thought that the things I remember really well right now are a part of me. I want them to unhappen.

All these thoughts in my head I dont want to think. I really cant talk about some of my thoughts. I ’d have to kill myself if I ’ll ever talk about it. It ’s too much. I am too small.

How am I supposed to handle all this stuff?

Contacts

Contacts imply the willingness to show myself. Without contact to the people around me I would become even more lonely. Yes, I am actually dependent on it in difficult situations. As the mental pressure increases, help takes on a different meaning.

Some people love themselves so little that they cannot understand when someone else loves them

Being on the ground also has something soothing about it. I can't get any lower. The play is over. I don't have to fool myself anymore. It's hard for me to see myself weak. Suddenly, I'm not the one who's there for others anymore. I need to ask for help. Being vulnerable is unusual to me.

The picture with the curves you drew

Over time I learned to deal with difficult feelings like loneliness, fear and hopelessness. That doesn't mean they've lost their horror for me. It means a lot more, they're familiar to me. I can face them differently.

I find the loss of strength much more serious. Dealing with the inner emptiness is already a challenge for me. To still go further, to raise me up again and again. Without energy, even that becomes a farce. When simple daily routines exhaust me, the fear grows that I will not be able to get up again at some point.

If a girl/boy you liked was mentally ill, would you still want her/him as your gf/bf?

Yes, of course I will/would still love you/her/him.Sometimes it's just difficult to show my love because in those moments when you're/he’s/she’s splitting on me, I don't know how to behave towards you/her/him, so that it's not uncomfortable for you/her/him.I(’d) still love you the same, I just don’t know how to express it in those moments.

The Great Void

A shadow lay over my life. The laughing, the happiness became less. The sadness grew. At first I was astounded. The change came creeping and yet unstoppable. I felt a void in which everything seemed to drown. A black hole in which my zest for life sank. I lead a rich life. Rich in meaning, rich in hobbies, rich in people, rich in tasks, rich in wealth. Yet this great void in me. Is that possible? Is that allowed? Am I not grateful enough? What have I done wrong?