I Got Heaven-Mannequin Pussy

i love shoshanna and ray (separately and together despite their problematic nature) like i don’t know why they both make me feel this eternal sadness especially ray.

like i genuinely love girls so much! hannah’s ocd episode makes me feel vulnerable and same with jessa. even marnie makes me feel sad.

thinking about how last year when i was genuinely going through it because of a situationship and how in the midst of it all i was having so much fun and how this year im going THROUGH it and i can’t even blame her.

i think about how it was the first time i really liked someone and that i could see it evolving from simple messages and how i was so forthcoming with what i liked and how much they meant to me. and told them how id appreciate it back but never got that. im so glad its over and i don’t harp on it anymore but its like will someone communicate like how i do.

i want someone to tell me they hate me or that they need me or that they don’t want me. i genuinely don’t care if it’s a negative thing i just would rather it be communicated.

i hate when people are nonchalant even when i give them a way out. like im asking you, if you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to but they don’t take it. they’ll still reply with the most blandest shit and it’s not like i want much i just want to have a convo

this is what they texted me:

“You just are always so worried about so many things pertaining to talking to me & idk why you’re stressing yourself out so much”

for the last week i’ve been rereading it and like trying to understand how they know me more than my friends.

We Are Who We Are: 1.01 (2020) dir. Luca Guadagnino

I AM INSANE

taylor russell in bones and all (2022) dir. luca guadagnino

guys we did it. we held on till may