There’s Something About The Games Ability To Just Let You Be Feral That Delights Me. I Am Nowhere Near

Wondering if other fae (or fae adjacent) can relate to this notion: we don’t seem to be social creatures. Maybe this has more to do with my particular clade, but from what I’ve observed and heard us fae don’t seem to be terribly social.

I have one companion who I seriously talk to and many more friends (I suppose they would be called) who I interact with by observing. I engage with people, but it’s always through this veil of humanity. I never interact as my real self. And I don’t really feel the need to.

I have a theory that changelings don’t require the companionship of humans since we’re something else, but that we might enjoy it since we have to blend in to some extent. However I only have my own experience to go off of, so I can’t ever be certain that this applies to others.

I’m not sure if this is purely due to the fact that I’m a changeling or if other types of fae experience this or if it’s simply my personality. Regardless of the reason, I am quite content alone. I enjoy being around people and observing as a way of entertaining myself, but I don’t seem to have the same social needs as the humans I’m surrounded by.

trapped in this body

rats driving little rat cars

the cool thing about working with animals is that I have one singular neurotypical colleague (as far as I know). and it’s become super obvious to me that the way autistic people relate to animals is fundamentally different to how allistics relate to animals. and the way people with ADHD relate to animals is fundamentally different to those without. 

(only one of my colleagues has Tourette’s and only two of us have OCD, so I don’t think that’s enough to make any grand sweeping statements). 

anyway. a real interaction between two of my colleagues today.

ADHD: Maggie won’t stop barking at me. I think she’s upset.

autistic: let me go talk to her. I can fix this. 

and that’s not uncommon? my autistic colleagues and I seem to talk to the animals to a much greater extent than anyone else. my ADHD colleagues and I seem to be the best at associating the correct name and breed and dietary requirements to the correct dog, which is weird, because I can’t do the same when it comes to humans.

I know that most people communicate with their animals but… it’s different in a way I can’t quite explain. the communication and connection seems so much deeper… I don’t know, it’s just wonderful. also, the fact that so many ND people work with me… that alone… indicates something. 

Little moodboard for myself featuring brown treesnakes. (None of these pictures are mine)

The appearance outwardly of my physical body is an illusion. I wish the fur, wings, fangs and whatnot could actually be seen. It's there, but the illusion, the veil, the glamour..

i hate when i see other alterhumans call physical nonhumans/holotheres delusional. As someone who struggles with delusions and identifies as a holothere partially cuz of that it makes me annoyed. We don't owe you an explanation for our physical nonhumanity. don't assume we all are delusional thats harmful and just wrong. also don't ask us if we are physically non human cuz of delusions! thats not ok and we don't owe you an answer.

I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and friend

i was alone on friday since the colleague that usually sticks by me at uni was absent, and by god was it the most peaceful, blissfull uni day

I like the colleague but god i'm not that social of a species, i don't need to belong, i don't need to feel included in the human game of let's be social for the sake of it or to be "understood" or "seen", i don't care, i just want to be alone. They are not my kin and i do not see them as fellow hares to casually hang around to graze.

I want to read my books and do my reaserch, draw, post, draft my thoughts, get lost in whatever corner of wilderness i can find, headphones in and let the veil drop for at least a second. The human's need for socialising for no real reaon or else you'll be asked "what's wrong????" is so so suffocating.

being both autistic and having adhd is just unstoppable force: *need to brush teeth because teeth feel bad™️* vs immovable object: *intense hyperfocus and horrible executive functioning*