I Want To Sit On Diavolo’s Face So Fucking Bad 

Simeon, I want you!!!

I was thinking about the whole “Humans are space orcs thing” and I got an idea.

Imagine than in far future, humans are part of some king of intergalactic union with other species, but other species only became advanced enough for space travel after they kind of “outgrown” the “animal part” of their brain. You know they became these highly intelligent very rational beings. And they put their effort to creating better tech after that.

While humans got to the same level just by their sheer stubbornness (you know, our need to figure out if we could and not if we should). Like we just kept going and somehow got to the same level as these other beings.

Humans would be the only intergalactic species that can go insane very easily, that is at war with other people of their own species, Earth is the only “advanced planet” where irrational violent crimes still happen, where people are able to hurt eachother over the smallest things.

So (from the aliens POV) you would have this odd little fella, who’s as intelligent as you are but the second he doesn’t get good sleep all of his intelligence seemingly disappears and he looks like he’s ready to shoot everyone on the space ship and then himself.

But it would probably also mean that humans have the best art. Because they still have their impulses and deep desires that don’t make sense. Since art can’t be made completely rationally. (Or at least great art imo, you still need the emotions in that to make it stand out.)

So I imagine this alien on a mission with their human copilot and the alien is constantly asking the human to connect his fkin Spotify to the space ship speakers cos they really want to listen to fkin Rasputin from Boney M.

bomria's 8 female hairstyles

starting the new year off right with my one and only boyfailure wife loml

I NEED SOMEONE TO BE MY PLATONIC ROOMMATE TO HAVE AN INCREDIBLY DEEP CONNECTION WITH IN NO WAY ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON BOTH THE HIGHEST HIGHS AND LOWEST LOWS, TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, SHARE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS, BE ABLE TO BOTHER AND CARE FOR SOMEONE, FULLY RELAX IN THE PRESENCE OF, HAVE AFFECTIONATE MOMENTS WITHOUT TENSION, RECIEVE COMFORT, GIVE ATTENTION, DO FUN AND WACKY ACTIVITIES, GET INTO STRANGE SCENARIOS, AND TO GET INTO A SOFT BANTER IN THE LATE EVENING AS WE TALK THROUGH OUR DAYS AND WHAT THE NEXT ONE MAY FORTALE AS WE SOFTLY LAUGH AND MELT WITHIN EACHOTHERS PRESENCE AND NOBODY EVEN FOR A SPLIT SECOND CONSIDERS US TO BE PARTNERS AND YET WE’RE CLOSER THAN ANY DUO THERE WERE TO EVER EXIST!

FUCK MORTY AND RICK OR GLAM AND CHES, I WANT WHAT SHERLOCK AND WATSON HAVE - A DEEP BOND WITHOUT NO MORE REASON RATHER THAN BEING JUST PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER, FIND PARTS OF YOURSELF IN THE OTHER WHILE THE THINGS YOU LIKE THE OTHER BRINGS TO THE CONVERSATION AND SITUATIONSHIP.

PLEASE REALISE THIS ISNT A NEED FOR A FOUND FAMILY NOR A LITTLE COWORKER WITHIN MY HOME BUT A PROPER EXTENSION OF THE HEART INTO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!!!

TO BE ABLE TO BE VULNERABLE, A BITCH, AN ABSOLUTE UNPREDICTABLE MESS, A TERRIBLE MAN, A HORRIBLE WOMAN, AN INSANE DOG, AN OVERLY GIDDY CHILD, AND MUCH MUCH MORE WITH THE OTHER SIMPLY UNDERSTANDING.

UNDERSTANDING IT ALL. THE WHYS AND HOWS AND WHAT TO DO. JUST.. BEING THERE, ALL CHILL, AND ABLE TO BE READY FOR ANY AND ALL SITUATIONS AS WE EMBARK ON DELIGHTFUL ADVENTURES!!

Little D’s fluff

What do you call a group of Little D’s? A pack? A flock? Maybe a herd? MC’s personal favourite was “the void” since when the creatures crowded in one spot their small black silhouettes would melt into a big shadow and form something akin to a moving black hole. At first, it made them kind of uneasy, since the smaller demons did come across as just as sinister as the strongest of their kind. From a further distance, they resembled a little puffball, upon closer inspection, everyone would notice that their needle-like teeth could easily pierce human skin and their claws and horns were always perfectly sharpened. The big eyes would make for a cute feature if it wasn’t for the animalistic glint in them. Some of them spoke human languages, some only knew the infernal language and some could, or chose to, only chirp twitter happily. It would seem so that they had some kind of pack instinct and would often crowd together, which would always form a cacophony of different sounds.

Keep reading

the dichotomy of girlhood

I let my pussy make my decisions, call that clitical thinking

Obey Me! Brothers Accidentally Hurting MC

this is fun and this is silly and i like it!!!! TW: mentions of blood and injuries

Thanks so much for the love on my last post!!

Lucifer

Lucifer is yelling at his brothers (typical) but they are getting the lecture of a LIFETIME

hes yelling, scolding, the whole nine yards

you come out of your room to see what the comotion is about and stand behind him

he doesnt see you, and while waving his arms he accidentally smacks you with the back of his hand

immedietly grabs your face to see if your okay

yells at the brothers to go to their room

please tell him your fine, hes so worried

will be sweet for the rest of the week

flowers,dinner, alone time whatever you want

Mammon

Hes running away from Lucifer

probably running up his debts again

turns the corner at RAD and doesnt see you

immediately runs into you and sends you to the floor

grabs you before you can smack your head

the most guilty giving you a million apologies immedietly

grabbing your head and appendages to check for blood or brusies

"Im sorry! Im sorry! are you okay? you dont have one of those concussions do ya?"

when you tell him your fine he relaxes

until he hears Lucifer yelling again

He grabs you buy the arm, yanks you up, and starts running with you

Levi

(i saw this as a headcannon somewhere like this and ill link it if i find it but this is so accurate)

You wanted to see Levi so what do you do? go to his room to see what hes doing

You knock and give the passcode, but hear no response

you hear a loud game and some aggravated sounds]

inside, Levi is tired of this boss in his game. this is the millionth time hes played this and he can't get past! hes over it.

in anger, he chucks his controler at the door... the second you walk in and check on him

the controler hits the door frame and smacks you in the face, you cover your face and taking a few steps back

bro immediately screams

scrambling to get to you

thinks you've died

yells so bad everyone hears him screaming and comes out

"ive killed my player 2! i cant go on! im the worst, you must hate me now! your gonna have brain damage and its all my fault-"

Grab him by the shoulders and tell him you'll live and your not mad at him

Satan

(saw this in multiple hc,in different ways, ill link them if i see it, gonna roll with this)

Satan is PISSED

Mammon stole one of his rare books to sell online, and hes hot on his tail

hes got one of those books in his hands, and as mammon turns a corner he chucks one it at him

right in the way of the front door, that you open immediately... getting a book to the face as your carrying groceries in

grabs you before you fall to the floor

checking you for injuries

hes read up on human biology and is immedietly worried

he apologizes so quick and so many times

when you tell him your fine he turns to mammon and he runs

he makes sure your okay before booking to mammon to whoop him

Asmo

your helping him clean out his closet

Hes on a ladder reaching for his spring clothes when he slips and falls

when your right behind him.. about to grab that box from him...

yall fumble and he falls on top of you

"oh my! Darling are you okay?"

on the floor he grabs your face and checks your face for any pain

when he sees your blush he blushes too, grabing your cheek

"oh honey, us stuck in this situation seems like fate dont you?"

Beel

You and Beel are tasked with setting up dewcorations for Diavolos newest festival

Beel is running out of streamers so you think of handing him another roll will be so helpful!

you walk up behind him on the ladder

"hey! got another roll for yo-"

Beel, started, turns around and accidentally elbows you right in the eye

you stuble back, clutching your eye

he grabs you, immediately teary eyed. thinking youll hate him, that your afraid of him

it takes you and solomon telling him over and over that your fine

puts an ice pack on your eye and holds it there

at dinner, he offers you more food

"here, have this, you need to get your strength up"

Belphegor

hes set the perfect trap

when Lucifer walks through this door he will be hit with a bucket of devildom tree sap!

what he doesnt expect was you walking through the door before him

covered in sap and clearly upset he looks at you in shock

Worst case senario: unlocked

He gets chewed out by Lucifer first

But spends the rest of the night getting the sap out of your hair while watching movies and apologizing a million times

Makes beel go and get your favorite snacks and cuddles you all night