Ok I’m Inventing A New Tag Game. When You Get Tagged You Need To Say One Thing You Really Like About

Thank you so much @jockallensworld and @myfallenangel04 it really made me happy 💕 I consider both of you amazing too

I’m tagging @marycecilyy, @amrrygae, @vanillaamoursucrethings, @momiyi-chan, @distantwhores, @candysweetposts, @ioana23, @my-love-for-leiftan, @mimiayachan, @satansfaery because all of you guys are awesome and I really love you 💕💕

Greatest Tumblr Award (Re-boot)

Fa:

also Fa:

@vanillaamoursucrethings @marycecilyy I’m not even sorry

random addition that I just remembered:

the best thing in MCL was that little demo game with Chinomimi, Nath and that elephant sculpture. I played it like. 20000 times a day, I loved it. I was ashamed that a game with such a title got my attention, I didn't dare to sign up at that time, but I went back every day to play that little demo

removing it was worse than removing the three LIs from HSL, change my mind

favorite memory from prime mcl time?

I... don’t really know what you mean as “prime MCL time”? but I guess HSL, since I know many people enjoyed that season the most

sadly, I wasn’t here around that time. I started playing in 2016 (I think? I don’t remember anymore), then stopped when UL aired (I got mad at losing Kentin, okay???? 😭). I only came back around a year ago and that’s when I really joined the fandom as well

I don’t know if this counts as “favourite memory”, but the expos and goodies (including the mangas) are something I really miss, even if I haven’t personally experienced them, they sound truly amazing! also, not an exact memory as well, but I 100% support the change of the art style (illustrations and sprites); they look much better this way

as much as I quit because of UL, I’m a bit sad that I wasn’t part of the fandom then, since I can still see so many posts from that time. amazing fanarts, fanfictions, the fans interacting with each other... it might be because there are less things from the HSL era on Tumblr, but for me it seems like the golden time of the fandom was during UL

so yeah, I don’t have many memories and I’m also not sure I understood and answered your question correctly 😂 if not, I’m sorry, my brain is completely drained

my answer will be under the cut as well (I couldn't write that long answer haha), but I do have to clarify in the beginning that I'm not a doctor or something, so this is just what I think I would do in a similar situation

tw: eating disorder

I don't know what your exact "goal" with weight is, at some parts it seemed like you want to lose weight, at some others it seemed like the loss of appetite is worrying you... which can absolutely coexist of course, and here goes what I want to say:

I haven't heard about this Zoloft before, apparently it's an antidepressant. even if losing appetite was listed as a symptom, I don't think it should be ignored (two weeks seems an awful lot for a side effect to last, or at least to me - I haven't had any meds with serious side effects yet). if you can trust your doctor with it (because I know there are some assholes out there with a Dr. before their name...), I think you should tell her about it. maybe you could switch to another kind of antidepressant which doesn't have / has less serious side effects (only if switching to another one doesn't make you uncomfortable, of course)

about the weight loss thing itself, again, I don't know what you want to do about your weight (and you absolutely don't have to share if you don't want to). but, anything you want to do with your weight should be connected to your eating and moving (?). even if you want to lose weight, I'm about 100% sure starving yourself isn't the right way to do it; you don't even necessarily have to eat less. there are many types of diets and special eating methods (?) that you can choose from. yes, it takes time to browse through them all and the one that you think you like might not even be available to you because (bad example): it would require you to eat pineapple every day, but you live in the Arctic; but it's still worth in the end. you don't need to starve yourself, you need food even if you want to lose weight. (also, important note that as much as you shouldn't starve yourself, you shouldn't stuff yourself either. for very different reasons, but I had a short period where I didn't want to eat much, but I tried to notice when I started feeling "enough" and what felt like "too much", and eat an amount somewhere in between these two. no need to eat until you're sick of it)

so yeah, all in all, I think it would be good if you talked with your doctor (maybe even through the phone, if that's okay with both of you - the longer you keep losing weight, the more serious it can become later on), because the side effects you mentioned are kind of worrying to me :c and if you want to lose weight, but differently, it could be helpful to look after some kind of diet (maybe even with the help of a dietetic - if there's one available)

aaaaaaand also again, I'm not a doctor at all, I just tried to imagine myself into your situation and think about what might be helpful, I hope I could help <3

[the two (?)s are because I'm not sure I used the right word, I'm sorry if I didn't make sense :D also, I'll tag this post with your tags as well, so people can avoid it if it triggers them]

ed rant under the cut bc this might trigger ppl and i dont want that :(

i started zoloft two weeks ago, i'm on the lowest dose and most of the side effects have worn off (still getting headaches most days, some dizziness, the fatigue and sleepiness is subsiding which iam v grateful for bc dealing with that on top of chronic fatigue wasn't easy)

but like..... i'm absolutely not hungry. i don't feel the need to eat and i'm content with very small portions. i know loss of appetite and nausea are possible side effects, but i wasn't expecting it to hit this hard dfherh. i dont have much nausea, but mostly i can't eat before noon, all i have is water and coffee, and trying to eat just makes me lowkey nauseous. it's triggering some good ol ed thinking patterns, and i kinda hope i can stay on this medication once i see my doctor again. smh. because i'll keep losing weight. so far i'm down 40 lbs since august 2020, and i want to lose maybe another 15 lbs. i don't have a scale and only get weighted every 3 months, when i get my birth control injection, so that's at least? helping me not spiral too much?

when i saw my doctor in april, my doctor wanted to send me in for a psych eval, because yes i was seeing her for anxiety symptoms, but i also have depression and psychotic symptoms. so there was talk about maybe switching out medications after we have a proper diagnosis, and she talked of seroquel to really target all my symptoms including the psychosis. i'm terrified because weight gain is a side effect, and i really don't want to go back.

i dont know. there's a lot going on in my head and i'm trying my best to eat at least a bit to keep me going, but this whole loss of appetite is really triggering and i'm leaning into it to restrict, even tho i can't do as much being chronically ill now, i become weak very fast if i try to fast :(

that's all rgihrtgi if you've read this thank u, idk if anyone will do anyway. i feel too self conscious about this to properly journal about it. probably will write armin fanfics bc this is how i cope

Eldarya Valentine's Day 2021 continuation - Leiftan

beware: only read at your own risk, it sucks you can't blame me

Words: 350

Guardian's P. O. V.

"It truly is an amazing sight" I nodded hearing Leiftan's words, though my eyes were still on the flying companions. As they finished their dance, I turned my head back to Leiftan, only to catch him staring at me. His face became red immediately, looking to the sideways a little.

"I totally agree with you" he said when he finally met my eyes again.

I rolled my eyes.

"Wow, that was pretty cliché…" It was actually sweet of him, but he doesn't have to know that.

Leiftan let out a chuckle, then wrapped me tighter in his arms, pressing his lips against my forehead.

"What do you say we go back to HQ? We stayed up all night, I'm sure you're tired by now."

"I don't know… seeing the sun up in the sky, makes me imagine I just woke up. I'm energetic, to be honest. Also, don't forget we slept for seven years." I lightly elbowed Leiftan, though it was quite the challenge, given how we were still embracing each other. He pretended to be hurt, letting me go in the process.

I stepped towards the edge of the cliff, looking down below us. I could see the waves splash against the rocks.

"You won't jump or something, right?" I heard Leiftan's voice behind me.

"Don't worry, I won't give you that much paperwork. I was just looking at the side of the cliff anyway, I noticed some caves I haven't seen before. What do you think we could find there? "

"Most likely nothing, since the companions flew out from there" he pointed out.

A smile lit up on my face.

"It sounds like the perfect spot for a break then!"

"I thought you weren't tired" Leiftan teased me. "I'd prefer lying under that tree though. I know it's not as adventurous as climbing rocks, but I hope it will do. "

The sun started its journey through the sky as we settled down in the grass, my head on Leiftan's chest. Despite feeling full of energy, it felt good to relax a little in each other's arms.

No height, no depth, no fear can shake me. Held firm, your hands will never fail me.

Hey, I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself. Just wanted to tell you that we are missing you, so (no pressure) come back when you will be ready.

ahhh this ask was literally the first thing I saw when I came back after a short break, sorry for only answering now ~_~

(I have to be honest, the thought of not answering at all crossed my mind so I could just see it in my askbox forever, it made me so happy <3 now I must create a tag on my blog for kind things!!! smh)

anyway haha yeah, I'm really sorry for this "wave" of activity - I'm either on the net 24 / 7, or I ignore everyone and everything until the leaves start falling down, there's no in between. I'm trying to be more active and write more! and really, my endless gratitude and love to anyone who cares about me enough to leave a reassuring message like this

looking at you @marycecilyy, @otomes-and-tears and @louis-ratking ;)

my friends r so talented. rb if ur friends are talented

Today is New Year's Eve, typically my favorite Christmas festivity. But this year is different, this year is harder and sadder, because everything that makes festivities special has been taken away 😭

After this year, I'll never take for granted all the people around me. I'll never take for granted my grandma's cooking and love, my mother's renovated hopes making her the soul of the party, my brother's awkwardness, my teary great-aunt, my grandpa's falling asleep in the midst of chaos, my tipsy uncles, my aunty's cheerfulness, my dear cousin throwing me shrimp's heads, the little children running everywhere... I'll miss our traditions: everyone wearing matching red underwear bought by grandma's, my uncle starting to eat the grapes at the quarter bells, my aunt forgeting at least one grape, jumping on the right foot when the clock strikes twelve, the gold jewelry shining inside champagne flutes during our midnight toast... and midnight hugs and kisses. 

Today there won't be none of that, not for me, not for so many people in the world. Today we won't celebrate this holiday as it should be celebrated (well, whatever your traditions are where you come from), but we'll keep fighting against this pandemic to celebrate the next. We're not close to our old normal yet, but we're getting there. There's more hope for this year to come than we've ever wished for another, and one day more of resisting this is one day less for it to end.

And for mental well-being to come back, thank you very much.

To all my friends here: celebrate as you want or feel, or don't celebrate if you're not up to it. I wish you and your love ones health and safety and love 💕 And to all of you who've lost someone, you who have to see an empty chair, I send you strength and all the virtual hugs in the world.

I hope for a 2021 filled with you lovely people!

˹you are not the mistakes you have made˼

Currently I'm suffering from My Candy Love addiction. As you can see, Nathaniel is my favourite 😍

my writing

requests: open (rules for requesting)

My Candy Love masterlist

Eldarya masterlist