Some more baby Bruce role swap au click here for the full au guide
Red Hood: Kill the joker!
Batman: I can't kill the joker
Jim Gordon:(who only heard Batman say kill the joker) *busting in* NO! WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. Batman doesn't kill, I fired bullets at you last time to get you to stop. You did this for me Im doing this for you! Back away from the clown and-
Red Hood: ???
Batman: it's not for lack of trying
Red Hood:...
Tim (on the phone with Cass): I can be there in twenty-five minutes. I promise there's nothing that will distract me. I have to get changed, bye.
Tim ended the call and entered his apartment, focused on getting suited up when Bernard left out the bathroom in a silk robe, towel drying his hair. Tim's thinking was blocked seeing this.
Bernard (eyeing Tim with a smile): Hey, want to have sex?
Tim (closing the door quickly): I got time.
Two hours, three missed calls, and one angry text later
Cass tapped her foot, waiting impatiently for Tim to show up. He quickly raced down the street in his Robin suit. His face flushed and well aware he was late.
Cass (straight to the point): Hm, you had sex with Bernard. Next time make it quicker!
Cass walked past Tim without further elaborating. Tim moaned embarrassed as he followed her.
Another illustration for the alternative events of the second part of How to train your Dragon
Hiccup came to Viggo to ask for advice and support, because he wants to resolve the issue with Drago peacefully. Only now Viggo agrees with Stoick and is going to fly as an envoy to the Berserkers, asking for help in a future war
-If you want my approval, then no. Stoick said it right. You don't negotiate with people like Drago. There is a war coming and the leader must think about his people.... Marauder and I will fly north, I will gather my loyal people. And then I will go to our friends, I think they will not refuse to help us. Don't do anything stupid, Hiccup
Dick 9 times out of 10 failing to hide a severe injury from the rest of the batfam because without fail when he’s tired or drugged or generally not firing on all cylinders his native accent comes out as thick as the day he met Bruce.
- - -
Bruce: Dick come down for a check up I saw you take that hit for Tim.
Dick, halfway towards the cave exit and still going, in the quietest voice possible: im fine
Bruce: Say squirrel and you can leave.
Dick:
Bruce:
Jason:
Tim:
Damien:
Dick: …skweeerrehl.
Jason: Get him boys.
Robin!Dick: I truly believe water can solve all our problems.
Bruce: You think so, chum?
Dick: Mhm. Wanna lose weight? Drink water. Wanna have clear skin? Drink water. Tired of someone?
Dick pauses for dramatic effect.
Bruce, scrunching his brows in moderate confusion: How does drinking—
Dick with the most innocent smile on his face: Drown them
wayne family adventures + text posts: batkid edition
(batman edition)
tim drake 🤝 stages of decay as a bisexual crowd pleaser 🤝 bruce wayne
Damian absolutely has favorite siblings, he actually goes out of his way to rank them using a method that lets their rank change depending on several different factors.
The first time Dick saw the list he left Gotham for a week to cry because he wasn't even on it and thought Damian was somehow disowning him until Barbara dragged him back to Gotham and made them actually communicate (terrifying, I know.) (It turned out it was just as simple as Dick was that much of a dad to Damian that it genuinely didn't occur to him to lump him in with his siblings)
As of current, the list goes;
Duke
Stephanie
Cass
Jason
Tim
Jarro
The placement of Jason, Cass, Tim and Jarro changes based on what they've done for him that week, how often he's seen them, if they've upset Father or Richard, any failings vigilante-wise, and mainly the idea of 'If they saw this ranking, would I be embarrassed about it?'.
Duke and Steph are permanently in the top two spots, they spots only change depending on how much Damian has seen and talked to them that day.
Patroled with Duke but Steph took him out for milkshakes and to annoy Bruce? Number one spot goes to her.
Duke takes him out for a ride on his motorcycle during his lunch period at school? Number one spot goes to him.
It's very notable that the list dictates his behavior to his siblings. Whoever's in the top spot? He'll let them carry him as if he's a fucked up cat with barely a complaint if they want to. They earned that. Five and below? He is actively pouring sand into their beds.
Steph is vaguely aware of the list but honestly thinks she's near the bottom or something. Tim is hyper-aware of it but doesn't know what the criteria are and keeps getting really competitive trying to get into the top 2 at least once, and he keeps failing miserably.
Soundwave. Overworked. Underpaid. Underappreciated.
”Soundwave put a gag on that one” “Soundwave read that guy’s mind” “Soundwa—“ I KNOW they drive him crazy the way he’s the only competent one, wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the high guard often goes to him for most problems (esp when they’re like “I TOLD you it wasn’t tight enough” or “that just means he believes himself” y’all omg then don’t tell him to do stuff if you’re just gonna say he did it wrong 😭)
And so this is how Soundwave copes with the stress
Imagine being Alfred during Batman Begins when Bruce leaves to “find himself.” Alfred is worried, but reminds himself that all rich men do this and he’s probably just going to come back as a worldly, obnoxious vegetarian. Then Bruce shows up several years later buff as hell and it’s like no, he’s a ninja. he’s a ninja and he wants to terrorize Gotham in a bat costume.
Tim Drake probably got into fights at school, but he didn't start the fights, he'd finish them. He'd also get away scott free.
People think that they can ruin the Drake's name with their kid getting into fights and causing problems, but no. They encourage him to do these.
Janet had a firm stance in her belief to have the upper hand, so he'd never get in trouble, because she'd blackmail and/or grill into the principal so hard they had to let him go and give the other kid(s) punishment.
Jack had one solid rule, don't start a fight, finish it, and always win. He enforced it by having occasional spars with Tim whenever he could and signed Tim up for all kinds of martial arts to make sure he knew how to fight.
Janet signed him up for whatever else extracurriculars he wanted(ballet, gymnastics, theater, art, vocal coaching, instruments, figure skating, track, etc.).
So just imagine, Tim Drake, publicly known to get into and win so many fights but with no prior context is seen as a trouble maker till they see how well behaved he is. They talk badly about him though, how much of a bad kid little Tim Drake who physically looks like his father but has the face and acts exactly like Janet when he speaks and leads.
And then his parents die and he doesn't cry. They think he's an even horrible kid for not caring about his parents' death even though he's torn.
And then he becomes a Wayne and his reputation, which only Alfred and Bruce know, brings the Wayne name down.
And then he becomes CEO of Wayne Enterprises and everyone expects him to be just like Bruce. What they don't expect is Janet Drake 2.0 when it comes to getting his way and the way he acts or Jack Drake 2.0 with his outstanding leadership and ideas and proposals and what not.
When the rest of the Waynes find out about his reputation, they don't believe it till they see it for themselves.
It's probably at a gala or some sorts. A socialite is being inherently racist towards Damian and talking about how bad of a kid he is. Tim is not standing for it.
"Oh I'm sorry!" he says just a but too loudly to get the attention if everyone in the place, "Would you care to finish that vile comment about my brother? That he was a what now."
"I do, in fact. Perhaps after everyone hears this you Waynes will do better to control that little devil and his unnatural brow-"
The socialite doesn't even get to finish his sentence when Tim karate chops their neck, making them choke(literally) in their own words.
"Oh what was that? Did someone who is actively cheating on their own wife with the underage heir of another company be racist towards my underage and tri-racial brother? Sorry? Did a pedophile defiling the 15 year old daughter of the Miller's family say my 11 year old brother's skin was the sign of the devil? Hm?"
No one says a word, even as they watch Tim twist his words and spill out every secret and dirty fact about the socialite.
They don't even stop him as they watch him beat the crap out of the person with out even trying when said person tries to throw hands with Timothey Jackson Drake, publicly known for getting into fights and winning as well as being graduated from every martial arts class in Gotham ever.
Police were involved, headlines were made, the Miller heir was no longer seen in public and her younger sibling was pronounced heir, and Tim Drake, not Wayne, got off without a scratch, repercussion, or warning.
Damian has never felt an older siblings' loving protection more than he did when he saw Tim grill that socialite. He s never felt more respect for the guy before. And suddenly Dick was lower on the sibling scale.
He was lower on the sibling scale for everyone. Good by #1 sibling Dick Grayson and hello Tim Drake.
Have a problem? Someone's mean or is picking a fight? Don't worry, Tim Drake's there.
Drake is more noticeable than Wayne when it comes to Tim, and everyone finds it out the hard way.