My Sexual Awakening

"If you truly love Nature, you will find beauty everywhere.

- Van Gogh.

Pictures source: @kmriscos

Me whenever people be talking about dumb shit at work, like bitch I DON"T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE, GO AWAY, then I calm down and feel a little bad, ONLY a little though

“The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” – Janet Fitch

me in the theatre during this scene

Earth 42 Miles Morales could ruin my life, and I would thank him

Dios mio ayudame 🥵 

Growing up watching the women in my family go through this and take it out on their kids, I refuse to follow in their footsteps. Single life until I find someone worthy. No I will not "lower my standards" as they keep telling me just cause your ass settled for trash.

The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything.

The House on Mango Street was the first book that put what I wanted when I grew up into words. I hyperfixated on the shoes especially. They symbolize Esperanza's sexuality, and then her inner conflict between that sexuality and her desire for independence. I had similar struggles, particularly when I was 15. Quinces are a huge event in a Cuban girls life. Everyone in the extended family comes to ogle at the garish decorations while talking smack about the girl's dress and body in between bites of ropa vieja and croquetas. At the end, they exchange the little girl shoes she has for a high heel. Symbolizing her "ascension" into womanhood. This terrified me. I was still growing into my body. My feet still clumsy and my hands too small to hold onto to the ridiculous bouffant skirt of the dress which would inevitably lead me to trip even more in front of judging relatives. More than anything, I wasn't ready to be a woman, even symbolically. The questions of when I would get married, have children, would increase in their seriousness as they did for my first cousin. Under this pressure, she then had her baby at 17 with a man who constantly cheats on her to this day. They will tell me to go to university so I can find an educated man. Not to worry about about an education from myself. That I already study/read too much and men don't want overly smart women. This was the picture I had of "becoming a woman" since I transitioned from baby to child shoes. I told everyone the Christmas before my Quince in September that I would not be having one. The adults laughed and my cousins jeered at me at the kids table thinking I was loca and "antisocial". My mother, told me it would be my choice, but that the family would like to join me in this joyous occasion. I was shaking beneath their eyes, but again I said I did not want one. As September drew closer, the questions for when the invites were going out started to grow numerous. I again told them I would not be doing a quince. My aunt cried and called me selfish. That she never had a daughter, only sons, and she wanted to help me plan it. For the first time in my 15 years, I refused to give in. No amount of crocodile tears would get me to budge. I'm glad I did. It was the first step in MY path to becoming a woman. No high heels needed. Now, I keep my heelless "child shoes" near my bed in my own apartment where I live alone with my dog. Comfortable and free.

YOU decide what it means to be woman. Do not let anyone and their outdated traditions tell you what to do.

Postcards I accumulated traveling and studying in Europe, attached to a cork board

source @kmriscos

When I tell my white friends that pretty much every Cuban I have met finds the movie Scarface hilarious and we don't give a fuck that he's played by an Italian-American dude. In fact, the bad accent just makes it that much funnier XD I quote "say hello to my little friend" at least once a week to my dad. It's a bonding movie for us both lol

This was me when I was little. My priest grew frustrated with me when I asked if Mary truly had any choice in having Jesus. Worst of all, if I was a good girl would this happen to me? Sooo... I did everything not to be his type, following my previous priest's list of offenses women can commits. Which is somehow longer than it is for men for some reason, of course 🙄

My list of offenses

Tattoos/Piercings

Bisexual

Dark Clothes

Spoke my mind in Church

Believe in Evolution/Science

Being single

Doesn't want kids

Refuses to respect racist/stupid elders in my family, their tits/balls sagging ≠ wisdom, and cutting them out of my life after I moved out of the family home

In that same vein, calling my "sainted father" a fucking asshole for verbally abusing my mom, sister and me all our lives

and the list will continue to grow as I get older and give less of a fuck. The magic sky man, really a human man with a power kink, can get bent before they think they can control me.

reminiscing about SNW hijinks, it's amazing that in real life I am demisexual AF, but when it comes to this crew I would be a massive whore. Would literally bust ass at Starfleet Academy to get onto the Enterprise for d*ck.