When You Can’t Remember That Really Great Sentence You Wrote In Your Head Five Minutes Ago But You

Dabi: I'm going to take you out.

Hawks: Like, as in, a date, murder, or garbage?

Kuroko: why are you so large?

Atsushi: God decided to bless me with a big dick but found out a small body can't handle it so he gave me a bigger body.

KnS/GoM: . . .

I'm so mad at people who hate on Cissy because she betrayed Bella for her "useless husband and son". Like, you guys aren't looking at this deeply enough. The emotional/mental capacity of Narcissa. Heck, the entire emotional/mental capacity of the entire Black family and maybe even Lucius. You guys aren't looking into the emotional turmoil Cissy must have been in because she had to choose between family. The angst potential of the entire family of Black and Malfoy is tremendous. The whys and the hows.

Poets and writers, answer me this: how would you know you have loved?

I've no idea where this is going

One of the first comments I've ever received on my work was that I should use 3rd POV because people usually don't read 1st POV fanfictions. Which, I agree. As a reader—especially of fanfictions—I didn't like reading from a 1st POV. For some reason, I wanted to keep that distinction between me and the character. I wanted to be separate. I want to exist only as an observer, not as a character in the story. At the time, when I was writing it, I did think I should probably go 3rd POV, and I did write some chapters in that POV, it was a POV changing fanfic. I read that comment and edited my fanfic as a whole to be strictly 3rd POV. And, I still write BL fanfics today. The thing is, to keep a distinction between the two characters, I would write the other as "them/their/they". But the problem arises that it's confusing if the "they/them/their" doesn't refer to the single character but to two or more characters. But I also do not want to write them both as "he/him" because then, that's even more confusing. Now, I'm writing something. And I honestly just said "eff it", I'm writing in 1st POV. I have been meaning to write in 1st POV for a long time now, too, sooo, that's good. I'm still thankful to that person for writing that comment, it was constructive criticism and as a writer who does want people to read, it was a good suggestion. But, where I am now, I'm trying to care less about it. That fanfic that I was talking about, the one they commented on, the first part of it has been in writing since 2020. THE FIRST PART, BRO TT

What if: Ronmione break up songfic snd the song is "Better for You" by siopaolo

I think "The Console" episode from The Amazing World of Gumball is my favourite solely because of how cool it is. And the boss' design is fabulous

No thoughts, just Death Eater Draco. 🫠

Rewatched Saltburn and I'm obsessed with Farleigh and Oliver's tutoring scene. The essay specifically. For those who don't remember: Oliver did his homework and all his assignments and genuinely gave a well thought out essay for their summer assignments. Farleigh shows up hungover and late and didn't even read the books. But the teacher immediately loves Farleigh and is chatting him up with an interest he barely tried to show Oliver. Even after Oliver gives his presentation and shows that he's clearly a much better student than Farleigh. Obviously this is the real start of their rivalry. But it's also such a beautiful look into their characters and how they mirror eachother. Farleigh understands Oliver's essay, I believe. But like the teacher he's bored by it. The knowledge and work is there, but the presentation of it is boring and strange. Academic and correct, but lacking the appeal to the audience. (Which, can we talk about the fact Farleigh was genuinely listening at all? The teacher zoned out and switched channels, but Farleigh was interested and paying enough attention to know the exact number of times Oliver used the word "thus" in his essay. They respect each other truly even if they despise eachother at this point, and refuse to acknowledge the grudging respect.) So Farleigh does what he does best, he gloats over Oliver. He picks apart the style of the essay and it's presentation rather than addressing the central argument or topic. This delights the teacher and frustrates Oliver who is like, "so you're going to critique the style of my essay rather than it's substance? Seems a bit lazy" and that's the core component of these two characters.

Farleigh is ALL about presentation. He knows how fragile his pedistal is placed up and in view for everyone to see. He's a charity project, just like every other rando of the month. Sure he has some familiar connection, and that's given him a leg up in this world. But it's still shakey at best. He always has to give the correct performance, say the right words, keep his audience on HIS side. Unless he wants to get knocked down with the rest of the common rabal that he knows he's belongs with, but can't stand the idea of. So yes, of course he picks apart the one thing he knows Oliver is failing at. He takes his one advantage over Oliver and uses it mercilessly to both entertain and secure his audience on his side. (I wonder if the positions had been different some how, if Farleigh would have had anything to say about the substance of the essay itself. He was paying attention to it, did he want to have a real academic conversation? Did he possibly want to try and connect to Oliver in that way? A real and non performative way with someone who's so similar to him?)

As for Oliver, obviously his character is intelligent. He does the readings. He does the research. He puts the time and effort in to *learn* in the way Farleigh never does. And it must infuriate him that his essay is so easily pushed to the side for a cheep critique that doesn't even address the central argument of his essay. Of course he would hate Farleigh from the start for that. It's such a quick negation of all that Oliver has to offer and give just because it's not wrapped up in a pretty bow. And that's just his character. The substance is there, the intelligence is there. But it's not enough. It will never be enough. Because Oliver doesn't know how to translate it to his audience in a way they'll care about. He learns and tries to mimic, but it always falls short because he just can't seem to figure out the way to blend in and present himself so seamlessly as Farleigh.

And that's why they're such perfect mirrors of each other. They're both intelligent and clever. But they've found different ways of getting what they want and proving themselves. Farleigh is the face and the presentation, Oliver is the substance and body. In another world imagine what these two could have done and been if they hadn't been pitted against each other for the same prize. And the fact Oliver definitely deliberately shoved Farleigh out at the perfect time so he wouldn't get hurt and killed? Oliver and Farleigh respect and admire the other. But their tragedy is they can never be on the same page or team because the world they're in says there is only room for one. And they'd both do anything to get that title.

under the cut are a list of websites and articles i like, that perhaps may come in useful for writing reference. a lot of the sites linked are NSFW, so please be careful when you click! they’re separated into 5 sections (sex, drugs, death, technology, and culture) and a lot are archived links. happy browsing!

sex

boogie sites | article from 1998 detailing the rise of online porn

‘the fuck brief’ | a lawsuit regarding fuckingmachines.com, their use of the word ‘fuck’, and how it relates to the first amendment

the teenager and the porn star | longform article from 2006 (with a postscript) about then-18 year old pornstar sasha grey. features lots of in-depth info about the porn industry and the sets.

rubbed the wrong way: sasha grey’s porn set pet peeves | interview with sasha grey (then 22) focusing on her porn set dislikes

photos and stories from the secret world of strip clubs | anecdotes from strippers, taken from the book ‘wanting you to want me’ by bronwen parker-rhodes and emily dinsdale

peer inside japan’s secretive love hotels | photos of love hotels in japan, ranging from simple to extravagant

the vice guide to becoming a whore in 2004 | a-z by an anonymous sex worker detailing her lifestyle in the sex industry

a lap dancer answers 17 prying questions about working in a strip club | q&a with a lap dancer about her work

romance @ homedespot | offshoot of tokyo damage report, linking to the page about romance, love, and sex. there’s other links on the page to different sections.

bdsm ettiequte @ evilmonk dot org | simple website with a wealth of information on bdsm history, manners, and other readings.

drugs

candyland: the secret life of a tokyo coke baron | long read on the rise of foreign criminal activity in the japanese drug industry

death

the splat calculator | input some data and see how fast you’ll fall, as well as your impact velocity

tailstrike database | a database of ‘black box’ recordings/transcripts from plane crashes

9/11 thread on fark.com | one of the few livethreads on the internet providing live updates from 11/09/01; it stretches on for nine pages

i am pen pals with deathrow inmate richard ramirez aka the night stalker. ama. | reddit ask-me-anything thread with a person who is penpals with noted serial killer richard ramirez. features images of letters, drawings, and other paraphernalia the user was sent, as well as some talk about the man himself.

nukemap | drag the pointer to anywhere in the world, enter some data, and see what effect a nuclear bomb would have

inside stalin’s ‘cannibal island’ | in the 1930s, joseph stalin deported thousands of opponents and prisoners to a barren, isolated location that would become known as ‘cannibal island’

somethingawful 9/11 thread | often-referenced livethread from 9/11/01 on the website somethingawful dot com. has pictures, emojis, and other turn-of-the-century forum goodness. stretches for 18 pages (you need to click from the truegamer links to view) and has a retrospective thread from march 2002.

technology

fuck you and die: an oral history of something awful | touches on turn-of-the-century internet/messageboard culture

how shock sites shaped the internet | from shock horror movies to rotten dot com - how disgust evolved for the internet age

unscathed corpse | blogspot site gathering various other ‘curious, weird, sexiest, funny, crazy and interesting’ websites

this is what campaign websites looked like in 1996 | screenshots of political websites from the 1996 election

urban desires | online zine from 1995 focusing on various interesting topics (music, sex, food, fashion etc)

the curious history of the y2k cyberbabes | details the early 00s obsession with 3d women

next year’s models | featured in the above article, this specifically focuses on webby tookay, a virtual 3d model

disinformation dot com | defunct website from 1996 that stretches into the 00s, focusing on news that isn’t reported by the mainstream media

rotten library | ‘an unforgettable collection of all that mankind swore to forget’ - rotten dot com’s library, with various information on everything from the occult to languages to art to hoaxes

textfiles dot com | archive of ascii texts on various topics

cyborg foundation | website created in 2010 to ‘help humans become cyborgs, defend the rights of cyborgs, and promote cyborg art’

404pagefound | active vintage websites, old webpages, and web 1.0

tokyo damage report | autobiographical website from an american man living in tokyo. the css seems to have failed, so it’s rather unreadable, but you might be able to find some material if you click on the many, many links.

culture

lolita history | gallery of j-fashion magazine scans

what indie sleaze was really like at the time | article on the ‘indie sleaze’ movement and subculture of the mid-00s

answer me! | magazine from 1991-94 featuring social pathologies and various topics

aids in the heartland | series of articles from the late 80s providing an on-site look at the aids crisis in rural america

how to be amuro! | fansite for japanese singer namie amuro; this section focuses on how to look and dress like the singer, providing a useful insight into the budding gyaru style of japan

hubris | an online journal that the user has been keeping since 1998

a look inside british invasion obsessed teen magazines (1965-1966) | photos of articles and comics from 16 magazine during the height of the british invasion

hippies from a to z | everything you ever wanted to know about hippies, by a hippy

s&m: brutally good indie | text-only playlist from a college radio station that ran from september 2000 to december 2001

mixing for the 80s | interesting article from 2009 on how 80s songs were mixed

video vixens tell all about the ‘wild west’ mtv days of the 80s and 90s | various models from videos for artists such as zz top, jay-z, and billy idol detail what working as a ‘video vixen’ was like

britney spears and the myth of the ‘get ready with me’ video | thinkpiece on the culture of GRWMs and how they have affected personal appearance

and you thought you were obsessed with buffy the vampire slayer…: makeup counter | fansite page detailing the cosmetic makeup used on the set of buffy the vampire slayer, as well as makeup worn by main actress sarah michelle gellar in her spare time

tooth and nails | 1997 article on the rise of urban decay, which at the time was a fledgling makeup brand making major waves in the industry

urban decay shrine | neocities website featuring various products, adverts, and other outside links relating to the ‘glory days’ of urban decay

yolk magazine, 1994-2003 | blogspot article about yolk magazine, a magazine targeted at the asian-american demographic. the blog as a whole also focuses on chinese-american visual artists and culture, and stretches back to 1861!

star1973 dot com | star was a short-lived controversial teen magazine from 1973 that circulated around la’s teenage groupie scene and glam rock.

capitol hill staffers explain dc’s complex dress codes | the world of political fashion is probably more complicated than you could have imagined