My Hands Got Soaked In Blood From Punching My Legs So Hard It Re-opened My Self Harm From A Couple Of

I don’t feel as hurt as I would’ve back then. I’m still just upset thinking about you too hard though. I hate this shit so much. I just want you to hurt. I dont Even Need you to miss me, I just want you to hurt and realize what you did was wrong. I can’t even understand how you couldn’t see what you did to me was wrong

Everyone is watching and reading but not helping I could set myself in fire and people would love it I just want to fucking did I CANT fucking do this I repent I fucking repent I repent I don’t know what to do I’m scared just can’t take this shit anymore I just need to get the fuck out of here please help somebody help please just can’t somebody help me please I can’t I’m sorry I am sorry

Tomorrow would’ve marked our 9 month anniversary, and two months since we have been separated from each other.

I cant lie when I say I miss you. I long for you sometimes. I wish that I could relive every single moment we spent with each other so I didn’t take it for granted. You felt like you were my person. I cant say that I’m not absolutely crushed that you aren’t here anymore.

I continuously think that I’m getting better, but I just remember how much I enjoyed our time together and get wrecked again. I dont Even know if you miss me, and I don’t think it matters. I just fucking miss you. I miss that i was able to call you mine. Now I call you an abuser because that is what you are.

I am in a much better place with much better people. Yet I still feel so alone without you sometimes. I wish I could see your face again. I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish we could laugh on call for hours again. I just want it all Back. I miss you so fucking much. I really do.

It just hurts, and I think it hurts more that you don’t really miss me—assuming, at least. I know you, I really do. I know you’d never post how you felt, and how you’d always just dump it onto me because I was always there for you. I know that you miss me, or maybe it’s just my delusion telling me so. I dont know what I want, or who I want, or what I want to do. I dont know anything and just feel lost.

I miss you so much. Theres still a Little Bit of Love for you In my heart. I try everyday to resist looking at your account, texting you and begging you back, etc. I just miss you so fucking much. I do. I cant lie and say I don’t. I don’t miss you ALL the time like I used to. But I am still hurting. The wound is still fresh I suppose, but it doesn’t even feel like two months.

I just wish I could wake up and it was a dream. I wish I could wake up and do things right. I wish that you were right in the head. I wish you weren’t the way you are because then maybe things would’ve worked out. I miss you so fucking much. I really do.

I can’t be too involved in the past, or I’ll miss everything going on around me in the present. But I just miss you. I wish you were in my present. I love you.

Fucking pieces of shit don’t know Jack shit about what the fuck I’ve been through YOURE all insufferable I don’t know why all my fucking friends are so mean to me it’s stupid ass jokes and not fucking funny

I am legitimately thinking about going on Tiktok or any social and encouraging them to genuinely be mean I will give them fuel I will tell them I’m autistic and transgender and was raped as a kid and sexually assaulted throughout my life and that I have no friends or ambitions and that I have family issues and then will encourage them to bully me into suicide and ill get more mean comments than nice ones because I’ll be seen as corny and attention seeking so no matter what I’m getting hate that will ruin my mental and finally drag me to do it

I want to talk about how bad I’m struggling. I want help. I want to vent to my friends. I want to vent to people closest to me. But I am so scared and I am so guilty and ashamed. I can’t wait to blow my fucking head off

Why can’t you just fucking suffer for once in your stupid fucking life why do I have to suffer what you’ve done to me why can’t you understand how fucked up you are

I am so unimportant and it hurts. My life is nothing but a sick joke. I’m stuck inside of purgatory. Surely hell can’t be worse than this. I don’t think it can get worse than this. I can’t take it. I have to die. I can’t keep living like this anymore

You will never fucking understand what I go through in this specific situation you don’t know and you trying to help me only makes me mad and upset you just don’t fuckjng get it you never will

I’m going to relapse and mutilate myself unrecognizable