Please God Help Me. Please Just Let Me Fucking Die. I Pray For My Death Every Single Night And Nobody

J don’t even like dressing up anymore

I still love you so much I’m sorry please come back I’m about to snap and beg you to come back I love you so much I’m sorry please forgive me I’m so sorry I miss you so fucking much I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

I am going to kill myself

I’ll always be imperfect even to the ones I love

I’ll never be a man to anyone. I’ll never be beautiful to anyone. I’ll never be satisfying enough for anyone. There is always just something wrong with me and I don’t know what that is. I will always be imperfect to everyone. There will always be something awful about me that makes people like me a little less.

All I want is to be liked. All I want is to be loved. All I want is to not be imperfect to someone. I want someone to respect who I am and not prefer things over me. I fucking hate myself man. I hate everyone that I know and love and want them out of my life. I hate everything. I just wish I could rot away forever and fucking die.

Nobody will ever truly love me. And I get proved right every fucking time.

I’m just a mistake

If you aren’t mad at me then why the fuck are you ignoring me you dumb piece of shit I fucking hate you I fucking hate you so much if you aren’t mad and worried why aren’t you taking me seriously why the fuck won’t you just speak up like a real fucking man instead of being a fucking pussy you fucking idiot

I am giving this behavioral hospital a try and if it doesn’t work that will be the confirmation

I am legitimately thinking about going on Tiktok or any social and encouraging them to genuinely be mean I will give them fuel I will tell them I’m autistic and transgender and was raped as a kid and sexually assaulted throughout my life and that I have no friends or ambitions and that I have family issues and then will encourage them to bully me into suicide and ill get more mean comments than nice ones because I’ll be seen as corny and attention seeking so no matter what I’m getting hate that will ruin my mental and finally drag me to do it

It hurts less more and more everyday but I am still sad over you kinda. I miss you. Sometimes I want to unblock and go back to you but I know that wouldn’t ever happen and that’s okay.

I need to fucking kill myself

THATMOMENT WHEN YOU ARE THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR BEST FRIEND IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND ANTMORE AND YOU FINALLY REALIZE YOU REALLY HAVE FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE BEUOND REPAIR AND YOU WILL ACTUALLY DIE ALONE THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU WILL NEVER BE RELATED IR LOVED EVER AGAIN OH MY GOD IM GOING TO BLEED OUT I HOPE MY BOYFRIEND CATCHES ME