I Genuinely Have Never Hated Myself More Than I Do Now Nothing Makes Me Feel Better Anymore I Am Just

I love you so much mom and im Sorry I can’t look at you the same anymore. I just want my mom. I just want a normal mom. I just want a normal family.

Getting beat and kicked down until I’m close to an unrecognizable mess and then you kiss me disgustingly on my blood filled mouth. I give you my full consent to beat the shit out of me and leave me clinging onto consciousness then admiring what damage you have done to me. I love being abused what can I say. It turns me on

Everything hurts it was like I was talking to her again I’m hideous and I never want to look at myself again I just feel so ugly and terrible and so unworthy I wish that a specific genital was preferred over my whole entire fucking being I hate myself you Make me hate myself I’m so hideous and ugly and I never want to be seen by anyone ever again

It feels like I’m just back at square one again

I’m so fucking sad man why do I have to be like this I can’t take it

Everyone I love and have broken up with or left are all the fucking same they always will be they will always think I’m gross or repulsive or ugly or just fucking wish that I had a fucking dick they will always cross my boundaries and prefer looking at other things besides me And think I’m fucking ugly I keep getting betrayed over and over and over and over I will never ever truly be loved for who I am I fucking hate everyone

It genuinely hurts to live

Everyone is watching and reading but not helping I could set myself in fire and people would love it I just want to fucking did I CANT fucking do this I repent I fucking repent I repent I don’t know what to do I’m scared just can’t take this shit anymore I just need to get the fuck out of here please help somebody help please just can’t somebody help me please I can’t I’m sorry I am sorry

I’m fucking retarded and depending on anonymous tumblr anons to reassure me not to blow my fucking head off lol I am so pathetic I actually need to overdose so fucking bad when I get medicated bupropion I’m giving myself brain damage and serotonin Syndrom and seizing out in public while I get recorded and published on a stupid gore website with the title saying “WORTHLESS RETARD TRANNY OVERDOSES BECAUSE OF COURSE IT NEEDS MEDS!!!!” Oh my fucking Godlol I’m nothing I deserve to be fucking killed and splat on the pavement im so sick of this shit I literally think I cannot be more pathetic than I already am Then I pull some of the lowest shit ever and it’s like Jesus fucking Christ. Even all the notably bad people can’t compare to how fucking filthy and rotten and disgusting I am I need to slit my wrists and bleed out in a field in the middle of Nowhere lol I want to give people my location so they can take me the fuck Out if any of you legitimately want to hire a hit man to take me out I will give you money and my address and fucking everuthing just kill me holy shit just fucking kill me

Please come back to me. Please.