Book Quotes That I Will Never Recover From

A man and a woman share romantic themed scenes and other wholesome moments.

Everyone: Omg they're an awesome couple! They belong together! They're beautiful and perfect! They're my OTP 😆😆❤️❤️

Two men/two women sharing literally the same scenes or even more emotional/romantic themed scenes than the main canon straight couple has.

Everyone: They're just friends/rivals. They have a platonic relationship. Why do you ship them? Why can't two men/two women be just friends???? Why they have to be boyfriends/girlfriends????? 😭😭😭

Don't make excuses. Just say you're homophobic. And if you really aren't homophobic, if you don't like the ship for other reasons, not because they are two men/two women, just directly say "I don't like them because X" but don't use those arguments because if you do I'm just gonna assume you're queerphobic. I don't know, use the "I don't like the trope of their relaitonship" "I prefer another couple". But don't use the "they're just friends" because that argument is so overused.

Wally, walking into the kitchen: is something burning?

Dick, leaning seductively against the counter: just my desire for you

Wally: the toaster is on fire.

OUCH

Wally’s Bird 3

Dick: *throws himself onto Wally’s chest, face first* What is this? I’ can’t understand anything!! *waves a paper in his face*

Wally: *pushes it away* You can’t read it because whoever wrote it was Russian.

Dick: I don’t care how fast they were typing! This makes no sense!!! *whines and shakes the paper harder*

bro they Suck at the secret relationship thing

Thing Humans Have Definitely Said to Aliens:

"Crewmate John, by the Old Ones I cannot convince my hatchling to consume his vegetables."

"Push the fork towards their mouth and tell them it's an airplane."

"What the f-"

"Tell them. It's an airplane."

He slipped instead of slide lol

BSD Headcanon

Atsushi will always call Chuuya by his full name the moment his eyes catches sight of him. It stated when they first met in the elevator to see The Boy And His Dog. Since then, no matter where they are or what is going on, Atsushi will always say the other’s full name. He will literally stop in the street or flat out ignore the person he’s having a conversation with just to call out to Chuuya. Over time Chuuya had developed a six sense for it, much to the amusement and annoyance to once Dazai Osamu. (Annoyance due to when Atsushi stops talking to him in mid-sentence and amusement in seeing Chuuya’s full body twitch)

Chuuya: *full body twitch as he’s minding his own business as he walks down the street with a co-worker*

Random Mafia Member: Nakahara-sama?

Chuuya: *closes his eyes and waits for it*

Atsushi: *four feet away on the other side of the street* Chuuya Nakahara?

Chuuya: *pivots and charges towards the other* Stop full naming be goddamnit!

Atsushi: *shrieks and sprints away*

Dazai: *stands there with a frozen smile before zooming after them* Leave my cat alone! Damnit Chibi!

Mafia Member: *is confusion*

Wan!Chuuatsu is so wild and valid like… a man who has gravity manipulation ability is just so distracted by Atsushi he'd rather show off like this

than carefully maneuver them out of the elevator situation

Bruce trying to shove talk his in law

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Wally: *zooms away*

———————

Bruce: *long spiel*

Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.

Roy: *takes out one earbud*

Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?

Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*

———————

Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.

Bruce: Sure.

Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?

Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.

———————

Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.

Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*

Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*

Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*

———————

Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*

Bruce: It's too early for this.

Steph: It's three PM.

———————

Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—

Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.

Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*

———————

Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.

Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?

Bruce: ...You may proceed.

———————

Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.

Bruce: Did you say playDATE?

———————

Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.

Selina: Is this really necessary?

Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!

Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.

———————

Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.