I Never Knew How Much I Needed This Until Today

I never knew how much I needed this until today

Every time I look back through ACOTAR and the actions Feyre chose I can’t help but think this isn’t her. While this can all be placed on SJM and her horrible writing choices for the plot, book 1 Feyre has changed into the being she hated the first time we met her.

And my favorite theory will continue to be that Feyre is not in control of herself mentally. It’s all Rhysand. That bargain made under the mountain in book one was the beginning of the end for Feyre. And it was a trap that Tamlin and Lucien saw for what it was. But it was too late to save her.

I’d even go so far as to say that Feyre was Tamlin’s mate and that her death and the deal she made with Rhysand altered it so that the universe would believe it was Rhysand who was her mate.

Everything else was just sprinkled in at the right moments and the right times for Rhysand to play the ‘savior’ and pick up the pieces. And when his little puppet pretended that she was being controlled the entire time he genuinely thought she was broken from his spell for that brief moment.

So every little action, degrading outfit, and near death experiences were all a sick and twisted form of revenge against Tamlin. Possibly because they were exes, or for the crimes their fathers committed against each other and the unfortunate demise of Rhysand’s mother and sister.

And the real Feyre is trapped in a prison inside her mind. Watching as everyone and everything is stolen from her. And replaced with people who refuse to disobey their ‘precious high lord.’ A man so wrapped up in his own ego that he doesn’t even bother with 2/3 of his court.

More Posts from Ejkreader and Others

1 week ago

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

1 month ago

I'm choosing seat six- I'm sorry, I get to sit next to a dog AND Eris? Like, we all know who'd be the better conversation partner, but having Eris to look at is a nice added bonus ;) Additionally, with Elain and Nesta behind me to listen to (I'm absolutely certain Elain is an honorary member of the "reads smutty books" club with Nesta, Gwyn, Elain and Eris) and the unnamed Vanserra bro in front to... I actually don't know about him, I'd probably just keep on hitting his chair with my feet until he told me all Eris' secrets. Sounds like a fun flight! 💅💖✨️

ACOTAR Airplane Seat Game Round 1 of 4

How to play: all you need to do is tell us where you'd sit on the flight by voting in the poll below. Bonus points if you tell us why in comments/reblogs/tags.

And...don't worry these get progressively worse 😈🔥

ACOTAR Airplane Seat Game Round 1 Of 4

Tags
4 weeks ago
@elainweekofficial | Day 05: Family And Friends

@elainweekofficial | Day 05: Family and Friends

For this day I've commissioned an art of a cute moment between Feyre, Nesta, Elain and baby Nyx. Thank you so much @_inkye for delivering once again another amazing piece of artwork!

Art by: @_inkye

Commissioned by: @melphss

Characters belongs to: Sarah J. Maas


Tags
3 weeks ago

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

Summary - Having two mates was never easy, especially when you all had different homes.

Warnings - Readers boyfriends definitely are not boyfriends, references to smut, swearing, drinking

A/N - you all thought I wouldn't try to get my poop in a group for my beloved @polysjmweek? Wrong. I had drafts. I'm forcing myself to post them. @acourtofladydeath, forgive my lateness. And my dropping of many things late. Closed Vs are something we had talked a lot about, and I wanted to make sure to feature one this year! A closed v is a challenging dynamic that requires 3 very secure people, and it felt so right to start my late posting with this. 

This fic was written for day 1 - who's court is it anyways?

✨️Poly Week 2025 Masterlist *link coming soon

✨️Master Masterlist✨️

New Beginnings

“Mother, save me,” you murmured as Azriel and Eris started arguing again. Life would have been easier if Azriel and Eris were also mates, but the Cauldron decided this was much more entertaining. You sighed and got between them. They’d been arguing for several hours about which court you three would be settling into as a permanent home. Eris wanted to stay in Autumn, and rightfully so, with his chances of being High Lord so high. Azriel believed the Night Court was the best option and that he owed Rhysand his life, possibly even his first born with how loyal he was.

Your home had been immediately denied. “Why would we move to the coldest place in Prythian,” Eris had asked. Azriel immediately had agreed, stating his wings would freeze in the bitter winds of the Winter Court. 

“Rhysand needs me,” Azriel growled at Eris. “My court needs me!”

“So does mine,” Eris shot back. “I will be High Lord some day, and I have to be in Autumn to heal Autumn!” 

You sighed softly, hands on two strong chests as they glared. “Does anyone care what I think?” Both males seemed to relax at the sound of your voice. “Because I think this is ridiculous, and maybe we all aren’t actually ready to move into one home.” The silence that met that statement was deafening. You had spent the last 7 years having to bounce between Autumn and Night. a  week with Ers. A week with Azriel. A week at home, the Mountain House, a quiet comfort. Dating two males, being mated to two males, especially two males who were not interested in each other, was not for the faint of heart. You took a deep breath, eyes closing as you did. “I think we have a great thing,” you continued. “Our relationship and the dynamic we have is special to me, but I worry it isn’t special to you two. I worry that us moving in together will not be with you not-” You paused. “With you two.. Unable to cooperate and get along.”

Eris and Azriel looked at you, eyes so different. Eris was inquisitive, Azriel was stunned. You had never shown any signs of thinking there were issues within the relationship the 3 of you shared, at least, not issues you had acknowledged to them. You were such a relaxed fae and would go where the wind took you. Eris sat down, knowing this was a serious conversation time, not a fun one. He pointed to the chair across from the couch he was on, his rings sparkling on his long finger as you moved and sat. Azriel sat by Eris, leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees. “How long have you felt this way,” Eris was fighting to keep his voice soft. “And why are the two of us just finding out?”

Azriel then added, “And how can we fix it?”

They had similarities, and this process was one of them. They allowed the comfortable silence to fall over the room as you thought and then took a deep breath. “I think I first started feeling this way at our first Starfall all together. I felt pulled and like spending too much time with Azriel disrespected you,” you said to Eris. “But too much time with Eris, and I was hurting you,” you directed at Azriel. “I felt.. Spread so thin.”

Eris nodded in clear thought. He was thinking over everything you had told them first before nodding, wanting you to continue. “I have tried to bring it up to both of you one on one since us in one place rarely happens, but my time with Azriel is spent-”

“Do not finish that sentence,” the Illyrian blushed.

“And my time with Eris is spent acting like the perfect future Lady of Autumn,” you smiled and held in a laugh to Azriel’s sudden shyness.

Eris chuckled, a laugh deep and full like his whiskey, “A shame, really. Sounds like your time with Azriel is much more productive than your time with me. Does she curl her -"

Azriel blushed harder, the faint pinkish-red hiding under his tan skin. “Shut up, Eris. She still has to tell us how to fix it.” They both turned back to you, “Keep talking, salvation.”

It was your turn to blush, the precious nickname Azriel had given you always enough to make your heart flutter and the bond grow warm. “I just would like you two to be friends. For you two to learn to be civil enough that we could spend time as the three of us. I don’t need you two to ever want to have sex, but knowing I could leave you two alone for 2 or 3 hours to head to market without one of you being dead when I came back would be nice.” Both males nodded. 

Another deep breath relaxed the feeling of your heart beating in your chest.  The two of them were studying each other. “It starts with addressing the elephant in the room, Eris,” You said as gently as you could. 

He leaned forward more, taking a moment to center, and he began. He told Azriel everything about his relationship with Mor, the illyrian nodding as Eris explained his choices to Azriel and explained everything he had done was to protect Mor, you, and himself. Azriel then had to explain himself as well, admitting the Night Court had a plan for killing Eris as soon as Morrigan said yes, but they had told Morrigan it would not happen now that Azriel was tied to Eris in a roundabout way. It was several hours of your mates talking, voices low and unhurried. They’d never gotten along this well and for this long. 

The conversation switched at some point, the males going from discussing their issues to the things you had known for a while they shared in common. Dancing being the biggest one. From there it became showing their dagger collection. Discussions on the hounds. Hunting. You.

Beautiful, brilliant you. 

You were the first to retire for the evening, standing in the hall between the guest room and Eris’s. Whenever the 3 of you were together, you had to make a choice on who you slept with each night, bouncing between beds sometimes like it should have been a profession. Soft hands led you by your hips, pushing you into Eris’s room. The warm scent of baked apple and fire was like a pull, drawing you in more and more. Your own hands found the ones holding you, scarred flesh, greeting them. “I think his bed is large enough for all three of us,” a voice like deep night whispered to you. “Think we can make that work? We know how happy it would make you, and it is time for us to try.” If Eris had a scent that pulled like a magnet, Azriel’s was the lock shutting you in. The two mixed, that chilled air and cedar in weaving into fire, felt like the safest combination you had ever wrapped yourself into. 

“I think we’d all fit,” the softness of your voice had him smiling.

“Then lay down. We’ll come in once we finish our drinks.”

And that night, the three of you tucked into one bed together. It felt like something new was beginning. A new chapter. One you had been hoping to welcome for far too long now.

New Beginnings

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f


Tags
1 week ago
“I Was Now High Lord And Could Do What I Wanted With Trespassers Threatening The Peace Of My Lands.

“I was now High Lord and could do what I wanted with trespassers threatening the peace of my lands. I claimed Lucien as my own—named him emissary, since he’d already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people, while I… can find it difficult. He’s been here ever since.” - ACOTAR, Chapter 18

Tamlin rescuing Lucien from his brothers. I thought about drawing this scene ever since I read it and wanting to make a gift for @yaralulu, who loves angsty stuff as much as I do, I finally took the time for it!


Tags
2 weeks ago

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

3 weeks ago
Here We Are, Y'all. This Is The First Gif I Have Made In 10 Years! Wow, It Feels Good To Flex That Muscle

Here we are, y'all. This is the first gif I have made in 10 years! Wow, it feels good to flex that muscle after a loooong rest. Maybe it's a bit choppy, but eh it's fine with me as long as I get to watch my meow meow Thanatos tonguing his Zagreus, heh


Tags
1 month ago

everything about shin soukoku makes me sick

atsushi seeing akutagawa in a position so deeply relatable to him and seeing that glimmer of humanity behind the exterior of a fighter and actively sacrificing himself for that small hope. he who constantly believes in akutagawa's humanity despite the world that burns around them, he who gives him the chance while taking away his own-

atsushi seeing dazai through akutagawa's lens for the first time and the knowledge that akutagawa does not merely choose to be like this but that it's the only option ever left for it is so ... (sounds of crying)

their similar situations giving them an understanding such as that, in typical circumstances, only they could have for themselves, by witnessing akutagawa's past for himself

how does it feel to know someone like you do yourself? how does it feel to watch that suffering, understand it, see through it and yet still have hope for more? what kind of faith does it take to not only see that hope but throw yourself in the jaws of death for it?

nothing about them is casual and i love it but they have ripped my heart from its chest and im gonna cry need them to be alright and happy and together in a better timeline where everything is alright so bad im crying

Everything About Shin Soukoku Makes Me Sick
Everything About Shin Soukoku Makes Me Sick

Tags
2 weeks ago

Lucien really asked her if he got her a moon on a string, would she give him a kiss, and she didn’t jump his bones. Insane. Absolutely bonkers.


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • littlemisssatanist
    littlemisssatanist liked this · 1 week ago
  • queenoftomatoes
    queenoftomatoes liked this · 1 week ago
  • smallraccoon13
    smallraccoon13 liked this · 1 week ago
  • a-little-disguised
    a-little-disguised reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • a-little-disguised
    a-little-disguised liked this · 1 week ago
  • lipshut
    lipshut liked this · 1 week ago
  • bonjour-itsame
    bonjour-itsame liked this · 1 week ago
  • lilylovesliterature
    lilylovesliterature reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • lilylovesliterature
    lilylovesliterature liked this · 1 week ago
  • booksnwriting
    booksnwriting reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • booksnwriting
    booksnwriting liked this · 1 week ago
  • titaniaqueenoffairie
    titaniaqueenoffairie liked this · 1 week ago
  • vermilionskiinmorning
    vermilionskiinmorning reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • vermilionskiinmorning
    vermilionskiinmorning liked this · 1 week ago
  • thestarlightexpress
    thestarlightexpress liked this · 1 week ago
  • ejkreader
    ejkreader reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • ejkreader
    ejkreader liked this · 1 week ago
  • wrongleverkronk
    wrongleverkronk liked this · 1 week ago
  • nocasdatsgay
    nocasdatsgay reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • nocasdatsgay
    nocasdatsgay reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • nocasdatsgay
    nocasdatsgay liked this · 1 week ago
  • marionpal
    marionpal liked this · 1 week ago
  • margaret3012
    margaret3012 liked this · 1 week ago
  • chainedseraphim
    chainedseraphim liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • poltergeisbookworm
    poltergeisbookworm liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • golden-shani
    golden-shani liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • lolingbird
    lolingbird liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • dallaser74
    dallaser74 liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • av1390
    av1390 liked this · 1 month ago
  • impossibelle
    impossibelle reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • sapphoofsapphicisland
    sapphoofsapphicisland liked this · 1 month ago
  • starscreambbymama
    starscreambbymama liked this · 1 month ago
  • fireborne6
    fireborne6 reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • fireborne6
    fireborne6 liked this · 1 month ago
  • sabbathine
    sabbathine liked this · 1 month ago
  • talia-scar123
    talia-scar123 liked this · 1 month ago
  • spitefuloatmeal
    spitefuloatmeal liked this · 1 month ago
  • 13makes1team
    13makes1team liked this · 1 month ago
  • what-about-elvenis
    what-about-elvenis liked this · 1 month ago
  • roxan1930
    roxan1930 reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • phoenixqueen07
    phoenixqueen07 liked this · 1 month ago
  • roxan1930
    roxan1930 reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • roxan1930
    roxan1930 liked this · 1 month ago
  • idealai
    idealai reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • idealai
    idealai liked this · 1 month ago
  • maytray2267894
    maytray2267894 liked this · 1 month ago
  • phonenumber01
    phonenumber01 liked this · 1 month ago
  • thefatesofspring
    thefatesofspring reblogged this · 1 month ago
ejkreader - Call me Lizzie
Call me Lizzie

I want to finish writing and drawing the unfinished work, but the voices THE VOICES

165 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags