Confession Time Is That This Was Me. I Can't Read

Heebies your jeebies

(- original anon)

Ermh, watch your manners, original anon!

We do not use such blasphemous language in this household!

The human sacrifice is so you will survive exam season of course

Double it and give it to the next person

Oy oy.... How goes it? Surviving?

Dearest anon, I have a singular week before I move to the Philippines and embrace communism with open arms. Things are getting certainly interesting!

(Really though I am very excited if that was not clear already.)

So true!

Say it with me "I am valid"

Tumblr asks are so incredible what does this even mean

Is this because it is pride month or.

https://giphy.com/gifs/THDBkIhJ42uqjXxXAs

Can't attach gifs in anon asks. Have a bee.

Anon, I fear that my mobile is not suitable to access such a link right now, but fear not!

I shall access such presented bee upon my laptop as soon as I am able!

Hello, everybody. Thanks for coming. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And I'd like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you're about to see it actually happened. Just take it from me. But there's more to this story than what's on the page, so please pay attention while I set the stage. We open in Thneedville, a city they say that was plastic and fake, and they liked it that way! A town without nature, not one living tree. So, what happened to them? Cue the music! Let's see. Buzz. Buzz. In Thneedville, it's a brand new dawn With brand new cars and houses and lawns Here in Got-all-that-we-need-ville In Thneedville, we manufacture our trees Each one is made in factories And uses 96 batteries In Thneedville, the air's not so clean So we buy it fresh It comes out this machine! In Satisfaction's- guaranteed-ville In Thneedville, we don't want to know Where the smog and trash and chemicals go I just went swimming, and now I glow In Thneedville, we have fun year round We surf and snowboard right in town We thank the Lord for all we've got Including this brand new parking lot! Parking lot! Oh, look, it's Aloysius O'Hare Aloysius O'Hare The man who found a way to sell air And became a zillionaire Hip-hip-hooray! In Thneedville, we love living this way It's like living in paradise It's perfect! And that's how it will stay Oh, yeah! Here in Love-the-life-we-lead-ville Destined-to-succeed-ville We-are-all-agreed-ville We love it here in... Thneedville! Yes! Oh, hi, Ted. Oh, hey, Audrey. Hi. Did your ball land in my backyard again? What? No. A model airplane, this time. Hey, do you want to see something cool? Come on. Whoa! Did you... Did you paint this? Do you like it? What? Are you kidding? This is amazing! What are those? Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk! Wow! What does that even mean? I know, right? Oh, yeah. What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree growing in my backyard. So if, say... I'm just thinking out loud here. If a guy somehow got you one... I'd probably marry him on the spot. I bet that sounds crazy. Does that sound crazy? No! Not crazy. Not crazy at all. Ted, honey, don't play with your food. You, either, Mom. So, Mom, do you happen to know if there's any place where I could get a real tree? Ted, we already have a tree. It's the latest model. Yeah, but I mean a real one that grows out of the ground or whatever. You know, a real tree. Really? You would rather have some dirty, messy lump of wood that just sticks out of the ground? And it does what? I don't even know what it does. What's its purpose? Look at what we've got. It's the Oak-amatic. The only tree with its own remote. Summer, autumn, winter, and disco! Mom? Come on, Ted. Get into it. Dance with the tree. Oh, it hurts, Mom. Please stop. So, anyway... Let's just say I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Then you know what? You need to find the Once-ler. The what? Mom, it's not really the time for one of your magical fables, okay? That's right, I forgot. I'm old and can't even remember to put my teeth in. Stand down. That's not what I meant. No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? Sure, Mom. Okay, here's the deal. The Once-ler is the man who knows what happened to the trees. You want one, you need to find him. The Once-ler? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Grammy, is this a real thing that we're talking about now? Oh, he's real all right. Well, where can I find him? Far outside of town where the grass never grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows. And no birds ever sing, excepting old crows. Quit doing that. That's the place where the Once-ler lives. Wait, outside of town? People used to say if you brought him 15 cents, a nail and the shell of a great, great, great grandfather snail, he would tell you everything. Hmm. Mr. O'Hare, what we've got for you is something that is going to take O'Hare Air to the next lev

I fear you too late anon, I already have the entire Lorax script downloaded as a PDF on my school account that I used to distribute to anyone back in the day for those willing to pay the price.

WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MANY ANONS

THAT MLEM WAS NOT ME

(- original anon)

Dear original anon,

It appears that we have an imposter among our midst. I am shivering in me timbers as we speak, I fear!

Pardon that other anon I wouldn't send you that song I promise

I should hope not . . !

Cannot believe the audacity that I got accused of such a heinous crime that I, yes I, was a fake Mort fan . .

What if i straight up bitted you. Nommed the skin and bones

...that'd be a little hot, I'd say for I am always truthful with my ano- [GUNSHOT]

Hah.. hah hah.. woah..

you’re a weird little freak. i wonder if i could hunt you for sport

now THIS is proper flirting