Ghost Helpline

Please sir may I have some more???

Damian: Father, you’ll be glad to know that I’ve made friends. I won’t be available tomorrow because I’m going to meet them

Bruce: I’m glad. what will you do?

Damian: We’re going to organize a murder

Bruce:

Danny having used the same thermos for his ecto vitamins before and figuring it’s fine because he washes it and Tim is pretty liminal at this point. Hell it might even help the guy feel better.

Jason finding traces of lazerous water in the tea: he’s a dead man!

And technically he was right

Danny, working as a cashier: Can I help you?

Tim half-deranged: Please I just want a cup of coffee

Danny squinted, then pulled out a binder: I'm sorry, sir, but you are on the Don't Serve Coffee list. I can offer you some tea instead-

Tim: NO. THIS IS THE FIFTH PLACE. BRUCE CAN'T OWN YOU ALL!

Danny leaning in to whisper: Look, man, I can't give you coffee under the cameras. Meet me in the back alley in twenty minutes and I'll get you a coffee. Bring Cash.

Tim: how much? Five hundred, six hundred or hell even a thousand? I'll bring whatever you want.

Danny: Chill dude, it's a cup of coffee. Three dollars is fine.

Tim: It's not just any coffee! It's my favorite brand and Bruce bought them out just to make sure they wouldn't sell to me anymore!

Danny: okay okay, this coffee means a lot to you. I get it. Twenty minutes alright?

Jason three weeks later in Bat cave: Tim's on drugs! I've caught him trading cash for small containers in a shady alley six times. We need an intervention.

Dick: What?! I thought that was his boyfriend!

Bruce: I also thought that was Tim boyfriend but if it's a drug dealer we have to help him.

Tim hiding in the shadows: shit.

Tim texting Danny: If anyone asks your my secret boyfriend who been making me teas in allies

Danny: who the hell would believe that? But I've had a boring week, so yeah, I'm down to be a pretend boyfriend.

Yes!!! Someone wright a fic and tag me please!!!!!

DPxDC Prompt: Magical arrangement

Betrothal between Captain Marvel and Princess Danielle Phantom of the Infinite Realms: Both are about 14, both can shapeshift (make her look more adult to fit in) and both don’t want to bother with marriage at this point, but they are close friends and people keep asking Danny for his daughters hand in marriage - The Champion of Magic is a suitable political arrangement.

1) Maybe the Justice League gets involved when the contract is hammered out or when Billy is informed

2) Maybe when Billy calls Danny or Dani to deal with a problem none of them can.

They see an Eldritch abomination turn into a women that looks about in her 20's with White hair and Green eyes run at Captain Marvel and Hug him and Billy gets to explain that "This is Princess Danielle Phantom of the Infinite Realms, daughter of his Majesty Phantom, High King of the realms of the afterlife. My fiance"

3) Maybe one day Captain Marvel just turns to Constantine and tells him that his father in law owns over ¾ of his soul and would like to have a meeting about it.

Constantine splitters "What?"

"My father in law wants a meeting in regards to the soul contracts that he inherited." The Justice League is confused. Batman is the one who asks.

"Your father in law? We were unaware you're married Captain." A flash of realization crosses his face.

"I've been betrothed to Ellie so long I just refer to her father as that. My partner is Princess Danielle Phantom of the Infinite Realms, Princess of the Cosmos. Her Father is High King Daniel Janus Phantom, king of the realms of the afterlife. Apparently several people that Constantine made deals with handed them over as part of their taxes? I didn't bother to understand, the end result is that he has possession of the majority of your soul contracts an would like to meet you to settle a different contract due to not wanting to deal with the paperwork." Billy said all of that in a measured a tone as he could as several emotions crossed The face of most of the League with Constantine having the most amusing one.

"How did you end up betrothed to the Daughter of the High King of the Dead and Ghosts?!" Constantine splutters. That one Billy can easily answered

"Oh me and Elle were friends for a long time and she was required to look for a partner to strengthen the Realms, as the semi-mortal Champion of Magic I was considered an eligible partner. I asked what she thought of it and went to King Phantom about it. I love her and we'll get married eventually but at the moment we are simply betrothed untill we both decide that we wish to wed." The JL looked even more concerned at that which he didn't understand, wasn't that a reasonable response?

Family Discussions-

Big Sis: why do you call everyone “baby” but be?

Me: I call you a baby all the time

Big Sis: when?

Me: usually when I’m insulting you

Logan worked at a goddamn school he is gonna teach his new crush how to read or die trying!!!

poolverine bookstore meet cute where they're both reaching for the same book but when logan tries to strike up a conversation about it or the author, wade is like "no actually i can't read i just loiter around the bookstore and purposely reach for the same books as people i find cute. anyway do u want me" (logan does)

Family Discussions

After watching the first hobbit movie

Me: Elrond has the patience of a saint

BFF : yeah but I somehow feel like Lindir has to put up with more bs

Me(internally): she understands

Constantine: I can help keep the big bad tough ghost away from you!

Danny: …bad ghosts???

Constantine: yeah like who ever gave you those nasty bruises there kiddo

Danny, ghost culture kicking in and just having babysat Youngblood with ember: are you … are you threatening to take my friends away!!!!!

JL: …. Wtf John!

DP X DC PROMPT BECAUSE FUCK SLEEPING I DON’T NEED OXYGEN

It’s a hard summoning. A horrible summoning. The very worst Constantine’s ever been part of, he was expecting a rough ride with an entity of this power but surely this is excessive?

The Ghost King has been known to accept deals for centuries, and yeah the terms are shit but the world is full on ending and the Justice League are out of better options

When the magic lashes out and takes Doctor Fate to his knees, he begins to doubt what they’re doing

Is this really the better option? Really? Sure, Pariah will take the souls of all their enemies into his army for conquest, but if it costs everyone anyway…

**

Danny wrapped arms, legs, and teeth around the telephone pole in Amity Park, growling against the pull

Of COURSE this had to happen three days after he made a joke about “being the only entity John Constantine hasn’t tried to sell his soul to” to Clockwork

He’s not fucking losing the bet about making it to the end of the week

Dear Tumblr: My brother feels bad for lying to his internet friends of a year. He had to lie about his age to get an account and now they all think he’s 14 (he’s actually 13).

I keep telling him it’s not a big deal but he feels guilty and still hasn’t told them the truth.

What should I do?

They really didn’t mean anything by it honestly Bards elves were just too sensitive!!!!

Verissa had been about town with Lindir when thier dear little nephew had run up to them crumbs splattered on his face hands wide for a hug. All the elves adored the children of Dale and Lindir was no acception.

“Verissa can’t I play with you today mommy and daddy are fighting again.”

“Of course you may,” Verissa cleaned his cheeks “ this is my friend Lindir.”

The rest of the afternoon was quite uneventful until dinner time approached the child, “Do I have to go home Verissa?”

“ You do. Look as much as your parents may fight they love you okay.”

“Really?”

“Of course, as constant as the stars above always know that you are loved....now go hone my poor brother must be worried sick! Shoo!”

“Bye Verissa! By mr elf!!!”

“Well now that the kids gone.... Lindir.”

Tears streamed down his cheeks.

“Awww fuck.”

Ghost helpline part 14 New Meetings and New Beginings

Vlad knew three things about Bruce Wayne; he was a playboy, a philanthropist and loved kids. Oh and he was utterly ditzy, kind but dumb. As his kids would say a “himbo”. Vlad relaxed as he scuttled about the kitchen and platted them both up some lasagna.

He briefly wondered where Red, Jack he should get use to calling him Jack, had gone as he walked into the living room and saw the Wayne stare at the television. He had been in the middle of his latest k-drama when the door rang. The drunk looked inthralled with the show, turning to Vlad with a dopey smile. Vlad past him the plate of food before explaining where they were in the plot.

A part of him felt his scars itch as if to remind him of his mistakes. Don’t trust humans, don’t get too close. But as hard as it was to admit, he was lonely and even if they had hurt him he missed them.

Vlad wrapped his robe around him tight.

This was fine, Bruce Wayne was harmless anyways.

—- —- —-

Jack will admit to this not being his best idea, but the blob ghost had informed him that Violet was sick. Nothing major but … still. Jack wanted no needed to help.

He helped the family move in, using his speed as discreetly as possible. He hid in the kitchen and tested the Masters neighbors cookies for poison. There wasn’t any. He went to help but Violet wasn’t there.

But now he could help, there were vampires in Gotham. If he followed the direction to Bludhaven right he should come across a patch of flowers. A fever reducing potion should be easy to make from there.

There were vampires in Gotham so Jack really couldn’t be blamed for assuming he’d never run into a were wolf here.

- Aqualad patrolled Bludhaven as he waited for Nightwing, they had a case to work on. Nightwing is late but that isn’t anything new. He’s texting the acrobat about it when he spots her. It’s hard not to look, especially in a place a dreary as Bludhaven.

She has fine red hair cascading down her back. Her outfit is entirely pink. Like really pink, right down to the platform shoes. The mysterious girl is deathly pale clutching a bedazzled phone for dear life. It’s almost as if she is looking for something. Kaldur feels bad chances are she’s lost. The Atlantian turns around and heads off to meet the Nightwing anyway.

—- —- —-

Boston left Zatanna and John to their bickering, he already knew where they would go to get information. A seedy pub, or illegal trading ring maybe they’d even go some fancy library but Boston knew where the real action was at.

He flew off to Fawcett City.

The door chimed as he walked into the store, the door reading “Mystic Hannas Hair Salon: We’ll change your look like Magic!” Ah it was good to be home.

—- —- —-

Harley is delivering Ivys latest stash of drugs to Penguin when she feels a shadow come from an alley. Which can’t be right. The bats know better than to get that close to a target. She bends down to scratch her new pets ear. (Pan had been getting creative lately.) Taking advantage of her spot on the ground she looked at the alley until something came out. Oh a girl. A girl with violet eyes… fuck what was a meta kid doing out here by herself? Looking closer she was covered in something too. Gross.

Violet stared at the blond woman from across the street. She had a cute little celery dog, it reminded the demon of Auntie Sam. It oozed the magic of the green, so that was probably a good sign right?

“Hey what are you waiting for an invitation get over here!”

Violet smiled, it would seem that she had passed whatever this lady’s test was. She had been stared at and not found lacking, that was a first. It felt nice.

Harley could not believe someone would just let their meta kid run around Gotham. Especially near the Ice Berge Lounge. Her little celery dog seemed to like her tho tugging on their leash to get closer, wagging its tail in glee as the girl trotted across the street like a new born foal. And that was concerning, a good sign that celery dog liked her, she was actually coming over here? Just because she’d asked? What the fuck? Did the kid want to get murdered? Because that’s how you get murdered in Gotham!

Harley squared her shoulders and opened the door to the empty pub, “Come on in, let me charge my phone so you can call someone to pick you up okay?” God Harley hoped she wasn’t a runaway. Well then looks like it was up to Auntie Harley to teach the new kid the rules of Gotham, it could be her good deed of the year she thought.

Celery Dog rubbed itself against the girls legs, “Well hello little one, aren’t you just marvelous.” Her voice was small and quiet. Celery Dog sprouted little flowers at the compliment, which wtf? Did celery even come from flowers? She was so going to have to tell Pammy about this. This kid was interesting.

—- —- —-

Dandelion “Dandy” Masters was pissed. What was meant to be a short trip to pick up his sister was slowly but surely becoming a disaster. They missed several turns, blew two tires, somehow ran out of gas and now, now they were lost!

Charles got out of the car and held his cellphone out looking for bars, “Oh snickerdoodles I got like no reception.”

Dandy sighed, “Hand me your mirror.” None of the clones, aside from Alcor, had shown any affinity for magic. Dandy hated using mirror phones the most, he considered it a waste of magic crystals.

Charles leaned over his brothers shoulder, “Dandy… why the fuck are we in Rhode Island?”

Dandelion zoomed out into the distance of the mirror, “Welcome to Happy Harbor”, he wasn’t entirely sure how but he knew this was all Klarions fault.

—- —- —-

Bruce sat him self on the man’s couch being served his own butlers pasta on a paper plate.

Paper plates, plastic forks, no cameras.

He scans the room as the TV plays a sappy romance show.

Pictures, pillows, art projects litter the area.

Vlad rewinds the show to read the subtitles, again. “The subtitles are wrong, what he actually said was ‘I won’t leave you’.”

The man’s eyes positively lit up at him, “You know Korean!”

“Yes I know multiple languages actually.”

Something about the way he said it must have come out wrong because shorter man shuffles back from him.

“Sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just really tired of that being so surprising to people.” And it wasn’t a lie exactly he knew how important his Brucie person was but sometimes…

“Oh. Does that happen a lot?”

“Does it matter?”

Vlad shuffled away from him again. Bruce feels like an idiot.

“It does, did did that happen today? Butter biscuits is that why you came over drunk?”

Drunk ? He wasn’t, oh right. Bruce Wayne is a notorious party animal. A notorious party animal that just invited himself in to the man’s home. A man that is three inches shorter than him and probably weighs a hundred pounds less. Bruce feels like an absolute asshole.

Think! Bruce think! Say something!

“So tell me about your kids?”

Vlad’s responding smile takes the weight off the bats shoulders.

—- —- —-

Aqualad and Kightwing are investigating a potential Vampire Fog death when they hear a howl. The heroes looked at each other, wolves aren’t native to the area?

They are outside of the building as quick as possible immediately spotting a blur of pink. Dick almost assumed it had to be a speedster before it stopped suddenly. Her eyes connected to Aqualads, arm scratched bleeding red pupils blown wide. Kaldur saw their fangs last, bracing himself as the creature rushed forward!!

… and hid behind him, “Sanctuary! Please sanctuary!” A not so girlish voice rang out at the same time a mammoth creature of hair and claws rounded the corner braking the edge of the building.

Jack closed his eyes, he knew the stories of the King of Atlantis. That he deeply cared for all his subjects, if any of them got hurt on land there would be hell to pay. On top of that all Atlantians were warriors, Jack was a home maker.

Jack wanted to see Violet again more than he cared to keep his pride. He kneeled behind the dark skinned, handsome ocean native and plead.

“Please Atlantian help me.”

Notes

In this Vlad is 6’ and 170lbs

Batman is 6’ 4 and 250 (internet said 210 I looked my self in the mirror and laughed so 🤷‍♀️ 259 it is)

Violet = Konstelacio

Red = Jack, yes he is a vampire.

Jack is a tall boy, he dresses very Kawaii and loves to cook and clean and take care of people. He can make potions and tinkers in mechanics.

Aqualad doesn’t mean to misgender Jack- to be fair he is wearing a dress. 🤷